Buttercup's blog: "Squirrels in heat"

Cast: Ally Cast: Ally I couldn't help but notice. There's something on your chin. Perhaps the tracks of what you lack that you've been drowning in?

A little bit of irony A little bit of sin. I couldn't help bit notice, The condition you were in.

A little bit of "Kingdom come", A tad bit more, "thy will be done... Say I'm up for, A wee bit numb

So up the ante Spoil the trick. Buy a lighter and sit and flick Whatever it takes, he's got some trick

I couldn't help but notice. There's something in your eye. The lasting cast of days long passed, A shudder and goodbye.

By Ally I couldn't help but notice. There's something on your chin. Perhaps the tracks of what you lack that you've been drowning in?

A little bit of irony A little bit of sin. I couldn't help bit notice, The condition you were in.

A little bit of "Kingdom come", A tad bit more, "thy will be done... Say I'm up for, A wee bit numb

So up the ante Spoil the trick. Buy a lighter and sit and flick Whatever it takes, he's got some trick

I couldn't help but notice. There's something in your eye. The lasting cast of days long passed, A shudder and goodbye.

By Ally

There is something inside me I cannot explain Is it fear, is it anger? Is it sadness? Or pain? There's a burrowing creature Devouring my heart My innards are turning I'm falling apart I can't take the subway There's nowhere to park And I feel all alone Like a kid in the dark How can I make it all Just go away? And how can I take it all I'm so afraid And where is my flashlight? And where is the door? And what are these feelings tormenting me for? I've tried hard to hide them And cannot ignore The damage they're doing Is breaching the core I'm so very tired But I came here to say That I'm feeling this feeling That won't go away Is it something I did? And now what do I say? I'm broken, a lemon Sell me on eBay. Pass me the liquor I'll wash down the meds This whole thing goes quicker If I'm outa my head Turn up the music I listen to tool And don't try to move me If I jerk, twist, and drool Just stop the commotion For gods sake, I'm me Overwhelmed by an ocean, Consumed by a sea So find me the potion To scoot this here tree For I'm building a notion That no one is me. ally

It's funny how sceptical of others people have become.  I tend to see the good in others, thus, my career choice; but I am bewildered by some who seem jaded to the point of paranoia.  I began to understand that ultimately, my undergraduate degree in Philosophy could come to some incredible use again.  lol....here is my argument.  From the nut's shell:

I am me unless you are not you either as there is no way to prove said facts if one of us doesn't exist, to say nothing of neither existing and if one is disproving the other, there's no telling how many people could go missing.  That's right.  Even cute ones like me.  lol  , thus we are not.  If we are not we cannot be fighthing.  I would like to argue I am me on the grounds no one is really anyone, why not?  Oh and because I am me.  DNA sample?  To compare with what?  picture.  Driver's license (yeah, right) to compare with what?  This is to inform you that while you may think you are on to some conspiracy, directed at you, there's good news.  No one is.  Bad news.  You need meds.  (I said that with a very sweet smile on my face).   It's tiring.  It's all happened before and it's tiring.  Of course it works out and I come out on cam and blah blah blah 

 

Reasons you, not being you, cannot dispense with judgement upon moi:

 

1.  You cannot possibly prove you are you without refererencing someone else you deem relevent who is none the less not proven to exist, either.  

2.  You may spell better than I can?  But I have biting, cutting, wit" (per my oldest brother).  Thus I shall flog you for your distrust in me and punish you by forgetting about all of it.  HA.  

3.  I have a secret math formula.  If I write it out you will disappear.  

4.  Anyone found disappearing will be reported as non existent immediately.  

5.  Yes, these are also kinda like rules 

6.  People with extraordinarily large breasts of other body parts cannot logically exist due to centripital force.  I forget what that is?  And I can't spell it?  But it is a fact.  

7.  I am amusing enough to exist in the minds of many, many people whom I don't want to see that often.  

8.  Really?  That hurt my feelings.  

9.  If I get my feelings hurt I at least exist but if I'm not me, who the hell am i?  Should we check the wal mart "missing and endangered" poster wall or the police /FBIrecords?

