Ridgerunner's blog: "someone like you"

Dearest Benita Peters , 
I dont mean to make you cry, but i did so you probably will. i want to write about an experience i had this morning and share it with you... lets see how this turns out punkin..

they say when a Cardinal lands near , it's a message from a heavenly being. 
as i looked out my window today , on a branch of a tree , a red bird i was seeing
it was staring right at me as i admired its beauty so i felt compelled to speak.
i asked " which heavenly spirit are you from? " and for whom do you now seek ?" 
i spoke silently with my mind as i asked " are you my mom , if not then who ? " 
as our eyes stared at each other the message was clear and it was for you.
it was like the bird staring could control my thoughts before it took into flight.
i believe the spirit was saying that Jada'lynn made the journey and is alright
i know in my heart this was a heavenly body sending a loving message of relief
to let us know she made it to heaven and maybe this news would ease our grief
i'm a nature lover , i look for it all the time and have never felt like i did today
there was a comfortable connection , i just can't think of the right words to say
that Cardinal wasn't just a beautiful bird the way it stood perfectly still and stared
it was sending a message to us loved ones on earth from an angel that cared

The Hunter

i love to go hunting for that elusive buck
i wont stop hunting until one is in the truck
my wife she gets mad because i'm never home
every chance i get, through the woods i will roam
i could get an archery stamp and shoot one with a bow
that would be more hunting, and she wont let me go
it only comes once a year, so every things on hold
ya know that i'll be hunting, until i'm too damn old

Hummingbirds

there's nothing more gracious than a humming bird in flight
its one of natures wonders, it really is a beautiful sight
they flap their wings so fast , and they dart that way and this
to watch them drink from a feeder is something not to miss
they seem to come from nowhere ,all at once they appear
little things like this in life, are things that i hold dear

GRANDCHILDREN

my kids have grown up but they gave me a treasure
it's in the form of grand kids, a love you can't measure
every time i see them i get a hug and a bright smile
especially after i haven't seen then in quite a while
for now i see them often and it puts a joy in my heart
this house seems quiet and empty when we are apart
their love is pure and innocent, like the falling snow
what i would do without them , i never want to know
they fill the void that's left by my kids that are grown
the love of a grand child is like one i've never known

A DAY THROUGH MY EYES
if you lived a day through my eyes, would you shed the tear.
would you beg to be another, instead of being me , being here.
would you find yourself being weak, as the pain comes flooding in.
would you be lost and find yourself not knowing where to begin.
i'm sure i would feel the same, if i endured your pain for a day.
we seem to get accustom to our own, and handle it our own way
if you lived a day through my eyes, would you share all of my love
would you show kindness to everyone , even the good lord above
would you accept being loved and known as a good human being
would you be happy or sad when through my eyes you are seeing
would you be okay or scared if i lived a day looking through yours
would you be okay with me seeing the smiles and the open sores
i'm not sure that i would , there are things that give me doubt
if you lived a day through my eyes, you'ld see what i'm about

by: Randy A Peters 
01 / 05 / 2016

AN EFFECT OF DEPRESSION YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN

did you ever want a relationship , but feel the time isn't right
like when you're single with depression and all alone at night
you work so hard on yourself, that you cant spare the attention
you want to ask someone out, but that you don't dare mention
when you crave companionship, and you have lots of love to give
but now you must put yourself first to wake up and want to live
rather its love you miss or just some attention that you desire
you tell yourself that you'll be fine but you know you are a liar
you fear that they won't be there later, it takes too long to heal
you get cheated of a chance for the emotion of love to feel
depression isn't fair to me, i don't want anyone to hurt from that
i sadly know what it takes to commit, and that is not where i'm at
i let my love for them go unspoken and deal with my empty heart
it pains me to see them because i know we must stay apart
just another side of depression that people never think about
before i involve someone else i must be without any doubt
so i'll stay alone and battle my demons until i can give my all
this alone depresses me , i hope some day i can stand tall
and enjoy the pleasures involved in letting my feelings show
i pray that they will be here and single, when i can let them know

The Embrace of Depression :

its a chilly morn of a saturday
i dont want to get up but i do anyway
i feel the depression start to creep in
im not gonna fight it, but i will win
to be depressed i sure have the right.
to my happy memories ill hold on tight.
like the days i would get Sami out of bed
i feel a smile coming as these thoughts fill my head
depression throws a sucker punch , hard, and from behind
the blow erases my smile and throws my heart in a bind
try to stop thinking so much, maybe that is the key
i cant ignore the sadness, it has become a part of me
ok, i am a sad person, ya know what? whoopie shit
i got to learn to deal with it, it means death if i quit
i dont smile to often and to laugh out loud is rare
i take a sigh of relief every night because im still there
the holidays suck, too much connection with the sad
i lost my mom this time of year and i really miss being a dad
if i can go on in life all you people can too
with god and good people, there is always someone who LOVES YOU!
may you all find peace this holiday season
love, Randy A Peters 
11 / 22 / 2014

GIRLS HUNTING 2

I'm a girl and i love to hunt just as much as any man
I will shoot a gun just as well , that i surely know i can
I can take the cold and walk quietly through the trees
I can sit still for many hours , waiting on my bent knees
I love the sport of it all and it puts food upon the table
Not all men are happy with the fact that i am just as able
The skills i have to be a hunter are not just for the men
The first time i went hunting , i knew i would do it again

dear Sami,
its been 2 1/2 years since your mom took you away
my life has been a living hell each and every day
i cry in the morning, thru the day and into the night
i was and am a great dad, and to see you is my right
i must prove things in court , before i can see you
they make this so complicated i dont know what to do
but i will keep trying , please know this in your heart
you'll see how much i love you, when we're no longer apart
till that day ill keep praying and hanging on by a thread
you will see i never left you when it's all done and said
with you missing in my life, i don't even want to live
we have lost so much time, with all the love i have to give
i know you will never see this, i just need to bare my soul
you are only four years old and missing you is taking its toll
ive lost so much time with you. i'll be a stranger when we meet
but i'll get you to love me again , i will not accept defeat
i'm coming for you baby girl , your daddy will not be denied
your mother will not keep us apart, but she damn sure tried
this daddy would wake you, kiss you and hold you tight
this daddy would bathe you all clean and lay you down at night
these are sweet memories for me, in you they don't exist
but im determined , im loving, im hurt and i am pissed
yes i'm coming for you Sami , but it may take me awhile
but someday you will call me daddy and i'll see that shining smile

Growing into an adult is much like a maturing butterfly
We aren't aware its happening , as the time goes by
We learn to make better choices ,put the bad in the past
Then over a trying period of time , we are an adult at last
We never quit growing as we spread are wings for flight
We are always learning the differences of wrong and right
Learn from the past and look forward to the days ahead
Be a better person, no matter what you've done or said
Be a beautiful butterfly and leave your cocoon behind
Better yourself everyday and a happy life you will find