Disposable's blog: "Some of my Poetry"

You came into my life one day,
with beauty I had never ever seen
and swore that you would stay,
we would be a king and his queen.

You sang your songs of love to me
and professed them all to be true,
a song of how the future would be
if I would just stay stay with you.

Such wondrous words I would hear
as you wooed me with tender eyes,
slowly drawing yourself more near
until I felt you, much to my surprise.

Then a song burst from my very heart
a song of love, I gave it willingly to thee.
I swore that we indeed would never part,
for you were now the dearest part of me.

The ecstasy that swept me took over,
my heart had dreams of endless joy.
I dared to see you as my one true lover,
the way it could be 'tween a girl and boy.

It was then that you turned to go away,
had I done something terrible or wrong?
"Oh please come back!" loudly I did pray
unable then to stay composed or strong.

You turned and saw me bound there
within the love chains that I had made.
Walking back, I dared hope you did care,
that my love and tears did you persuade.

You reached and with a single blow
ripped my beating heart from my chest
and with it killed my now suffering soul,
I helpless in the chains could not protest.

"You gave me this forever, to do with as I will."
I watched as you put it on a necklace you wore.
then without even a backward glance to kill,
you walked out, leaving me there on the floor.

So I did sing my love song one time for you
and you left me battered and so very blue,
I wish my life had ended right there, I truly do,
but I am doomed to suffer endlessly for you.
-------------------------
I have spent this day just trying not to die,
I took a little time time to sit and cry.
Christmas is always such a hectic day,
with presents and paper every which way.
then there's always the huge family meal,
one more thing with which I must deal.
The grandkids did holler and laugh out loud
at the antics my son did for the crowd.

Through it all I have sat and did smile,
trying so hard not to die meanwhile.
I will not tell, nor will I ever let it show,
there is no reason they should know,
what all of the doctors have indeed said,
that this big tumor, here in my head,
will soon be the reason that I am dead,
I will not fill this day with gloom and dread.
---------------------------
When I think of you I can not help but to smile,
more than your exquisite beauty, grace or style,
for they can only catch and mesmerize the eye
and what I now feel for you is so very much more
than anything that I have ever experienced before.

It is more than the the witty things you always say
or how you always so easily chase the blues away,
More than the fact that you would never tell me a lie
or the way you make me comfortable and at ease,
nor the way you are always terribly easy to please.

More than the way that who I am is perfect with you
or the way you are willing to do the things I want to.
More than that we seem to share the same thought.
More than just because it feels like my heart has died,
I feel empty when you are not right there by my side.

It is not just the way that you make me much more
by just being there than I was ever capable of before.
More than anything that can be made or ever bought.
It must indeed be a wondrous blessing from up above,
that special gift that only a few find, it must be love.

-----------------------------------
Once I was told "You can be
anything you want to be!"
This I did take time to ponder,
it made no sense at all to me.

Could I ever be a child again,
without the beatings and pain,
is this possible I did wonder
and what would I truly gain.

What if this time I was loved
instead of beat and shoved,
this time if my parents cared
and I was indeed truly loved.

No state would take me away
making me an orphan stay
in a dorm with others shared
who saw the young as prey.

Not know rape and abuse
and every foul kind of use
To live a happy normal life
not one so overly diffuse.

Would I then have a chance
at finding love and romance
perhaps even a loving wife
and we could laugh and dance.

To not have the scars there
that so many people scare
to be like you normal folk
live without constant despair.

I can not be what I want to be
you all make sure of that, see
society wants me beat and broke
on that you seem to all agree

How can one who suffered so
dare think he is not far below
those of you who have it good
and always have you know.

I can not be allowed to stand,
be beat down with foot and hand,
not allowed in the brotherhood
of being just an ordinary man.

You can be what ever you see
if you are viscous enough to be,
have the money to pay the fee,
not born poor and nice like me.
-----------------------------
Why can't I be like normal people, is that too much to ask?
To not be scarred inside and out, is all I am wishing for.
It seems that if there is a God, he gave me Job's task
and then set me here upon this earth to suffer ever more.

I have fought great battles in life, both with arms and mind.
Have always been a man of honor, always a good heart.
Never is there the joy and peace, that I so hope to find
only more pain and suffering as if it is my assigned part.

I have been shot and stabbed, in the streets and in the war
have given love to have it betrayed, known almost every pain.
Yet through it all have been kept alive to suffer even more
and when I think it may be over, it starts up once again.

I have always tried to help others, but it seems when I do,
it sends a loud clear signal, that you are an easy mark.
People take advantage of you, it is sad but so very true
and it confounds me so and I think it would even Plutarch.

I so appreciate the little things, that some people do or say.
A simple thing like a helping hand or perhaps a random call
It seems that I have to, it is the most they throw my way
and if I did see their value then I would find no joy at all.

Is there something powerful that from before my very birth
decided I was a test of will, perhaps just time to pass,
as long as I am kept here, to suffer on upon this lonely earth.
Am I just a ant trapped beneath their burning focal glass.

Twice here on earth I died, but they won't let me rest in peace
A deity,powerful and  supreme, I could never hope to surpass
a man of honor I am bound to codes till my existence does cease
I will do what is right, and though I suffer, they can kiss my Ass.
-------------------------------------
 I need to write a happy poem, one that will make you smile.
One that paints an image as wonderful as a blushing child.
I need to write one that keeps you thinking for quite a while.
A poem as elegant and sweet as any bride to drive you wild.

One that will surely cause the imagination to work at full bore
creating unimagined things of splendor and exquisite beauty.
Work with every color ever known and then invent some more,
one that stirs the senses until you can taste it, rather fruity.

I need to write a happy poem that makes even grown-ups laugh,
perhaps one with a joke in it, a punch line being the very last.
Maybe one that describes a slip or someone's awful social gaff.
One were people will remember and think "That really was a blast"

A cheerful poem of inspiration, will brighten even the gloomiest day,
but how can I write such thing of with the beauty of fluffy, falling snow?
When deep inside my tortured heart there is only the dreary color gray,
no hope of ever being happy again, your departure was the final blow.
------------------------------------
I watch as reddish orange rays light the tree line,
giving signs of that the day will be full of sunshine.
The songbirds awake with the dawn,begin to sing.
Nature reveals for us all to see an exquisite sunrise
but it is not nearly as lovely a sight as your eyes.

Nature produces some of the most awesome shows,
beautiful clear skies and some mind boggling snows,
even at her worse, she creates a spectacular thing
for even her deserts and lava have beauty of their own;
none near as mesmerizing as what you have shown.

Men have been known to search their whole life,
enduring numbing hardships and so much strife'
in search of diamonds, gold, or some other thing.
I found my true treasure and I always hold it near,
nothing on earths more valuable than you , my dear.

Having such riches make you poorer each long day
as you worry about who will try to take them away.
It makes your heart numb like a shot of morphine,
as you horde and try to keep these treasures so cold,
I would much rather your love and warm heart to hold.

I have traveled and seen many great wonders, true'
the Taj Mahal and Mt.Everest to name a just few.
A more wondrous sight I truly have never seen.
Made by man or nature, it does not mean a thing,
unlike you they can not, make my heart truly sing.

The fact that you want me makes me even more
than I could ever be alone or in this life was before.
You fill me with hope where none has ever been.
I am hoping that you will forever share in my life
and do me the honor of consenting to be my wife.
------------------------------------
They have had time to eat their breakfast twice,
I say to myself as I slide into my thick jacket
"Don't you dare forget your hat" comes advice
from my wife,I reach and grab it off the bracket.

"Do not track snow inside this time." she adds,
as I open up the storm door toward the old barn.
I will admit I tracked some snow, one of my bads;
no worse than tripping due to random balls of yarn.

I know she does not think about it or do it for spite,
no more than I do when I forget to brush off the snow.
Just one of those things we do, knowing its not right,
it does no real harm and is hard to remember though.

Walk down to the barn along my already shoveled trail,
slide open the massive doors which I lead them through.
They slowly raise their heads out of their empty grain pail,
and I open the stall gate to lead him out through the snow.

I have a hand on his halter, but it really does no good at all
twelve hundred pounds of horse could surely have his way
if he ever really wanted to, he would fling me like a ball,
before I could stand up on my feet be near half mile away.

He lets me lead him where I want out of trust an desire,
for like a dog he wishes to please with almost his action,
unless there is some wayward danger that ranks higher,
or something he thinks is danger, but is a mere distraction.

I let him through the pasture gate and close it behind him
and head back to the barn to get my mare out here too.
I hear her whinny as I turn around, she does it on a whim,
for never have I had any reason to have to separate these two .

I bring her out the door into the brightness of the morning sun
and she prances with glee and snorts at sight of the snow.
As I let her through the gate, they both take off on the run,
kicking snow all over the place and snorting as they go.

A horse is so much like a dog, but most fail to notice
even though all the time it is right there for them to see.
They are both "group animals", aware of their status,
as long as we are dominant, submissive they will be.

Both just want to please us as they would the pack top
although both could for a while take over control or kill
unless it is an accident that they can not control or stop
or you are so extremely abusive, neither truly ever will.

I watch them flying through the snow, spraying up a cloud
of fine misty snow which catches the suns glistening ray
and listen to them fart and snort, both are extremely loud,
then they do a little sidewards buck and continue on their way.

They come running for the gate as if they will not try to stop
and then they slide through the snow and it covers them.
I watch and see their knees go weak and know they will drop
and then they roll over until they are covered stern to stem.

Yet another way they are so much like a dog, which will roll,
cover themselves too,then they will shake themselves clean.
Finally their joyful display seems somewhat under their control
so they start to eat their hay, later they will the other preen.

There are many ways to start the day, but this one of the best
for even though I hate the snow and all the work it always makes.
It is worth it to watch the grandchildren,dogs, horses, and the rest;
I will sadly do all the shoveling and not complain for all their sakes.

