I know that I've seemed like an ill-willed person having the pity-party bigger than the New Year's party in New York when the ball drops, and for that If you're tired of my bitchin', well I don't know what to tell ya except:
DON"T FUCKING READ IT!
Sunday,
Capt. Sunshine had added his BOSTON BAKED BEANS (candy coated peanuts) to his plain M&Ms and in one of the wake up sessions I had in the wee hours of the norning, I found his stash in the side bin in our redliner. I ate just a handfull of M&Ms, I ate one of thos farking boston baked beans. (I'm deathly allergic to peanuts).
I slipped back off to sleep and woke up with a tongue 3x it's size/thickness, so large I couldn't hardly speak, much less swallow all that well. I was able to drink some benadryl liquid until my emergency call to the Doc , and the RX for the epi-pens(I'd obviously ran out)were picked up from the pharmacy.
Captain Sunshine had the nerve to say, "you did this on purpose, Ashleigh! You're just seeking negative attention like a child."
I said," well, that will teach me to stay away from candy. And had you not mixed the two candies, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place, you cold-hearted, hateful man. It was a genuine accident."
I'm not sleeping well, or at all sometimes, though I feel like I've been 'rode hard and put up wet'... Guess what? I not only beat up my husband in the king size bed due to my night terrors and this sleep disorder, but I also talk in my sleep (shit, I hope I'm not spilling my secrets *eek*),
I walk in my sleep as well, only to find that I fall in my sleep thus making head concussed. No one hears me fall or the screams and the whistles I try in order to get help(I whistle like a man).
SO I wake up with a black and blue face or God-forbid--waking up with a HUMONGUS, squishy Fred Flintone type of BUMP on the back of my dad-gummed head.
It is hard to wake all sunny and chipper when you are seeing double, dizzy as hell, and my boys need me for whatever reason, Sometimes Breakfast, Sometimes Dinner@ night, though the spousal unit doesn't do a terrible job, We just do things differently (and my way is better).
I've been banished from the bed to the couch or recliner so he can sleep well and be prepared for a long, hot, dangerous day working with LIVE power lines.
He is valuable in more ways than just being a provider for our home. I need him, our children need him, I just wish he were a lot more emotionally available for the kids and me. Plus I love him so deeply that my heart weeps fire just to feel his touch.
Thank You for allowing me to vent, I know it was long-winded like a Baptist Preacher at a Tent Revival.
Enjoy your days friends and family.
xxoo
Ashleigh
Pardon the typos. :)