10.  Yes, this is ridiculous.  Such is life.  So are yew...

 

Ally

I'm working on a moment. I must escape this pit But God, I'm so exhausted Please tell me this is it A place to rest my mind, please And in the moment's wake The only thing I find is A cargo of mistakes I can't survive another day A tear slips down my cheek I long for songs to lead the way So I can fall asleep How dare you watch me silently And never say a thing. How dare you tell them, I from me Extraordinary things. How dare you figure out I'm me And dig and watch and play Just listen to the struggling It's just a normal day And never take me literally And watch out for the rug At least wink when you hit on me I really need a need a hug. Remember to remind me Reminding me is crucial And don't go search and finding me If you are mean and brutal. I'm going to have a moment now Just wait, the end's sublime The crowd is going to stone me A hateful waste of time No not really Don't be silly It is just another rhyme Ally

Some top moments in life...so far...

1.  Setting the front yard on fire with a magnifying glass then watching my mom come out with pots and pans and try to beat the fire out.  Oops.

2.  Blowing up the microwave.  That was so cool, tho

3.  Jumping out of the car at the intersection at night and then Jay jumping out and running after me with the car left running at the light.  Yep.

4.  Discovering that one of the paramedics Jay called on me was my grocery sacker.  Then explaining why Jay carried me up the back steps by one arm and one leg lol AND threw my dog off the deck. Then getting engaged....long night.  

5.  Throwing product 19 flakes all in my brother's bed

6.  Growing that plant my dad confiscasted and getting a date with the police officer he called to warn me about it lol

7.  Punching a bully in the mouth and knocking two teeth out, then hearing him scream "JUST GET HER OFF OF ME"

8.  Punching Chanah every year from 7th through 9th grade.  

9.  Going to punch my brother in the face when he moved and my hand went through a window.  It started squirting this little funnel of blood.  My mom freaked.  My brother just screamed, "APPLY DIRECT PRESSURE!" over and over. lol

10.  Writing this answer on my final government exam to the question:  "describe the judicial bench":  It is wooden and long and seats several judges.  

11.  Driving through the McD's drive thru with a popcorn bucket with eyeholes cut out on my head

12.  Driving to Nagshead with a sack on my head.  That's not legal.  

13.  Pouring one of my roommates's shampoo out and filling it with my own mixture

14.  Stealing all of my roommates clothes from the dressing room while she showered

15.  Getting 16 hours of community service this year for showing up eight hours late to court on a year old expired tags charge and getting the giggles.  NOT funny.  No...

16.  making a mixture of nail polish remover and rubbing alcohol as "poison" for "jennifer" when I was four.  Smart kid.  I don't know who Jennifer was, but bitch had it coming.  

17.  Moving a bunch of people's books out of their lockers after getting "sentenced" to clean out lockers?  Who gives me a key to the lockers?  Wha? lol...oh...

18.  Getting detention and suspended for calling myself in as my mother and failing badly.

19.  My chemistry final.  11th grade.  Q:  The city water supply is threatened by acid.  What could be put in the water to fix the problem?"  A: milk.  He gave me credit...lol

20.  Directing my roommate at night in the dark to a corn field then getting flock giggles cause I couldn't figure out how to get us back out.  She got so mad.  

21.  Giggling at one of my best friend's weddings after Jay's breath smelled just like this dead squirrel in the wall....long story.

22.  Making everyone beside me giggle and they didn't know why

23.  Discovering you really can use the shop vac to remove debris from your throat.  

24.  My mother discovering my discovery and telling me I would suck my lungs out.  My doctor laughing histerically...

25.  My personal belief that if it can go INTO your eye?  It can go ANYWHERE.  Just pointing that out.  

26.  Putting a band aid question mark on a band's car along with a business card advertising "help for confused musicians" after they sent some twirp to hit on me...again.  

27.  Going to the big gym and telling the dude there I wanted to learn to fight.  Having him listen to my woes and tell me "you just need self defense", and the look on his face when I shouted, "NO SIR.  I WANNA HIT FIRST".  Boxing ring is in the back...

28.  Setting my bed on fire while playing, "smells you should not like" (matches) and striking them and lighting napkins.  Bad idea.  Got convicted in social violations hearing court on campus for that one, but my dad was proud it was for setting fire to my bed and not having a boy in my room.  :)

29.  Discovering that I am in fact the person they wrote "do not use in bed" on all the electronic stuff like hair dryers.  