I see Mama has been watching it intently from the picture window
and even with my failing sight can see her smiling from ear to ear.
They seem to get so much satisfaction from it, I wonder if they know
just how much their romping in the snow fills our hearts with cheer.
-------------------------------------------
Once there was a mighty man, who sat upon his thrown
and all that he could see or touch, he could call his own.
The world was his to command and always get his way,
upon his thrown he decided that he would always stay.

He soon found that he missed life as he sat right there,
so many adventures others had, he never got to share.
What good is such a throne if a prison it does become,
he decided it was not for him as life he wanted some.

So he arose and planted both his feet firmly on the floor,
in his regal manner he strutted toward the closed door.
Determined to go into the world and live life once more,
greeted the world again as he shut the bathroom door.

alternate:
he would see his computer for spells, but never like before.

alternate:
his couch and TV were great, but life offered so much more.
----------------------------------
You said you would love me forever
that I could just wait and I would see.
That the passage of time would prove
your endless love and constant fidelity.

You said no man could tempt away
or by force ever stop you from loving me,
that your true love was forever endless
all I had to do was wait and I would see.

So I gave you my heart to always have
and blindly surrendered my love to thee.
Thinking that forever life would be grand,
as starstruck lovers we would live happily.

I guess forever is not even nearly as long
as I had foolishly imagined it would be,
you have gone with a man, pretty and rich,
not wanting anything more to do with me.

You knew what I looked like from the very start,
had said that riches could never win your heart.
I thought forever meant forever, not a small part;
maybe the reason you left is, I am not too smart.

----------------------------------------------
I once was asked a question, a simple one for most,
posed to the group by our more than gracious host.
"Who is your hero?" he had asked loud and clear.
Some gave a very good answer of their Mother or Dad,
but many of them gave ones that made me very sad.

My mind went racing forward to a long bygone year,
danger was present daily and death was always near.
My memory of it to this day is still so sharp and keen.
Young men doing what they felt they had to bravely do,
protecting the life and freedom of people much like you.

My plight was as a sniper and I was proud to be a Marine,
and I was attached one day to a squad that was so green.
I was to drop off in the jungle to hunt another sniper there.
They went along the appointed route, scared and all alone,
not accustomed to this war into which they were thrown.

We started by a rice paddy with the jungle lurking there,
it gave a shiver up my spine that stood up my every hair.
Then gunfire erupted from the greenery,quickly killing two.
Every Marine hit the deck not wanting to be the next dead,
more than a couple with their hands covered up their head.

The paddy was bobby trapped, it's something they use to do,
so that your fear would lead you there, letting them kill you.
I heard the first mortar coming and knew what it did mean.
The trail had been presighted to send death from up above,
all of these men would go home dead to those that they love.

What happened next is something that must be truly seen,
and is a living testament to what it means to be a Marine.
I stood and yelled at them to get up and charge the hill.
That  laying there not only mean that they would have died,
but also meant the death of their friend there at their side.

Every one of them, each as scared as they could ever be,
even the ones that fear had caused to shit and even pee,
stood and started  up that hill into that dark green wall.
Each Marine summons up what he had to save his buddy,
and we left five that day on that hillside wet and muddy.

Every Marine had seen the other as they died and did fall
and knew that it was for them, that they had given all.
Each one had been paralyzed with confusion and with fear.
All of them had overcome it to save the other's life,
so that they could go home to their mothers or their wife.

Being brave does not mean that you do not know fear,
it is the ability to overcome it for the others that are near.
None of them got a medal or recognition for that day.
They were just doing what was expected of them there,
but that day is one that made a brotherhood they share.

So pardon me if I look at you in a most peculiar way,
when Micheal Jordon is your hero, you do stand to say.
I do not know the names of my heroes from that day,
but each and every one of them finds peace, I truly pray,
for they lived and offered their life for another on that day.

SIDENOTE:

We went off to an unpopular war not with a public cheer
and returned to hippies that called us names and did jeer.
I can only hope that when a soldier takes up arms for you,
that you treat them with the respect that such a feat is due
and welcome them home again when their duty is through.
--------------------------------
Was working in cellar on a broken chair
when I had to turn around, I saw her there
my pretty little angel that I love very dear
and as I watched she did slowly draw near.

She seemed to hesitate with every pace
and had a sad look upon that lovely face.
She raised her head, looking me in the eye
"I have to talk to you, cause you never lie."

I wondered what could bother one so fair
as I reached for the almost mended chair.
It was good except needing a binding rung,
"Why the sad face on one so very young?"

I sat in the chair and tested it would stand,
and then I held out to her my calloused hand.
She climbed up on my lap trusting it to hold
and I almost cried with the story that she told.

The kids at school were making fun of her today
and the cruel, vicious things that they did say.
Teasing her to tears that day, it was all because
she was still pure enough to believe in Santa Clause.

She looked up at me with those wanting eyes
she needed to know the truth, not a lot of lies.
I steeled my self to do what needed to be done
"Yes there is a Santa and I'll prove it , little one."

"Santa is a stranger that gives gifts to boys and girls'
he does not worry if their hair is straight or in curls.
he gives to them in hopes that it will bring them joy,
and expects not a thing in return from any girl or boy"

She agreed that my definition was true so I went on
"Remember the tree that has all the paper stars upon
that is in the stores at the mall when we shop up there?"
She shook her head in agreement and with a blank stare.

"Each of us take one and buy the gift that it does say."
she answered me wondering why I brought it up this way.
"Do you know the child that will receive that gift you bought?
Is there any kind of reward from them that you have sought?"

"I know there is a Santa Clause, millions around you see
for everybody is one that returns a gift there to that 'star' tree.
Know there are Santas make me as proud as  I can ever be,
for I have one right here with me, sitting on my own knee."

"Perhaps those other children that teased you so today
just do not know who Santa really is and so it may stay
for there is nothing that you could ever say or ever do
that will get them to see the Santa that is alive and true."

She smiled at me and laughing up the stairs she ran
like a mystic creature from lore, we all know as Pan.
Her head peeked back down the cellar still so very glad
and said"It is okay, it will be just our little secret Dad."
----------------------------------------
I have never written one and am not sure that I have all the principals in place. Advice welcomed.


Only snow to own
            happy with my heart of stone
                                        like the cat alone


The king stands tall
          the fate of leaves in the fall
                                  he should now recall


Man may claim the land
            but when his time is at hand
                                  others there do stand
---------------------------------------------
I toiled and worked to make enough to live,
no thought to all, that each day I had to give,
just to make the things my family needs,
but ever mindful of every one of my deeds
to make sure I live a life of honor and pride,
and have nothing from my children to hide.
So I close my eyes until the morning sun,
my daily race in life has again been run.

My life it seems has been given for others,
not the way I would, if I had my druthers.
I went away and fought in a foreign war,
so they could not set foot on our shore,
until finally so weakened and nearly lame,
home to profane curses and jeers I came.
So I close my eyes until the morning sun,
my daily race in life has again been run.

I found a good woman and a tract of land,
determined here we would make a stand.
I gave it my blood, sweat, and even tears,
working hard for many of my short years,
until she said that she was finally done
and off with a rich man she did surely run.
So I close my eyes until the morning sun,
my daily race in life has again been run.

I have worked hard to raise my children,
to protect them from harm and any sin.
Tying so hard to provide their every need,
teach them to avoid such things as greed.
One by one each has grown and gone away,
leaving me all alone at the end of the day.
So I close my eyes until the morning sun,
my daily race in life has again been run.

I have lived in honor and kept my small pride
I know I am a good man, still here deep inside.
kept to my principals never casting them aside,
used them all the time as my trade I have plied.
None will ever say that I gave up or have not tried
and I hope I am so remembered after I have died,
As I close my eyes never again to see the sun
my race in life being over and completely done.
-----------------------------------------
The nature of Love

Before going to bed, I looked out my big picture window last night
and marveled at the downy snow, making a fluffy blanket of white.
Then the clouds slowly parted and the moon it's beams did spread,
creating an endless sea of diamonds and the most perfect sight.

After a little while I continued upstairs to my warm, comfortable bed,
but was awakened later to the sound of rain on the roof over my head.
I realized it would melt the snow and in a way it made me rather sad
I had wanted to watch the new day with it, but it would be gone instead.

I thought of how this first and momentary snow had made me very glad
and of the effect upon my heart it's exquisite beauty, so easily had had.
At last I drifted back into a slumber for the rest of the time I had to dream,
I knew this memory of perfection would remain through the good and bad.

I came down the stairs to face what would be a dreary day it did seem,
but through the picture window sun's first light soon did begin to stream,
and proved me be so wrong in all that I had thought I knew about the day,
before me I watched nature create a sunrise of which one can only dream.

The sun was rising slowly and before it topped the trees with it's brilliant rays
it sent a reddish-orange flood of light that beat back the rain's depressing haze.
Relentlessly climbing into the sky, it seemed to push the clouds out of the way
and delivered the most awe inspiring sunrise, causing me to watch in a daze.

I could not help but to think of all the beauty I have encountered  along my way
and feel an uplifting sense within my heart to start this new and hope filled day,
for such a wondrous gift delivered for me to watch from the heavens far up above
a show of natures constantly changing  ways and grandeur there put on display.

That sunrise made me think of many things that day in a world of push and shove
as my mind wondered restless, eventually I began to see the true nature of love.
A relationship must be symbiotic if it is to endure the test of time, so unrelenting,
one must always give as much as they take, the other to always be thinking of.

For if one takes more than they give, the others love will find itself slowly starving'
if it continues too long, it will die and leave alone the one who was always taking.
A taker is just a parasite and it's host will in the end die, 'less it can be rid of such
an unavoidable outcome as nature shows in so many examples there is no denying.

Love is a living thing;as flower needs the soothing water and the suns sweet touch,
love gets it's strength from both you and them and from neither one way too much.
Like the flower getting only one, it will perish by way of burning out or it will drown
the two of you surely see yourselves as one, being there together even in a clutch.

