162698's blog: "something in the air..."

Hey yall Sorry i havnt been on that much. Work and some family things have come up, more family things. LAst year was not a good year for me towards the end of the year. Had 2 family memeber passaway and it was not plan. Oct my sis-n-lw passed unexpectedly, an in Nov my mother passed. So im having to deal woth things theres. I miss all all. I try to be on a lil more. Hope to chat w/all soon.

21 Oct 2007 Changed my familys life as we know it. My bros wife of 9yrs 9days past away, leaveing hime the job to be father an mother their lil boy to raise. 25 November 2007 Changed my family life again, an Rocked/changed my life. My Mother pasted away. Leaving my bro an I to go one an live in this world. Mom gave us/taught us so many things that it to big to list, the biggest things she taught us were how to love someone twice if need be, how to worker harder if need be, and most of all.the act of Humility. Humility: is a quality or characteristic ascribed to a person who is considered to be humble. "Humility is derived from the Latin word "humilis", which means low, humble, from earth.[1] A humble person is generally thought to be unpretentious and modest: someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others. according to Wikprdia. This was My Mother.

redoin last blug...missed up...sorry

Change of plans have to wait till Jan 08 to lean how to drive a Big Rig. Oh well. Gives me more to time to learn some other stuff.

In life their comes a time when that lil voice in side of all of us that says and makes u think. "Holy Shit batman, what the hell am i doing" Have u ever gone down the road as a kid and sat in the back seat of car, and see a big 18 wheel truck, and do everything can to get them to blow that horn. sure u have, we all have done it. Well in a few days ill be going to truck driving sch an learn how to drive one of those 18 wheel trucks. so i can return the favor for those kids an blow that horn. Its something i have always wanted to do, and have put it in the back of my mind only to put it off, till now. Sure its something for me, but in the end, it is to make a better life for my daughter. as parents we all do/want that, to make a better life for are kids. give then something more then what we had. I'll try and keep a thing going on my travails. And let you all know where im at, an what i see.

Well i did it, i called/appyed online to be a Big Truck driver, should hear back from the company in next few days. Not goin to say who is it just yet, till after i am appoved an are hired. Wish me luck :) It felt good to do it, felt like i was doin somethign good for my dau and her future.

I've been working at the airport for a lil over 5 and half yrs, an it ok, pays the bills. but lately I have been having second thoughts if I want to stay there anymore. Sure I would love to do the job I really want to do, and that's being a camera operator for a tv station or what ever, then owning my own production studio, someday it will happen. Im always thinking of videos how they should be, how they can be an such. But there something else i wouldn't mind trying, cuz its something else i like doing, an that's driving. what is it u ask, its driving a big truck. Cuz i like to drive when i can. Theirs just something about driving to someplace new an seeing something new. (blah blah, yeah i know im rambling on an on) Driving a truck has been on my mind for sometime now, an other then being a lil scared about doing it, an confidence level a lil low at times, I have pushed the thought waaaaaaaaaaay back in my mind. But lately I have been thinking about it more an more, the more I think about it the more I want to see if i can do it. Theirs only one thing now that stoping me, an that's Adrianna (my daughter) she's still a baby and I don't get to see her as much as I like (long story, if u know me i willnt bore u w/it again, cuz im sure u tired of hearing it) but after what has felt like forever finally I can say theres movement on getting custody an visitation going, still going to take sometime, but the ball is rolling. Anyway, the big reason why i really want to look into being a truck driver, cuz theirs money to be had there Big Money, an just knowing that I can really do something that means something. also for a future for Adrianna. It has taken me a some time to realize that I need to think of someone else more, and not just my self, what I mean is and its pretty self explanatory. I have to think like a parent an think of child 1st. Need to secure her future an show that her old man is not just some smuck. I not getting any younger and not having benefits or what ever i didn't put to much stock in to it, I was there to just make the money an work. You see most jobs I have had in my time there was no bennys, or what so ever and were dead end jobs its just how it is, that I have ended up w/them, or have worked at jobs like that. Long story short, I have been living on my own for, 5yrs now (moved out late, was in my 30s when i did. so sue me.) tried once be4 to live on own, but was young dumb an stupid w/things i did, etc etc. And had to move back home, everyone should know what i mean about that, when u 1st more out. But now im in the process of owning my own home (ok its a moblehome-trailer) but its a home, that ill own in about 2yrs, a place i can call My Home. Anyways, that's life. Learning an realizing things ,an growing as time goes on.