30.  My request of the chaplain in the hospital to pray for me to "Seize the day" and have a seizure for them so we could figure it out and her actually doing it.  LOL.  Who says prayers don't work?

31.  Managing to pee without ever leaving my seat at a rolling stones concert and having no one the wiser.  (my secret)

32.  Getting mad at my brother for using my toothbrush then boiling the toothbrush and melting it.  

33.  Me skiing.  Totally stoned.  And suddenly I could do it. Now I can't ski any other way.  Sigh.  

 

OH CALM DOWN it's not that bad.

 

XO

Ally

Say that idea's wicked I'm with it Let's try it
Sneak in without tickets And go off our diets
I might be explaining My selfness to you
But dudette, it's draining Quit watching me, eww
I filled up the cupboards With piles of clean dishes
Your sink needed a scrubber That's me, yep I did it
You ask me to move it And showed me the door
I pushed the cat through it And called you a whore
So you took the trash out? And gave them a break
Who's that you speak of? Of not your own dates
It's "bitch n moan isa" You've done it That sparked it
Complaining so draining You've cornered the market
Trust in your judgement Unless you believe
I'm here to befuddle, begrudge, and mislead
Now go eat your cornflakes Cause in them I peed.
Ally
What's a peed? Lol

Sailors speak softly 

 

Kindness I blow you a kiss

I blew one to compassion today

Giving and loving are wonderful

In spite of the things they may say

 

Hope is a very good advocate 

Harmony rides with the band

There's no sense in senses that aggravate

So I'm holding my breath in one hand. 

 

I once ran the border with confidence

Grace and fate stood by my side

And emptied my cluttered up consciousness

With conscience alive as my guide

 

I now sail emotional oceans

Fear and anger in waves at my hull

And it's filled with feeling I know them

At the toll gate I hear Jethro Tull

 

So I will continue to navigate

Which is the bow and the stern?

Forgiveness a path you obliterate

When the bridge to civility burns

 

I'll stand and blow kisses to innocence

Torment is tied to the mast

I ask for safe passage through ignorance

With patience in payment I'll pass

 

 

By:  Ally 

Well I have some writing to do.  And the first (second) things first, here are my ground rules

 

1.  It's not personal.  It's not about you.  It is my humor.   Fear not.  

2.  If it IS about you, WTF did you do to piss me off? lol

3.  If you read shit so closely your bought reading glasses and you're twenty?  Back off.

4.  Of course I am not me.  Well, I'm probably not the me you thought I was.   But yes, I would be the one who writes the poems and the blogs...

5.  I have so many pictures it's not even funny.  That's because I have the computer files.  And the Nikon takes hundreds or rapid shots.  It's hard to go through them all for the best shots.  TY for the compliments.  Jay is my photographer

6.  I'm here for fun and interacting. I like the attention and the attention likes me.  

7.  I'm ot here to fall in love or make YOU fall in love, oh dear God, don't do that.  

8.  Are there any nice girls out there?  I mean like, real girls?  lol  Not "let's trade pics" girls?

9.  It ain't drama till I say, "action", honey.

10.  Don't make me make all the decisions.  I will set things on fire (by accident) and lose everything, and lose you, and you'll feel lost, too...and just follow this advice

11.  I give preferential treatment to chats from blog readers.  I give preferential treatment to anyone who reads my blogs.  BIG time.  Just tell me you do.  If I don't answer the chat it is probably gone off the screen already, so chat it again or put it in a PM.  

12.  Please report any fake profiles with my pics.  

13.  I had the other glass slipper.

14.  I threw it at the duke and got in a scuffle at the end, so the prince put me in time out

15.  I do not like green eggs and ham.  I do not like them Sam I am.  

 

xoxoxo

I am the daughter of two college professors.  I have two older brothers.  We all beat the tar out of each other.  

 

I am Ally.  

 

Nice to meet you.  

The world was blah before you came

Nights were lonely

Days were dreary

 

Every hour was the same

I was lonely sad and weary

 

Things were sappy, pretty crappy, then came you and I was happy

 

So please don't go 

And hurt me so

You have been such a dear to know

 

Though if you leave me, I'll not beg

(I'll have large black men break your legs)

If your blue eyes wander

I won't pout

I'll take a stick n poke em out

 

So stick with me

You know it's true

You need me

And I need you 

 

Ally ;)