Love is always changing it does not stay the same for long, like nature or a town,
it will change what love feels like, each perfect like the snow that had fallen down
became the wondrous sunrise, so different yet so very perfect in it's own unique way
and both of you can wear your love for all to see, as if it were a shining new crown.

I know my humble words are feeble compared to what is in my heart this very day
and there are no words that can express the things my heart would truly like to say,
but I wish that every one of you could know the nature of love and I will always pray
that you shall always hear "I love you" often and that it will guide you on your way.
---------------------------------
I can not help thinking "What a wondrous day it is today"
as whistling a happy tune I continue merrily upon my way.
My old truck lays a useless heap back there on the road
and I continue on foot for miles to reach my simple abode.
My pockets are empty so that is less that I have to pack,
and I do not own much more than the clothes on my back.
I have worked hard all my life and never seem to get ahead,
and know that I will have to until the day I am finally dead,
but there are some things in this life that make it worth while
and I just got a big one that is the reason I wear this smile.
The sun is shining brightly with it's always determined intent
creating as much heat here for the world, before day is spent.
The humidity and heat does not hinder me as I hurry along,
just skipping and dancing with the words as I hum my song.
The road glistens as if it was with diamonds carefully made,
each placed to catch and reflect rays when not in the shade.
The pebbles here on this grand gravel path where I do roam
hurt my poor feet with each step as I head for my dear home.
It is not a big place, some might think it a rundown shack
with a single long story and a small covered porch in the back.
This lovely place of mine waiting there patiently just for me
with a well mowed lawn in front and one massive oak tree.
The birds seem to join in my song as down the road I do go
livening the chorus with chirps and whistles as if they know
the reason the world is such a wondrous place on this day;
those three little words, I longed so to hear, you did finally say!
Three small little words that mean so much from one so true,
you kissed me good bye as I left and sweetly said "I love you!" 
----------------------------------------
I got up early this day because I found I could not sleep
and went out to my wife's grave, her company to keep.
I walked the path with eyes closed, as I did know the way
Sitting on the wet grass into me the cold began to creep,
alone there in hiding darkness, I suddenly began to weep.

There was not yet even the slightest hint of coming day
nor of the joys or sorrows it would soon bring my way.
There upon the dew soaked grass a shiver through me ran.
It was dark, cold, lonely and miserable, I will have to say
so much like my life, it seemed,since she had gone away.

It felt I was condemned to be a lonely, lonely man
and the very thought of it, was more than I could stan'.
The emptiness prevented me from knowing what to do.
I was too distraught to even hope, let alone to plan,
memories and thoughts of her, through my mind ran.

Time passed while I thought and before I even knew,
the first rays of the morning sun began to shine through.
It seemed as if through the clouds and trees it did bend.
It shined so bright and sparkled on every drop of dew,
and heralded in this wondrous day, then to start anew.

A shining source of light on which we can always depend,
giving warmth and hope to help our broke heart to mend.
It was like a message to help me with my pain and strife.
To remind me that this moment is nowhere near the final end,
and I must keep on living for those, who on me much depend.

Then I heard the chirping of birds and all forms of wildlife,
singing joyous songs I had not heard, although they are rife;
sounding like the sweet melody as played upon a dulcet fife.
It seems that even though she is dead, she still gave me life
and I know that I shall always treasure, her my darling wife.

-----------------------------------------------
I walk slowly onto the long high bridge
and perch myself upon it's safe ridge
looking into the black waters below.
When I am gone who will ever know?
None will care when life is through
all now show that they never do.
What is the sense in continuing on
with no love and all hope being gone?
The water seems my blessed relief,
from all this suffering and this grief.

As I stand prepared to let myself go
into the rushing waters down below,
I hear the softness of a faint sound
and see a kitten there on the ground.
Such a small and helpless thing there
with no-one to love or remotely care,
a half starved orphan in a cruel place,
the saddest of looks upon it's face.
I lean over and pick it so gently up
and on my hand it begins to sup'.

How can I leave it all alone there
in a world that just does not care,
to slowly starve and die all alone
with nobody ever to call it's own,
ignored and starved life through
this cruel thing I can't stand to do.
I clinch it tightly to my warm chest
and decide to do what will be best.
The only question left for to solve
jump or home? I steel my resolve.

-----------------------------
The poem itself is meant to be representation of life in it's presentation. With structure within each pair and yet different from the next, like the days of our lives.Unrelenting, continuing on with no breaks or rest, sometimes no time to think. Yet amid all this the reader is to discern the meaning of the poem, much the same as we search for the meaning of life.


What is the meaning of life, so many seem to wonder
so upon this subject one time, I did sit and ponder.
I wish I had found the answer to share with all you,
well guess I could say it, although it would not be true.
My thinking led me to a thing that you might know,
but I feel compelled to express it here to you though.
I know that this great mystery has been well explored
and very often thought of by some 'til they were bored.
Wise men in their towers have battled without ever a clue
and tried in vain to solve it, their entire life through.
The powerful and rich so badly wish to truly know
so they would have one more way to all of us control.
I think that the answer has at times been known well,
although by how many there is no way to ever tell.
We all can have an epiphany, every living, thinking soul,
it is not the sort of thing that is within our tight control.
I am sure it has been known, not by those in towers high,
but perhaps by the peasants laboring in the sun near by.
There are so many more of us that live from day to day,
it seems so clear that one of us found it along the way.
I am sure that they would have gladly shared all they knew,
and it would have passed down until it got here to me and you.
I think it must have gotten lost somewhere along the way
in the daily struggle to make it through yet another long day .
Their mind soon pushed it aside and stored it way in the back
for the time to write such things to share, it probably did lack.
It was so consumed with thoughts of what had yet to be done,
and the schedules it must keep before the day's race was run.
So the secret to life was lost yet again, I honestly do  feel
because with the daily problems, this person had to deal.
What is the meaning of life, you and I may never truly know,
but the person working next to you may have found it though
and because the boss yelled at them or they had bills to pay,
that long sought secret, by the mind was quickly stored away.
Think of this as you gaze upon the face of those toiling near,
they may have known the dearest secret you could ever hear.

I did shorten it from the original and allowed it to follow a straight course, which life does not always offer us.

--------------------------
Shattered!         

When a child is born there is so much hope and glee
with a future so very full of every kind of possibility,
But it seems that fate has come to rob it all from me
and left me here in this gloomy place called reality.

Never again in this sad life it would definitely seem,
with shattered hopes and dreams strewn all about,
to see a kind of truth come of any part of life's dream
of never to see the slightest joy there is no doubt.

Yet I go about day to day with my head held high
and shall continue down this path until the day I die
and then perhaps I can dream a sweet dream of you
and perhaps then "that" dream can at last come true.

------------------------------------------
Oh to be truly loved is such a wondrous thing
it makes the blood run fast and the heart sing
to have the one you love be so in love with you
is all you could wish and every dream come true,
Days and nights forever lost within their charms,
safe and always wanted, held inside those arms.
There in this Heaven eternity you would spend
and love every moment knowing it won't end.

And to have lost at love is such a painful Hell,
one that is so terrible that words can never tell,
with never ending torment that tortures you so
and grinding doubts that will never let you go.
Each day a test of your fading strength and will
every night the loneliness moves in for the kill.
Yet you survive to be tortured yet another day
and it seems forever to slowly go on this way.

But I am here in Purgatory and am here to stay
for unrequited love has made my life this way,
never having the awesome feeling of the highs
or the painful lows that everyone does despise.
Days filled with longing for what might have been,
filled with sad visions of a love you've never seen.
Like the love that is not returned life truly is just
a hollow empty shell, but continue on I must.

-------------------------------------
Let me lay down beside you with my head upon your breast,
Or if you would rather rest yourself here upon my chest.
Let me gladly listen to the problems of your hard day
and hang on the lilting tones of each word you say,
touch with that wondrous touch that only lovers know
and melt away my worries as I rest within your glow.
My rough hands are longing for your soft, smooth skin
and there are untold passions burning here within.
Lets spend a day here,locked in each others arms
as I am completely lost in all your gracious charms,
and making love until the world has no more deman'
and we are content, you my lady and I to be your man.
Let me sate your every longing and every hot desire
let me be the inspiration as you burn upon my pyre,
one that you have built of love and then you have lit
so warm yourself with me and forget life for a little bit.
Then we can rest once more within each others arm
vowing to always keep the other from any type of harm,
let us live a life together making sure it does come true
and have a happy ending as we are one,for me and for you.

----------------------------------
Thee!
I am awestruck as I look upon you just standing there
such a sight of beauty that none could e'er compare
I am mesmerized as I gaze into those gorgeous eyes
and even after all this time it is still a great surprise
the feelings they send through me as my body shivers
my heart beats even faster and my bottom lip it quivers
for just the sight of you turns my mind up side down
and I stand there looking sad and acting like a clown
for oh so many sunrises have beat upon my long face
and traveled far seeing life in all it's worse and in grace
yet still you make me marvel at the very sight of you
you so seem to be the answer to every dream come true
I could compare you to an angel but none have I ever seen
I might try the heavens as my thoughts I do try to glean
but all fall short and not a thing ever could start to compare
with the what I feel and see when I look upon you there
for how could such things ever hope to start to compete
as I gaze so lovingly on the one that makes me complete
I know my words are simple and seem to be a mess
but I have no way to articulate your wonders I confess
and yet I feel so compelled to make this feeble try
knowing that such is an impossibility by one such as I
so over taken by the feelings that rage inside of me
all brought to a boiling point by just the sight of thee.

--------------------------------------------------
I was going over an old memory of mine and wrote this down. It is still rough, but suggestions are welcome.