work lately has been ok, except i think im going to start charging ppl that ask me Stupid/Dumb question from now on. take this one, the other night while standing in the terminal this guy comes up to me and asked "where mcnammerar terminal" i looked at him, and w/out thinking i said to him "ur standing in it" i had to say it 3-4 times, before it sunk in his head that i was telling him what he wanted to hear. now i speak English good(pretty sure i do, since its the only language i speak) an he spoke English as well. so i know i he was understanding me, but he still looked at me like i was crazy. its at least 4-5times a night i get someone asking me "where's baggage claim" mind u, there asking me while standing in the baggage claim area. working at a airport is nice, fun, interesting at time, it seem that ppl think since u work there and have a airport id, u are to know every flight that comes in an goes out, an u are to know everything that is wrong when there flight is delayed or when it takes 30/40mins till there bags show up going around an around for the upteenthe time. people PLZ u were on a plane that just landed, an u were at a gate that u had to walk a mile from or if ur lucky, at a closes gate, but the aircraft u were on prob has 200-300+bags on it and the ramp crew can only go as fast as they can. the worse times that it takes forever for baggage to show up is the late flts that come in after 1130pm an theirs only 1 ramp crew of 5-6guys, an if everything runs on time, there's 4 flts that have come in less then 15ms, so that means that its going to take even longer for ur crap to show up. (u do the math) 4 flts, w/average of 200bags, so that means.....800-1000bags. that's allot. so ppl have a heart an just wait ur turn, grab a coffee (if there open) have a smoke, ur shit's going to show up....at some point i think....Oh and don't blame me or the airline baggage ppl, that ur shits lost, its not are fault, we work here in This airport, an not where ever ur coming from an are not at the plane.

I went thew Friend,family,fans and fans of and looks like i have some 980 ppl on all the list. But after deleteing all the non-pic one (stick face pics) i know have 875 ppl on the lists. Would thats alot of ppl. ANd 105 ppl i had w/no pic of anykind. Sorry if it was u, hope to chat w/u again.

Life is full of changes, some are planned, other are not. And w/life it seems that the unplanned ones happen all the time. Two and half yrs ago a unplanned/life changing thing happened to me that, I Don't Regret or would ever NEVER change. Oct 2004 i became a farther, a parent. An in the past 2.5yrs been understanding what it means to be a parent, a dad, a farther. But im learning in a way i hadn't planned, or wanted to be. Long story short, i was w/someone, an we get pregnant. I say "we" cuz we all say that when we tell ppl. Its simple, it takes 2 to make a person, not one. Anyway, these past 2.5yrs has not been that easy for me, an my child's mother has not been the greatest of persons to be w/or try to talk with. 2.5 yrs ago i i have tried an tried to talk w/her set up something so we could talk. She says "sure one of these days no prob we can talk" but it hasnt happen, an im tired of her BS an tired of having to see my daughter when she says its ok, an most of all im tired of when i do see my daughter at her parents home (where my X lives, still at home,shell be 35 this yr) when i go to her parents house, its like a supervised visit w/my daughter, an its only for a few hrs. Cant take her anywhere, cant even take her to see my side of the family. My daughter dont even know she has a other side of her family that she has never met. My X is a mean person. I could say worse but not goin to. After knowing her like i do i know shes a good person an dont mean most to half the things she may say. You see im the product of a one parent home/raising. And my mom did a great job raisin 2 boys, it wasn't easy, but i can not complain. I Never wanted my child or children to go up, go threw what i did. But things never seem to go as u plan it, and u have to go w/ the plan, cards, whatever is laid iout for u. I call kids that are raised by one parent, as being in "the club" its always growing, an theres a never ending stop of new members. We may never know who's in the "club" but when we do find a member we have the same story and a new friend. Anyway, i don't get to see my daughter as much as i like, an calling my x to see my daughter is never easy. it takes 2, 3 weeks sometimes a mth just to get a answer or to set something up to see my daughter. And when i an able its just for a few hrs I know i have had 2.5yrs to get off my ass to do something, an believe me i have tried many times only to get put in front of a road block by something. But that's going to change this Monday, ill be goin to see a lawyer at a legal aid place. I would get a normal attorney but i dont have the money for one, an every time i seem to be close to havin the money, something gets in the way. Life seems to get in the way an it Sucks.I know that prob sounds liek a cop out, are that im dragging my ass on things. Im not, believe me im not. I not asking alot, just more, an better visitation, an be able to take my daughter place w/ me show her things an such, u know things u would do w/ur kids.