some one tell me why we continue to live even when we know things arent going to improve. my friend barbara says these things help so lets see. i just want someone to tell me why we live our lives when they are nothing but meaningless shit. for so long ive been surviving...why cant i just for once have something worth a damn. the only good that ive got in my life right now is my man. theres nothing i look foward to more than coming home to him...or him coming home to me. but there are still times when i wonder if everyone and myself included wouldnt be better off if i werent here. so many times ive looked a knife with wonder and believing that it would drain all my pain out. i guess this is just my moment of self pity. ill be alright. i hope.
with love to all those who love me.