Why don't people go away and leave me to my sorrow
for me there is no long sad night, let alone tomorrow
why do people stay around here to watch me grieve
when it would help so much if they would only leave
they can not know how it hurts to lose her this way
there is nothing they can do, nothing they can say
my heart, ripped from my chest, a void is in my soul
and all they do is chatter in attempts to console
I can not count the times I heard somebody say
"I really think that things are better off this way"
and that 'It is all part of an unknown greater plan"
I have had all the consoling that my heart can stan'
I know that they all mean well and have so truly tried
but can't they feel my pain and see the tears I cried
I always thought that we were one, nevermore to part
and now that she is gone and so is part of my heart
why don't people go away and leave me to my pain
for I shall never heal a bit til I am with her again.

--------------------------------
I professed an endless love
one that was forever true
like the life of stars above
and then offered it to you

you cast a glance at me
and then turned right away
it knocked me to my knee
the things that you did say

For a husband your too poor
you need so very much more
and too ugly to my lover be
not the type for others to see

but I am afraid that in the end
you could only be a dear friend
Taking my heart you did sing
as you slipped it on a string

a trophy there for all to see
as I in tow would always be
and there it was always worn
when you cooed or you did scorn

I spent my time being there
in good and bad times too
as my heart you did wear
and me, still so loving you

I saw you so misuse men
and then throw them away
making each pay for sin
that was yours that day

until my own heart shattered
unable to heal or mend
and I knew what really mattered
I could not even be a friend.

So now these things I know for sure
regardless of beauty seen by most
you are too ugly with a heart impure
too poor with no one left to care
not seeing what should matter most,
that is why I sadly left you there
I gave my time and heart it seems
to one that chases selfish dreams
and they are as wasted in the end
as the one who once called me friend.

------------------------------------

I could say "I love you"but what would it really mean,
to say that to someone that you have never truly seen.
I could say "I want you" and that would indeed be true,
but would be based upon the you I thought I knew.
I have seen your pictures, marveling at the view,
so mesmerizing that I wish to stare the whole day through.
I have chatted with you, hanging on your every word,
the things you say are the most wonderful ever heard.
Each of these things truly have an effect upon my heart
and I know that I so worry, because we are so far apart.
But still I can not help but wonder if indeed I do love you
or if it is just a case of so badly wishing it were true!

-------------------------------------
I wrote this back when those protesters were going to the funerals of soldiers and yelling that they were glad they had died. I titled it : A Soldier
A soldier fights, a soldier dies ....
a family mourns, a widow cries....
some will praise what he bravely did....
and honor the memory of this valiant kid....
some will say, "oh what a shame"....
and within the week forget his name....
some will say its all for naught....
not thinking of what his life bought....
some will spit upon his grave....
and criticize the life he gave....
but he chose this path,not on a whim....
he fought and died for all of them....
To those that at funerals do protest....
saying that all soldiers they detest....
You may curse at those that mourn the loss....
in the name of him upon the cross....
he that re-attached a soldiers ear....
he did not curse, he did not jeer....
you say you know how he would feel...
that he would hurt instead of heal....
I think that only time will tell....
and surely you will burn in hell....
for if you think the Lord's that way....
a heavy price you'll eternally pay....
and as that soldier watches from above....
his aching heart still filled with love....
then you'll know and you will see....
that he did it all for you and me... .

------------------------
I set my eye on the horizon and treasure I did seek.
I traveled around the whole wide world and did it once again.
On an arduous quest filled with excitement, rapture, and pain.
and each new place that I went, would my anticipation peek.

I have broke bread with lowly paupers and dined with supreme kings,
have kept the company of sages so very smart and wise
I could see the history of the long ages in their eyes.
I've had the pleasure of witnessing so many wondrous things.

One day a very wise old lady I had met asked of me
"Tell me sir, why is it that the expanse of the world you roam,
when what it is that you truly seek is only there at home?"
and she was right as she could be, it was there that I found thee.

Of all the wonders I have seen, from the miracle of birth
to the vast untouched landscapes where very few have ever been,
to the libraries of books and precious treasures I have seen,
I have never found one as wondrous as you upon this earth.

So it is that my roaming I have happily cast aside
and there is only one place where I now can be always found.
I no longer feel the need for searching or running around
for you are my everything, my life, my joy, and my pride.

I proclaim it loud for all the world to hear and know.
I would shout from the roof tops, I am bashful though.
I shall say it everyday and time will prove it to be true.
"I pledge my life and heart a life to forever to thee."
These words I happily pronounce with joy and glee.

When you are not here with me the clouds come
and I know not exactly where they do come from,
but they are only driven back by the sight of you.
My heart races at the merest thought of your smile,
it gives comfort but makes me miss you all the while.


Exquisite example of feminine perfection that you are,
your lovely vision seizes my attentions even from afar.
It gains control of my mind and does does mesmerize.
With tantalizing skin so fair and lips as red as any rose,
the graceful lines of your chin and gorgeous little nose.


Your form as perfect as the falcon as he does soar,
no man on this cold earth could ever wish for more.
The soft way the sadness of life is melted by your eyes,
your lilting tones that like heaven's choir does enthrall,
it is not a single perfect thing about you, but them all.

The way you softly giggle and even your flowery scent,
Every single thing about you seems to be heaven sent,
as if you are my saving angel to make this heart repent.
The loss of the burden of life alone I shall never lament
if only to be my partner in life you would just consent.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

When first I gazed upon your perfect beauty true
the fact was plain that I would deeply fall for you
and as your loving ways soon became more known
I happily fell head over heels into love's deep abyss.
A wondrous journey that I am so glad I did not miss.

That such wonders could exist,I truly did not know .
The grand magic of love to me, you so freely show.
I am thankful for every little thing you have shown,
for it has taught me to see as well with my heart,
by me an all too often neglected and ignored part.

With your gorgeous eyes you can gently embrace,
so sensually it surely brings a blush upon my face.
I feel the warmth with your loving heart come to me,
with just a the slightest glance that shows you care,
mesmerizing me so that all I can manage is to stare.

Those eyes deliver unto me a kiss so very passionate
it marks my heart forever with your unerasable signet.
A kiss that I can feel but the world can not begin to see.
One that carries to my very heart and makes me shiver,
that other women can only dream that they could deliver.

Your slightest touch has such an all consuming effect,
sweeps over me like the crashing waves on ship wrecked.
The sensations that it unleashes upon my wanton skin
travel through my taunt muscles and hastily up my spine
until within an exquisite ecstasy my mind they do entwine.

When the worlds demands let us finally be together alone
you give more pleasure than any man could have known.
Opening up your precious heart, you gladly invite me in,
and there I am revel in your magic touch and company,
for these wondrous treasures are known by none but me.

Yes you have surely taught me that magic does truly exist
and is not just tricks of shiny mirrors and concealing mist.
You have shown me a wonderful world I had long dismissed,
one so heavenly that I am helpless to in the least to resist.
I felt it gravity pull upon me when with your eyes we first kissed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How does one write that which truly can not be written,
oh, just  to describe the angel by which I am smitten!
Words which seemed to indeed flow like wine before
and were sweet upon the tongue to savor and to taste
seem to be pale and in all, such a drawn out waste.

What word could describe the way you make me feel?
How can they portray such emotion and that it is real?
Every line grandly written compare to be such a bore,
when I think of the the way you make me heart sing.
How can one ever accomplish such a difficult thing?

Is it just that my mind is intoxicated by love's effect?
Does that mean there's a chance you are not perfect?
I fail to think that there is even the most remote chance
that such a gift from the heavens, so wonderful and pure
could be lees than perfect, of your perfection I am sure.

How can anything conceived by man hope to portray
even just your smile when you look at me that way?
For words have limitations describing just romance.
What good can they ever be in trying to let others see
the wonders of heaven sent perfection such as  thee?

I think that in the end it is indeed an impossibility,
and just a foolish wish of mine that others might see
the exquisite treasure that heaven has sent in thee.
Perhaps then love would in turn set their hearts free
and the world could be as happy as you make me.

////////////////////////////////
Let it come upon us and in buckets spill forth,
let it deliver showers to the south and the north.
Let it cleanse the earth of the filthy film of dust
and cleanse this place of all that fouls the air,
giving it a new scent by which we can compare.

Let us use our senses as they were truly intended,
notice the freshness of nature, the old now ended.
Sure it may bring some puddles and create rust,
but it gives life to so many things, so let it come.
Let it fall on all living things without missing some.

Let it be a warm enticing rain from deep in the south,
the kind that begs you to look up and open your mouth,
that like a morning shower, rejuvenates you once again.
The kind that lover long for and exploit at every chance,
they can walk and play in it and some will even dance.

Let it deliver unto us the hopes that newness can bring,
same effect that is caused by a new engagement ring.
Yes, open up the clouds above us and surely let it rain.
Let it give true promise to all it touches along the way,
that there will be a rainbow soon and a new, better day.

Let it water all the crops and relieve the farmers fears,
and reimburse them for their toil over the dry years.
Let it soak our heads and trickle downward over ears,
best of all for those like me, these tiny fluid spheres'
will allow us to go about and nobody see our tears.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I truly wish to give a special gift to you,
one that will always make you smile.
A present that will let you know of love
and fill your heart with it all the while,
one that you know will always be true.

I wish to give a gift that like the sun
will brighten your day, make you warm;
like a eternal treasure from up above.
One that can protect when there is harm
and comfort you when the day is done.

I want to give you an awesome treasure,
to cherish and remind you always of me.
One that nobody else could ever give.
One that is as special as you, you see;
for you to have in times of toil or leisure.

One thing that you should know to start,
I am not a person of means it is very true,
it is all I can do to get the things to live
but still I will give that which I can to you
I give you now my lasting love, my heart.

--------------------------------------------------

Love makes everything in the world seem bright,
it fills your heart with music only you can hear
and it make things feel happier and so very right.
Your pulses quickens every time they are near,
a tingling sensation races through you, to and fro.
Until you feel that your skin is has a constant chill
that feels like you are being hit with small wet snow.
It gives you a reason to go on, importantly the will
to see it through and commit even your very heart.
I know love to be all of this and so very much more,
for she was a cheater and tore that completely apart,
now I am learning love can be as tormenting as war.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I often walk to help me clear my head
of all the trash that life gives me to think.
I find that it is much better to do instead
of sit in a crowded bar moping and drink.

