Private Nurse DSC's blog: "Sometimes Things Happen In Life"

So many things to say and no words to say them. Today we held the memorial service for my dad. Memorial service because his wish was to be cremated so there was no body or casket. Anyway, the service went really well. It was full of stories from different family members, friends, and church members...some inspired tears while others created a rumble of laughter throughout the church. It was really very nice to hear all those things and the feelings different people had about my dad. I knew he was special to me, but then daddies always are to their only daughters. After listening today tho, I realized he was special to a lot of people. I know that he is in a much better place and is no longer having any pain like he experience with the lung cancer that had spread to his bones. It just all went so fast that I haven't really had a chance to stop being nurse and just be daughter and grieve the loss of my daddy. It will come in time I know, and I know that I have wonderful friends who will help me anytime I need it. We found out on October 11 he had cancer and on November 22 he was gone...It was a lot to deal with in a very short time...So thank you to those of you who have been here and supported me through this...Your kind words, your tokens of friendship and the fact that you all have taken the time to do some small things to reach out to me means more than any words I have to express it. You all are great and it makes each day easier to get through....Thank you again..Love to you all...

Well, my dad passed away today, Thanksgiving at 3:25 P.M. I am thankful that he was saved and knew he would be going to heaven. And am thankful that he is no longer hurting or sick. He is better off than any of the rest of us at this moment. However, I am human so am very sad to have lost my daddy. Thanks to all who have been here for me and supported me the last few weeks. Luckily it was just that, a few weeks instead of months or years of suffering. One last thing I am grateful for is my friends who kept me going through all of this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Well, dad has declined a great deal since yesterday. Not sure how much longer he will be with us. Please pray for peace for him and for grace and strength for us, his family.

After another week in the hospital dad is now home. He was there because the chemo damn near killed him before the cancer could. He had no blood and still has no platelets. He is now on hospice. The chemo can't cure his cancer and continuing it will only give him another month to three months of life and there is no guarantee he will not be sick and miserable. So, since there is no cure he decided he had been through enough....and now we will just see how it goes from day to day. This is when it gets tougher. As a nurse I see this every day but damn it is different when it's my daddy. Talk about a helpless feeling.... Anyway, just updating the friends that keep coming to check on me and keep lifting me up with their prayers, words of encouragement and support. Thanks also to my lifeline, daddyfirefighter...I never would be able to cope without you.

Well, dad started chemo last Wednesday.... And ended up in the hospital on Sunday....Nice huh? It completely wiped out his white blood cells...as of today his White Blood Cell count was 600 which means he has NO way of fighting any kind of infection. He also already has an intestinal infection and is very sick and weak....so it hasn't been a good few days....He should pull out of it in a day or so tho...Keeping fingers crossed and the prayer lines open...... Thanks all for your support...I will be thanking those of you who continue to show me daily how great friends can be....

So he has almost completed half of his radiation treatments and they seem to be working pretty well as his pain is decreasing. Wednesday he begins chemo. He will take a treatment every 3 weeks. So we will see how that goes...Hopefully with prayers and the doctor's knowledge combined his cancer will be cured. Thanks all of you who have been here for me so far...Love ya all

So, Dad's pain is some better and he is now home....we got a second opinion today at UT Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas...pretty much confirmed what the first doctors said....which was that the cancer my dad has can not be cured...they can lessen his pain and give him more time with chemo but it can't be cured.... How long he has depends on how well he responds to the chemo....But they feel like he should respond pretty well to it since the radiation is shrinking the size of the tumors... So PLEASE say a prayer or two that God's will be done in this matter hopefully to cure this cancer, but if not, to make it a painless as possible.... Thanks all....Love 2 my friends.

Well the MRI from yesterday on my dad showed yet another place that the cancer has moved and that is the cerebellum of the brain...Which is almost the worst of all possible news. All I can ask now is that you pray harder and understand if I am not here a whole lot. Right now things are very difficult for me.... I do need my friends right now tho...So if you are one..thanks and I am going to ask you to PLEASE help me get through this....

Dad did his first radiation treatment today finally...which is about the only good news of the day. His MRI showed spots in his lung, on T7, T8 T11 which are thoracic vertebrae in his spine. T11 has a mass growing on it as well and it is putting pressure on the nerve and that is where they are focusing this first radiation in order to attempt to decrease his pain. He also has places in his hip and shoulder, and tonight they did an MRI of his neck and brain. The doctor is going to talk to him in the morning and set up his chemotherapy as he already also has enlarged lymph nodes in his chest. If you have any medical knowledge you will know this doesn't look too good. But God does answer prayers and I am betting on him in this situation. So, all of you who can or will, drop a prayer or so for us..Dad needs it and so does the rest of my family. Been a long day so again to all of my friends thank you for being there and for your support...More later...

First let me say that I am not posting updates to gain sympathy or points or anything else. There are two reasons for these posts: First, to update those who are my friends and are concerned. If you don't fall into that category then don't read them. Second, is to help me deal with things as they happen on a daily basis as I am so busy with my dad, and helping my step-mom, my grandmother, and being here for my son as well as working, I don't really have much of a chance to talk to anyone. This is my way of documenting and dealing with whatever happens as it happens. Am sure some will have nothing better to do than make some smart ass comment...And to you I say that I hope it helps make you feel a little bit better about yourself and your day to type hateful words about a crappy situation. Now on to the real reason for this update and I wish I had more to say but today was a little better for my dad...he had less pain finally but is getting enough Morphine to knock out a buffalo. His x-rays from Saturday showed nothing that could be causing him pain in his shoulder, back and hip. He did tonight have an MRI of his shoulder and spine and hip so maybe we will know more tomorrow. Am still holding out a little hope that most of this is degenerative bone disease from him being so stubborn and over doing things for years and years. Would be a lot better if the cancer hadn't spread to the bone like they think... That is about all I know so far... Thanks again to my friends, specially Goddess aka BlondeAquarius, Kelli2you, Hot, Wet N Dirty, Not_The_Doctor79, Witchesbrew, Tom G, PeachyKeenJellyBean, and BobbyT645...Your gifts, emails, kind words, and comments brighten my day, and you do it every day without fail. If I forgot to list some of you I apologize in advance... been a long few days but all of you are appreciated even if I miss listing your name in this blog... So thanks all, and love ya