troublerawk72 raza ruckus's blog: "stories from the criminally insane"

something has to spark my interest. something has to chase the threat of me away. something has to make me change for ever and see the light of day. there are skies far darker than the night i currently dwell in ,but ther are even more skies that shine like the sun and i deprive myself and bathe in sin If i had one wish i would wish for a few more ,because it will take more than one wish to fix what I have ripped and torn.. something has got to give under all this push and pull strain... something had got to make me really want to try again something has sparked me and i feel a swing in my point of view something has gotten me thinking about forever and that something is you

shinytime see those smiles....they are'nt for you...not the real you . they are because the faces see through you or more likely because the faces are just like you they shine whenever the world says it's shinytime...... even if thats not what they feel behind the mask at that time . you let them validate you and you don't think too deep it all comes out when I hear you crying in your sleep. they can make or break you and that makes and breaks me I want more for you...more than I want for me I will still return your void smile and thoughtless stare, I will never run too far just ask andI will be there. but, remember ...no matter how sour or unattractive my face is...my smiles for you are always real... and you will realize one day too late that my shinytime means more than all the rest because it is real and that is all too rare

the day things are always ending or maybe they never do... i quit all of that ,but i can't quit you. round here we just stuff it all away..... smoke drink shoot to live one more day. mine eyes have seen the changing if the gaurd. The way you smile makes me tremble in that all too familiar fear. soon you will say the words i've always wanted to say...i just never had that power so i will drink,smoke and shoot away the day

observations on cuddling I am a bit confused about cuddling....I mean I know the hows and the whys of it but, the last two girls I have been with have both told me (before anything physical went on between us ) that they were'nt cuddlers and then after we became physical I find out that maybe I was mis-led..Now far be it from me to complain...I myself enjoy it(and yes I know men lie about it too) but, I am just curious as to why women would lie about it...I mean do they think that is what guys want to hear so they say it?...or do they really believe they don't like to cuddle and maybe only enjoy it in certain situations?....Is it me?...am I so fabulous that they can't help but want to cuddle me?...or maybe is it because I am kinda like an overstuffed teddy bear that makes them turn into snugglers?..whatever it is I am happy for it but, I am a bit befuddled by it....anyway whatever the reason is I just want it known ...I LIKE CUDDLING!...haha..if it is with the right person that is....

spinning sounds like i have never heard resonate in my head. vwoom....vwoom,vwoom....air does'nt sound so i must be spinning or floating, but my feet are touching ground. make it stop so i can balance. not a soul is stirred i am alone on this ride,choking on every word i do not recall how i got this way all i know is i did'nt feel like this the other day you packed it up and left me again i am spinnig now and will until i don't know when. spinning outta control ,losing grasp. holding tight to what could never last i am slipping away into your history a memory that will darken your past please up there give me the strength... im holding on now but............................ i am spinning i am spinning too fast

I spiral I work my way through the curves and I slip on the slopes I build myself up and then I spiral down and crash my hopes I see this maze of twisted ways and means I trip myself up and forget all my dreams I spiral so far down that I can't even remember up .the way I see things is not half but more like an empty cup. I dust it all off and start again. I smile in your face and tell you I am a friend but.............. I spiral