I walked in the park on this fine sunny day
surprised to find that my mind did still race.
For all I saw as I went along my merry way
reminded me so of you and your lovely face.

The sun shed it's warmth on all is very true,
it does not select one upon which to shine.
That warmth reminded me very much of you
and how I feel since you you have been mine.

The branches of the majestic trees open wide
made me think of your always welcoming arms,
flung far open and beckoning me to be inside
where you could hold me tight with your charms.

The tulips that were planted around the lake,
of your seductive kisses so outrageously sweet
and how full advantage of my desires you take
to lure me in and make my life finally complete.

The happy singing of the birds so full of cheer
are among the sweetest sounds ever heard,
of your melodic voice that I do so love to hear
which makes me hang upon your every word.

The grassy path and wide meadowed lane
that beckon for one to rest and stay awhile,
of your open mind and how you will explain
any thought or plan with such a loving smile.

I stop and gaze upon a rose with delight,
with red velvet petals so smooth and red
and think yet of another wondrous sight
as memories of our love do fill my head.

All this beauty that nature has set in place
to woo the eye and make feel more at ease,
pale so when I think about your lovely face
and how you try so much to only me please.

Yes I am smitten and happily do I surrender
to such love as you do truly now endeavor
and I can only hope that is a never-ender,
I without fear give to you my heart forever.

If both of us commit and try the other to please,
stay strong and prove this is not just a lark,
then even when life has us in a tight squeeze
it will be as they do say, "a walk in the park".

----------------------------------------------------------

Christmas is over for one yet another year.
The time of celebration, family, and cheer
has passed again into a cherished memory.
Watch as family goes back where they live,
all the wishing so much more time to give.

A time to look back, inward, and far ahead
at what we have in life and what we said.
Are we truly the person that we wish to be?
Or are there changes that we need to make,
not just for others, but also for our own sake?

It all passes rapidly or so it truly does seem,
life feels more like it has been a long dream.
We have not accomplished all we set out to do,
but have done many things we never thought,
and are left here wondering "So now what?"

We know what will happen is what has to be,
pressures of living take a toll on you and me,
hopefully there will be time for some fun too.
All of plans it does seem are often for naught,
fate intervenes, this lesson has life surely taught.

So as you continue with life in work or in leisure
remember those people that bring you pleasure,
hold them all dear and their memory so treasure.
For what you can buy has never been a measure
of a person's life, love is the measure and treasure.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Do not lay me aside or dare cast my heart away,
like I were a plaything that you tire of in a day.
Hold me ever so tight and keep my heart close to you,
I will give attentions and a love that is so true.

I seek not your everything just what you will give
and will be perfectly happy, as this life we live,
but if you should decide in time to give to me your all,
you will see I do not falter, I will never fall.

I ask only to be with you, please you happily
and I hope that in return you will do the same to me.
I want to give you all the things that you so desire
and speak tender loving words that set your heart on fire.

To lift my true Angel back up to the heavens above
and to always show you the true extent of my love.
If sadly though through time we find that your love has died
at least we will always know that we have truly tried.

So even if to some a reckless thing it may seem,
come along and take my hand and share with me this dream,
for only dreamers ever dare risk to reach the sky,
and I know that together we shall forever fly.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Come my precious Love and walk with me hand in hand,
we'll stroll beside the massive sea playing in the sand.
Living our lives together as one entity and
it is as one that in this life we will make a stand.

Let us escape from this greedy world of push and shove.
Let us feast upon the fruits provided by our love
and dine upon the the coconut from the trees above
and till the fertile soil to enjoy the fruits thereof.

We will bathe within the warm clear waters of the sea
and frolic in the joy of the others company.
Leaving behind a troubled world to at last to be free
and I will bask in the warmth and beauty that is thee.

Let us build our house of sweet love high upon a hill
and place the light of our love there on the window sill,
to live there our lives away without a tear to spill,
protecting each from the pain and sharing all the thrill.

Come my most precious love and let us make history,
as we live our life away in love and harmony
and set forth an example for all the world to see,
may they find a way to be as loved as you and me.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I have been told that I will burn in Hell
because I am not so sure it even exists.
I have been told that I will to heaven go
cause I am a good man with pure soul.
Either way the nagging in me still persist
and the reasons why I am here to tell.

I keep hoping that there is a God above
and that he will judge all those that live.
For if not what a shame for those dead
that died for words others say he said,
those who did their precious life give,
and did it in the name Him and his love.

Even if it means those that say I will burn
are right, this price I then will eternally pay
to know that that justice will be then served,
that the malicious got what they deserved.
That through death they did not get away,
and they will be paid back in kind in turn.

All those hypocrites that church attend
and rob others with price gouging ploys.
All who prey on others for profit or fun
will be paid back when their life is done.
All those who beat or rape girls and boys
or any others who upon them do depend.

If those that abuse their power in any way
and take advantage of those that are down
will have to atone for their actions then,
and it means that I too, for my great sin
of not knowing for sure, in torment will drown
to know they are there, it is a price I will pay.

----------------------------------------------------------

We are getting Sugar Snow today
the kind that is all big and puffy.
Flakes as big as ping pong balls
that stick to everything, even walls
they look like falling down so fluffy,
the kind that rarely seems to stay.

It does not come as a little flake,
rather as some orb of white snow.
As if it was assembled in a rush
in some project so very hush hush.
Did not know which way to grow
nobody there to decisions make.

What a wondrous sight to see,
a lovely gift falling from the skies,
momentary delight for one and all
who are caught there in it's fall.
A work of art for our cynical eyes,
a gift of childhood for you and me.

As it lands on your face and nose,
it melts so rapidly and then is gone.
As if it was an illusion so grand,
a slight trick of Gods great hand.
One of the tricks that he carries on
for reasons that only he truly knows.

It disappears with a sort of feel,
like a bubble bursting on you,
that leaves a wet spot behind,
so you can convince your mind
that what you saw is very true
and it was indeed really real.

Such little things in life appear
to make us feel much more alive,
if we will take the time to enjoy
and be once again a girl or boy,
forgetting things for which we strive,
for just a moment enjoy the here.

I am going out to play in the snow
and hope that you will soon join me
and we can laugh among these gifts
as they our sagging spirit surely lifts.
May through this life you always see,
the wonders that some will never know.

Notice the little surprises it does hold
and share them with everyone near,
make your life a joy as well as theirs.
No scheming plans or putting on airs.
Show them that they are so very dear
and it will come back to you ten fold

----------------------------------------------

In my youth I was a wayward soul
going where ever I did choose to go.
I have traveled this world full around
and there are certain 'truths' I found.

As I get older and upon this did reflect
a certain condensing pattern I did detect.
So before this life of mine is through
It is my wish to pass this on to you.

Each person is the hero in their life
as they endure the pain and strife.
When they their own story has told,
see themselves as suffering and bold.

All are very familiar with their own pain
which they must endure like pelting rain.
This sometimes make it hard to see
that other suffer more and needlessly.

Once I had a man hardily complain
about how his day had been a pain.
He had to sit and wait for long hours
to meet others in their ivory towers.

Nobody had to suffer more than he
in boredom waiting there impatiently.
In his mind this was what was real,
only his suffering could he then feel.

Yet out in the freezing rain that day,
I and others did slave our lives away.
Cold and miserable with muscles sore
until we just could not take any more.

Remember as you endure life's curse
that somebody else has got it worse
and this is true for every person here
except for one poor soul, I do fear.

There are others, if you look around
that are beaten to the very ground,
that would love to have had your day.
That knowledge may help your way.

----------------------------------------------------

She stands alone upon the edge of the abyss
and gazes into it wondering what it does hold.
Will it the peace of death like some have told,
will eternal Hell be her reward if she does this.

She raises her head,glances toward the sky,
sees a shooting star pass there high above.
The irony of it all that there is a sign of love,
she shakes her head and ask herself "why?"

Looking straight ahead into the dark of night,
she sees one more time,that that angelic face,
that of the Devil that was the cause of disgrace,
she steels her nerves and readies for the flight.

She bends her knees, starts to push into the air,
but the rocks give way, there under her small feet,
she finds herself falling before her jump is complete.
In the black of night in the abyss and without a care.

Would she have done it or would she back away?
Many may wonder and none will ever know for sure,
for she had been a loving girl with a heart so pure,
making it impossible for anyone to for sure say.

Some will say that God did reach down and intervene,
to save this angel from the Devil's eternal, hellish grip.
others will say she made her choice despite the slip
and the truth may indeed lie somewhere in between.

Yes, I know the rhyme changes here. It was done to show it is "my" thoughts on what happened.

I am here to give you answers for I admit I do not know.
It seems a tragic thing to me that she should hurt so
she thought that death itself was a better place to go.
The truth, only God and the Devil (her father) will ever know.

I hope it was the God saving her the there in the end
for she had lived abused an without a single friend
one she should have trusted betrayed her in the end.
I hope he took her away eternity in heaven to spend.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Oh perfect angel, surely sent from above,
let me forever sail upon your sea of love,
for it is only there, I feel I am truly free.
Let me bathe within your reflective glow
as through this life we do happily go.

Within your amazing warmth let me be,
as I commit my ship to your loving sea.
Let me prove that you are all I do need,
all I will ever want and so much more,
you make whole as nothing has before.

Let me stay with you always, I do plead'
and I will prove my love in word and deed'
Into your wet warm waters let me dive
and your pleasures freely give unto me,
for I will give back my all and so happily.

Let me tend to what you need to survive
and give what you want to feel truly alive.
Let me take care of you wants and desire
while your sweet love lifts me ever higher
and ignite the that sea into a lasting fire.

------------------------------------------------------

There once was a man who was brutally robbed,
It broke his heart so that he just sat and sobbed.
Decided then that he would be a victim no more,
So he went out and got a hardened steel door.

He got heavy steel bars for every window there
and mounted them all with great zeal and care.
He built his walls so none could come through
and bought an alarm just in case they tried to.

With his fortress completed he relaxed within
finally safe from the whole world and all it's sin.
One day his brother came over for a short stay,
to catch up on old times and visit for the day.

He brought his son who was seven years old,
who listened well as about the security he told,
proud of all he had accomplished and bought,
then he asked his young nephew what he thought.

He looked up at his Uncle and hesitantly said,
"You have to stay here in prison until you are dead?"
The thought of it was making his nephew so sad
and he thought that maybe his Uncle was bad.

It was right then that he could suddenly see
the simple wisdom of children and how it can be.
Any stalwart fortress built to shield and protect
is also a prison for it makes it easy life to neglect.

As is true of your house so it is with your heart,
overly protected it serves also to keep you apart.
So protect your heart some as the is bad about,
but always be willing to let your love come on out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

If words could do as they sometimes say,
I would send them  to steal your heart away.
Surely with one such as you for my muse,
to inspire my heart and help form my views,
I could of write of love like none have before;
silver words showing love and so much more.

Like Cyrano I would write such lovely prose
that were as beautiful as a dew laden rose
and send them out over the countless miles
to cause you longing and contended smiles.
Sweet songs surely would off my tongue roll,
professing your beauty both body and soul.

However words can never steal a lady's heart,
true words can show intent and that is a start
to perhaps unlock that love held so reserved,
besides a stolen heart would never be deserved.
One thing I have learned during my years of livin',
Love can not be stolen, it must be freely given.

You will give it to whomever you think is fit,
I can only hope that they honor and cherish it.
Will you give it away to some sly pretty face,
constantly looking for another you to replace,
or perhaps to this brutish fellow standing here,
who loves so and would always hold you dear?

-------------------------------------------------------

I am sitting here alone upon my bed,
our big fight running through my head.
Remembering the cruel things you said,
they fill my heart with pain and dread.
Like some horrific novel I have read.
My innocence I have shown and pled,
anger it seems jealousy has bred.
Through your anger words were fed
and my loving heart they did shred
and with it's pieces you have fled,
as in anger away you quickly sped.
Look at where those words have led,
our love is hanging by a thread,
all from the one I wished to wed.
God I wish that I were dead.

---------------------------------------------------

I carry a wallet picture with me
because I love you so very dear,
it shows how proud I am of you.
I always want to keep you near.
I have it for all the world to see

A picture sets on the night stand,
the last thing at night that I do see,
and when my dreams are through,
it's there in the morning to greet me.
There is always one close at hand.

An eight by ten the mantle does grace.
One from a camping trip that we went on,
gorgeous in jeans and that old shirt too,
cooking breakfast at the crack of dawn.
Sitting just above the burning fireplace.

The living room has a portrait there,
hanging over by the doorbell chimes,
from when you were my bride to be.
My love you is so that there are times
I sit for long hours and lovingly stare.

A snapshot posted on the fridge door
of you and the children one fine day
a snowy day, so bad it was hard to see,
you bundled them up, went out to play.
That is a special one I will always adore.

None of them come close, you see,
to the beauty that I see constantly,
while you share this life with me.
I shall carry this image endlessly
in my mind for me to always see.


Okay, so some like happy, others prefer sad. Here is one that you can select the last stanza you like and as Burger King says"Have it your way".lol.



They are all just pictures, nothing more.
Nothing will ever be like it had been before.
I love you still, right down to the very core.
My beating heart from my chest you tore,
when I found that you are a cheating whore.

----------------------------------------------------------

I see you you looking at me as I sit here,
it seems to cause you some sort of fear.
I am different from you, it is so very true,
but there indeed is no-one just like you.

I beg "Oh come and sit here for a while
bless my day with your grace and smile.
Let's talk of life and where we have been
the horrors and the beauty we have seen.

We will tell stories of the glorious sunrise,
let me see the emotion there in your eyes.
Watching your eyes respond I will know too,
that you know what I say is poignant and true.

Let us talk of religion, politics, and even war
and be open with the other like none before.
We can speak of honor and doing what is right,
we can speak of sweet love and talk all night.

If there is more we have that we want to say,
we'll make plans to do it again another day,
nobody has a way of knowing, but in the end
it might please you to call me a dear friend."

----------------------------------------------------------

Oh great stallion upon the plain,
what a truly awe inspiring steed.
From the earth with sun and rain,
he seems to fill his every need.

His freedom begs,it in fact taunts
as he runs loose without a care.
He does whatever he truly wants
no matter when or even where.

He runs upon the mesas high,
or in the dry valleys far below.
Spirit of the wind, son of the sky,
he is it seems, always on the go.

What pushes him in eternal flight?
Moving during the rain and snow,
it haunts even his restless night,
buried deep, there in his very soul.

Soon his roaming will be done
this stallion,noble and so great
can at last enjoy the warm sun,
for he has finally found his mate.

All of us, like that majestic steed,
has that longing in our half-heart
Searching to fill that driving need,
until at last we find our other part.

Oh Angel heart, my lovely star
I stand in admiration for thee
not because of what you are,
but that which you make of me.

-----------------------------------------

If I could write a sonnet of your fair form and grace
and let others truly know how I feel when I see your face,
to tell the whole world of your virtues, of your grace and charms
and speaking of my lasting desire to be there in your arms,
sing to the world of you dear lady, how you are so fine,
would it indeed steal your heart away and then make it mine
or would you give it freely for these things you so desire,
would it blow the spark of interest into raging fire?

If I could write a poem that would truly make you melt,
that told of your beauty and the feelings I have felt,
write it all down in a truly sweet mesmerizing rhyme,
one that would be constantly repeated from now throughout time.
Would it make you love me to know that this is how I feel,
would it win your heart for me and then, with a kiss it seal.
Would you then want so to be with me always by my side
would I be the central source of your great joy and pride?

Then I think that there is something you should know from the start,
and I mean no form of disrespect to the poet's art.
If these things do have so much effect, look into your heart,
surely it must be a shifting thing of which I want no part.
If this could indeed be enough to rest your heart from you,
then surely there are others around that could do it too.
No, I am looking for a love that will be forever true
and stand the test of time regardless of what others do.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish that I could believe the things you say are true,
that I could swoon for your lines like all the others do,
then I could truly be the happiest one on earth,
and think that you are the very reason for my birth.

I could without reservation give my heart and soul,
let my emotions run wild and free out of control,
let every moment be full of the wonder of you,
all these things I would do if I thought them to be true.

With you I think however that it is just a flirt,
to believe it would just lead my heart to awful hurt,
I must control my emotions careful what I feel,
for if the flirts are false the pain would still be for real.

I wish truly to believe especially from you,
just my heart is tender after all it has been through.
I do so hope that time and perhaps a deed or two
will prove these words you speak to me are meant and so true.

For that would bring the pleasures that love is meant to bring
and it would surely let my heart once more dance and sing
and then this happy heart I would gladly give to you
if I could only know for sure that these words were true.

Change-------------------------------------------------------------

When first we met you said to me that you so loved me,
making such a wonderful pair and so naturally.
You told me then I was perfect and wouldn't change a thing.
With this in mind, we grew closer and I gave you my ring.
Then you started complaining of little things that were wrong,
my hair was long, I weighed to much, I needed to be strong.

I changed these things gladly to try to so please you,
the more I did the more you wanted for me to still yet do
I lost some weight and gained it back at your desire and whim,
seemed that I was always to fat or else I was too slim.
I was never spontaneous and all I said seemed wrong,
once again I somehow summoned up the strength to be strong.

Then you changed the way I dressed and had me grow a beard
I did it all to please you though it felt so strange and weird.
You didn't like the same job that I had forever had
and you wanted to stop the things I had done since a lad.
Then you hated the dart team to which I did belong,
and for your love I still remained pliable and yet strong.

So it is that you come to me and say that we are through
You say I've changed, I am not the man that you once knew
Well know it's true that I am not, I am the man you made,
know you have bent and molded me,now I don't make the grade?
The lesson here, that I should have refused to change all along.
In retrospect I guess that I should have been more strong.

I merely wished to please you dear and to make you so proud,
but all of this was in such vain,you have broken what you vowed.
I am left here to attempt to recreate who I am,
If one says change, I'll let them know that I don't give a damn.
It is a shame that others pay for being strung along,
I know for this broken heart's sake, I must be more than strong.

---------------------------------------------------------

There is no denying that I know your heart,
I have seen it broke and rudely torn apart.
I have watched and silently I held my tears
and tried so hard to alleviate your fears.

I have been right there for you through all your life,
and have watched your struggles and all of your strife.
I held my feelings and yours I did assume,
to make sure that you, troubles did not consume.

I feel your great pain and suffer with your grief
and do what I can to give aid and relief.
I laugh when you are happy with a new love,
I am always there when push comes to shove.

I feel your sadness before you feel it start
and I do all I can to protect your heart.
Your joy brings me pain just like it has before,
but to know your sorrow hurts me even more.

You don't see that I am always loving you
with all my heart as none of them seem to do
yet I do know that until the bitter end
you will let me be no more than your best friend.

Writer's block--------------------------------------

I sit staring at the big empty white page.

My mind racing in an almost blind rage,
wondering what is it that I should write,
can I find the words to make it sound right?
Should I write of love or maybe of despair,
perhaps of some beauty beyond compare,
maybe a bit about the most unbearable pain,
or being so happy that you dance in the rain?
A lovely sunset or perhaps a hopeful sunrise,
about an old sage who is humble and wise,
the face of a baby with drool on it's chin,
or a terrible secret kept hid deep within?
why does my mind not settle or choose
seems an endless battle that I will loose
mysteries of my mind even I can't unlock
Why am I suffering from this writer's block,
have I been here a moment or a whole age?

I sit staring at the big empty white page.

Walls---------------------------------------------------

I am just another woman's trash it seems,
but you say I am the answer to your dreams.
You want me to open up and let you in,
to let it slip away would be such a sin.
I am trying hard to tear down these walls now,
even though I built them, I am not sure how.
It took so many years to build them this high
and it may years regardless how I try.

I know it is not right that you have to pay
for the crimes of the one that made me this way.
There is a problem I am not sure you see,
for all these things you say,she once said to me
and I fear that it will take some proof and time,
to get this heart broke again would be a crime.
I want you to stroll about, see what is real,
look in every corner,know how I feel.

I want it to be an open honest love,
the kind I hear is sent down from up above,
but she has trained me well to never believe
and took the key to these walls when she did leave.
So I am trying as hard as I truly can,
in endless hopes that you really want this man,
because then together we will make our stand
to face the uncertain future hand in hand.
I can only hope that patient you will be
and when all is finished, you will still want me?

Questions Asked-----------------------------------------------------

What is it about you that makes me want to just stare,
to forget etiquette and do it with out a care?
What makes me wish so to spend all of my time with you,
makes me cling on every word knowing they are true?
What makes my eyes blind when another girl passes by,
that makes me more gentlemanly though I do not try?

Why does it seem that you are constantly on my mind,
regardless what I am thinking it is you I find?
Why is it my heart races each time that you see,
and while I am your captive still I feel very free?
Why is it that you make think about tomorrow,
and always wish to never cause you pain or sorrow?

Who would have thought that this would ever happen to me?
What is this feeling that I feel racing over me?
Where is it that all of these emotions are leading me?
Why am I so lonely when near you I can not be?
When was it that this feeling came rolling up on me?
How am I suppose to think when you are all I see?

I fear there is another question to answer too,
the most important of all, "Am I in love with you?"

-------------------------------------------------------

Life it seems passes in stages'
it ebbs and flows with our ages.
All we can do is the best we can
to live with honor and be a man.
I have never been afraid of death
not since I drew my first breath.

Knew I would die by twenty five,
thirty years later and I am still alive.
In one way indeed I died back then,
creating a new me from deep within.
That was when I quit my warrior days,
starting what I call my living phase.

No more to roam without a care,
going places where none would dare.
To settle down and live a real life
with my loving children and my wife.
No more to see those exotic ports
or storm the walls of foreign forts.

Instead to stay and work the earth
and witness the miracle that is birth.
That stage too passed on one day,
it left as they aged and moved away.
The poet I now find myself to be
with songs and love inside of me.

With only the sage left to reach,
one where I can advise and teach.
Then my life will have been run,
my work here on earth shall be done.
I wonder if when it all is left behind,
if history will to me be cruel or kind.

I have been battered and scarred,
spirit and body both badly marred,
but I have done the best that I could do
to leave this a better world for you.
Still when this Marine has passed away
I wonder what will history have to say.

-----------------------------------------------------

She was short and fat and old,
big boobs that hung down low,
gray hair that was thinning too.
Wrinkled skin and feet of crow,
Most beautiful lady I could behold.

Grandma Ellis was all of this.
She was the meaning of "love",
every definition of it she was true,
what a gift from heaven up above,
enjoying life and spreading bliss.

Her kids numbered twenty one,
but she did not stop right there,
she took in stragglers like me,
gave them her ever loving care,
clean up until her life was done.

With food, wisdom, love and a kiss,
she taught what we had not known.
Part of her in my heart will always be,
for the kindness that she has shown
and for me a source of love and bliss.

I wish the world would have known her
like I had the pleasure of back then,
to feel the warmth of her accepting love,
changes the person you are deep within,
makes you show it to every Mam and Sir.

She has returned home, to heaven above,
leaving behind a memory of undying love,
the kind that most can only dream of,
it keeps me warm,protecting like a glove
in this cold, cruel world of push and shove.
--------------------------------------------------------
I can still taste the splattered blood,
that drenched my face upon that day.
It was mortal combat I found myself in.
There was nowhere to run to get away
as another blow landed with a thud.

I strike back wildly,trying to survive.
I can not see where my blows land
the blood,my eyes have blinded then.
Another crushing blow from his hand,
I check and find that I am still alive.

I must battle or I will die and so I do.
Praying for help or mercy from God
as the next blow my ribs do break,
but he sends not even a slight nod,
and I feel my life is nearly through.

I survive and remember it once more,
my life's blood splattered everywhere.
Me begging for help for heavens sake.
Tell me Dad, did you think it was fair,
to almost beat to death a child of four.

I wish to lay beside you and gaze up at the stars
and perhaps watch the alignment of Venus and Mars,
lay there upon a blanket on a warm summer's eve
and with you tightly in my arms, swear to never leave.

I wish to walk beside you upon a sandy beach
and look ahead to the future we have yet to reach,
to stroll along with you, holding your sweet hand in mine
as we splash away the whole day in the salty brine.

I wish to grow old with you and see your hair turn gray
having proved that through it all I would forever stay,
to talk about our life and the pleasures we have known,
amazed at how through it all our love has only grown.

I wish to see you slowly walk down a wide church aisle
and then to lift your veil to kiss you and see your smile
to spend every precious moment of this dear life
being together, "Will you consent to be my wife?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You tell me of your problem, but do not help, you ask;
how do you expect one cares to do such a task?
You do not want solutions, just for me to listen,
that is like telling snow to fall but it can't glisten.

I am a problem solver and have been all my life,
how can I not do the same for my dear loving wife?
I tie my tongue in a knot and open wide my ears,
my mind turning out solutions for all that it hears.

I know you're a smart lady, that's part of your appeal
and I know that with this, you will find a way to deal.
It is only that I wish very much to help you
with everything that life forces you to go through.

It is just that after all the speeches about "we"
and how my problems do not just belong to me,
this does not seem to fit well with all that you have said,
the wondering why is also pounding in my head.

I am a creature of logic and linear thought
and my mind races to find the solution it's sought.
So if my every problem is your problem too
why am I now expected to not try to help you?

You want me to just console and with compassion stare,
you say that doing this, you will know I truly care?
I can not help but wonder just what you would do
if I said I don't want your help with with what I go through?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I watch as the dim lit sun climbs high in the dark gray sky
and it appears to be a negative of your lying eye.
Your eyes are the crowning glory to your cheaters great disguise,
so very good at hiding what you feel and all of your lies.

Your exquisite beauty, divine form, and long flowing hair,
melts a man's loving heart and leaves him completely unaware,
you seduce him with your beautiful face and wondrous smile,
like a Black Widow wrapped in the elegance of grace and style.

On the outside you are the answer to every man's dreams,
on the inside there is a dark pit filled with such evil schemes.
A place where poisonous snakes and spiders fear to even tread
and it is hiding in there, where you should have heart instead.

Your actions make even a psychopath seem much more the norm,
as if you were created in the heavenly angels form,
chose to abandon the sanctuary of the golden tower,
then seduced the devil and stole all his evil power.

You patiently seduce men to cheat on even faithful wives,
then unleash your evil torrent destroying all of their lives,
leaving misery and mass destruction there within your wake,
Stealing away their love, faith , and trust; anything you can take.


You lie, you cheat, and  vulnerable hearts of men you steal
and not one pang of guilt or remorse do you ever feel.
Deep down I wonder if you would even hesitate to kill,
how can such evil be so beautiful and yet be real?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw an angel today, it was not what I expected,
I had read about them before in sources well respected.
This was not like they said so it really took me by surprise,
it was not like the books say when they describe or advertise.

I was not looking for one and I did not expect to see
an exquisite angel suddenly appear in front of me.
In a place I had looked before so it never crossed my mind
that this time a wondrous miracle I was about to find.

Such a beautiful sight to see, it causes one to quake
and leaves one with a grand feeling that they never wish to shake.
It was indeed a gorgeous angel of untold charm and grace
right there before my very eyes when I looked upon your face.

How could I have been so foolish, how could have been so blind?
What on earth was so important that it could distract my mind?
Now that I have finally noticed it is so plain to see,
how could I have not noticed an angel right in front of me?

Now that I can see how special you are what am I to do?
How can a mere mortal ever truly hope to be with you?
Do I confess to you and throw myself upon your sweet grace
or sit mesmerized, like I am doing, by your lovely face?
------------------------------------------------------------
I am not my mother, nor will I ever be,
but it is amazing that she's so much like me.
I notice she does little things that I will do,
like the way I hum happy songs the whole day through;
it is kind of funny but also rather sad,
but she has always done this, according to Dad

I respect and love Mother and have all my life,
she is a great example of mother and a wife.
Like me she hangs shirts by the tail out on the line,
when everybody says, "By the collars fine."
It's kind of a good thing, I am sure it's not bad;
she has always done this, according to Dad.

The question that I have to ask is "Why would she
start to act so much like me and so suddenly?"
Perhaps she wants me to know that it is okay
that I do these things in a particular way.
But if I were like Mother, would that be so bad?
She is the perfect woman, according to dad.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is such an easy thing to do I do suppose,
it's almost natural when we dream upon a rose
to see the wondrous beauty and it's color clear,
to concentrate upon the things that make it so dear.
We overlook the little thing that we call the thorn,
even though it may well cause us to be stuck or torn.
Choosing to pay attention to that which we desire,
even though the consequences may be rude and dire.

Perhaps this is why the rose symbolizes our love,
we look upon it as a gift sent from up above.
A wondrous thing we may have seen and have been told,
such a precious treasure that we wish to have and hold,
forgetting that with love there is always also pain,
thinking only how it lifts us to a higher plane.
The pain may be a subtle one like worry or fears
or be one so bad it can only be said with  tears.

For fear of the thorn do you not touch a gorgeous rose
and are you not still drawn to where this flower grows?
So why would you let the pain of love scare you away?
Handle it so carefully and with it do not play,
take care of it, nurture it like the rose you would do
and what a beautiful gift it will be for you
and brighten your life as nothing else has done before
and the small pain it brings will not matter anymore.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
To have but a single kiss from thee,
what a treasure that would indeed be.
A kiss yes, but it would mean much more,
than any kiss I have had before.

It would mean that you are here,my dear,
and when just the thought that you are near
can cause this old heart to miss a beat,
and your mere sight is such a sweet treat.

To feel the touch of just your soft hand
is almost more than this heart can stand.
That one kiss would make my head reel,
releasing emotions that I feel.

It would mean your healing did begin,
perhaps you will learn to love again,
and that you thought I was worth a try,
trusting I won't abuse or good-bye.

The kiss could indeed say so much more,
meaning we were closer than before;
because at last it could be the start
of you letting me into your heart.

-------------------------------------------------

"Valentines a special day"-something I just don't see,
because everyday you are so special to me.
I do not require some special ordained holiday
to show the world that I am in love with you this way.

How could I ever show you more love on Valentine
when everyday with all my heart for you I pine?
Would it not have been a lie from the very start,
if each day I did not love you with all my heart?

I will give you pretty flowers, and some candy too,
there is not anything that I will not do for you;
but on this day I would like to do one special thing,
I would like to ask if you will wear my wedding ring.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I knew that you were a child of nature, it was plain to see,
I had no way of ever knowing how it would affect me.
Your golden hair is like a ripe wheat field blowing in the wind,
you have blue eyes like the ocean, seemingly without an end,
skin soft, smooth, and warm as a rose petal in the midday sun;
you are such a wondrous vision that any man it would stun.

Your smile is like the sunrise that is so full of hope and love,
it warms the heart as all are warmed by the sun far up above.
Your laughter is akin to the sweetest birds of early spring
that deliver hope and raise our spirits when their song they sing.
The twinkle in your eyes is like the glowing stars in the night,
filling one with wonderment as they stare with open delight.

Your touch is hot like the searing desert, almost bringing pain
and yet soft and all encompassing, like a warm summer rain.
Your kiss is like being immersed in a warm tropical sea,
it makes a such wondrous feeling come washing up over me.
Your form is exquisite as anything I have ever seen
from mountain top to valley and everything in between.

Your love is more beautiful than even nature does dare,
a heavenly gift sent down, I am hoping for me to share.
Your heart is like the great sun itself, providing me with life,
that is why I am asking now, if you will be my loving wife.
I know that you are a child of nature, it is easy to see,
and I am hoping now that you will spend all your days with me.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Hesitantly I had set myself to do the task,
successfully the die has been cast, the question ask.
My future hanging on the answer I could now hear,
it is not so much that it is something that I fear,
I think I know the answer, still I'm filled with dread
with wild emotions and some doubt running through my head.

Am I being crazy to think an angel like her
would love somebody like me instead of another?
How could I be so vain to such a grand thing hope for,
I know that she truly does deserve so much more.
Am I being selfish wanting to keep her with me
when perhaps some other might make her more happy?

What is that look upon her face, is it joy or fear?
What is the true meaning behind that one lone tear,
is it heartbreak from the answer she will give to me;
or joy from the thoughts of the future that will be?
Scared as I was the question I was able to ask,
waiting for her response is the hard part of the task.
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Let loose the noble eagle and let him spread his wings to fly,
free the mighty condor and let him take to the open sky,
uncap the majestic falcon and let him take to his wing,
even poor Icarus would not be able to do a thing,
to catch my enlightened heart as above the clouds it does soar;
you make my heart fly to heights not reached by mortal man before.

Look at the great composers, Mozart or perhaps even Bach,
get Pink Floyd or the Rolling Stones and let them make the place rock,
a group of great tenors joining in the famous Greensleeves song,
even with the world's best choirs there to help and sing along,
for never could a more beautiful sound they ever bring
than the pure melodic symphony that you make my heart sing!

You make my heart race wildly and fill me with loving desire.
You give me hope for tomorrow and lift me ever higher.
You make me so much more than I could ever hope be alone,
gentle as a butterfly yet hard as an igneous stone.
Truly you are a miracle sent to me from up above,
a living definition for the word we know as love.

Let me lay upon your soft lips a kiss so sublime,
one so very sensual that it will alter time
and leave us in this embrace forever so it seems,
to awaken desires and passions hid in your dreams.

Let me embrace you in my arms as true lovers do,
to show tender feelings in my heart inspired by you
and hold you so tightly but with such loving care,
spend that eternity with you safely held right there.

Let me softly whisper the sweetest of words to you,
not because you wish to hear, but cause they are true.
Words of love and eternal devotion for just thee
and let those words find a way into your heart for me.

Let me prove that love exist and it is with us now
and give you the courage to know we will last somehow
and in return I shall ask only one thing from you
I only ask that you do the same things for me too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really do hate myself, so much is wrong with me.
Why can't I just act the way that you want me to be?
I know you love me like any parents do their child,
do not know why I do these things to drive you wild.

I should be able to do the things that you desire,
except the times you tell me to, I am not a liar,
I would never tell them that I am such a beast,
that you must keep me locked away at the very least.

I should not run when you wish to do what parents do,
or wince when you beat me for crying when you are through.
I know that you do it with Mom 'cause you love her true,
and I really try so hard to make you love me to.

You say it is our secret and no one needs to know
that my future stepfather does really love me so.
I know there's nothing wrong with it,Mom would make you stop,
protect her little treasure or even call a cop.

So why do I still feel that it is so very wrong?
For the sake of Mommy I try so hard to be strong.
She says that soon you'll marry and be a family,
from then on that this how it is going to be.

Why do I feel like dying and for it often pray,
is it normal for six year old to feel this way?
Is it through these things that your love I get to see.
I really do hate myself, so much is wrong with me.

If you do not stop it you are helping support it
if you ever see sexual abuse report it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really do hate myself, so much is wrong with me.
Why can't I just act the way that you want me to be?
Why do I do those little things that make you so mad,
is it that I am dumb or in some way am I bad?

I try not to annoy you so but somehow always do,
then I keep on 'til you are mad before I am through.
I did not mean to drop your beer but somehow I did,
I know that I deserved that slap in front of the kid.

Supper was almost ready, the roast just took too long
you did not mean to hurt me, it is just that you're strong,
and when I walked in front of you during the big game,
I did deserve that beating and I still feel the shame.

Why is it that I seem to always rub the wrong way,
when I know that you are tired after a long day,
and when I said no to lovins that was a surprise,
I know you did not mean to blacken both of my eyes.

I will explain the broken ribs as falling down stairs,
it's not like the doctor or any one really cares.
I'm sure I can set my own broken arm once again,
no need to go the doctor just to stop the pain.

Sure got you mad when I wasn't home cause of a flat,
you beat me until at last you broke the baseball bat.
Why I keep on doing these things, I just can not see,
I really do hate myself, so much is wrong with me.

If you do not stop it you are helping support it,
if you ever see physical abuse report it.

I really do hate myself, there is much wrong with me,
why can't I just act the way that you want me to?
The world sees me as a quiet and confident man,
I'm one that knows where he is going and has a plan.

It is all one giant fabrication, a big lie.
Only you see the real me with a knowing eye,
I am not worth the clothes that am wearing today
and it is something that you are very quick to say.

I can not make enough money to get what you want,
it is just one thing that for me is a constant haunt.
You show me that I am not worth your time or your care,
most the time you don't even seem to know that I there.

I try my best to please you, but nothing ever works,
and I drive you crazy with my bad habits and quirks.
You even point out that I am very bad in bed,
even though I have all the books and do what they said.

Why do you even keep one worthless as me around?
You only walk on me like I am dirt on the ground.
I was always good at so many different things,
but every one of your words of loathing still stings.

I must be a good liar though to fool all I know,
you are always there to control my ego though,
reminding me I am as worthless as I can be.
I really do hate myself, there is so much wrong with me.

If you do not stop it you are helping support it,
if you ever see emotional abuse report it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You say that you have an unconditional love for me,
I am realistic and that is something I can't see,
it is not that I doubt that you believe these words are true.
I just do not think that you have thought it completely through.

What if I was to cheat on you with your very best friend
would that be enough to bring this claim of yours to an end?
If I were to berate you in front of those that we know
and did so at every chance, would you just let it go?

If I took to beating you up, every time I could,
would you suffer quietly, thinking "it is all good?"
If I insisted that you have sex with men for pay,
would you gladly do it for love or up and run away?

What if I was a pedophile and molested our child,
or insisted that we have them join in orgies so wild?
If I were to rape and kill your sister and your mother
would you still love me or run off to be with another?

You know that I could never ever do these things to you.
They are not in my nature and I do truly love you,
I am realistic enough to know it can be lost,
if certain things are done and certain lines are ever crossed.

Even God's great love has some sins that he will not forgive
I just want us to be honest as in this love we live
To always bear in mind how the other person might feel
if we want this love to last it must be so true and real.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tell me why you do it. Why treat me this way?
Is it that you hate me or some sick game you play
is it a test that you are putting me through,
one to see if I really am in love with you?

Is there something wrong with me and the things I do
or is it that there is something deeply wrong with you?
You say that you love me and will until you die,
then you turn around and hurt me, just to see me cry.

Is it that you need in some way to see my tears
as a way to know how much I care, to abate your fears,
or is it that you get some sick pleasure from my pain,
or for some reason push to see when I will complain.

I will confess that I really do not start to have a clue
of why you do all of these hurtful things that you do.
All I know for sure is that I love with a love so true
but if this continues then it will all be through.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am a man of honor, it means a lot to me,
to do the right thing seems to come so naturally.
So it never occurred to me to think about it,
when I would do the things in life that I had to do
and how it might be thought about by those like you.

One day my eldest daughter, who at the time was two,
put on my cowboy hat and boots and come strolling through.
As you can well imagine it was not a good fit,
she held the hat with both her hands just so she could see,
the boots came up so high they were well above her knee.

I marveled at the spectacle, a sight to behold,
I took her picture and everybody I have told.
As I retold this moment with glee and parent's pride,
I became aware of just what I it was that I saw,
as strong of an epiphany as I can recall.

I was setting the example, she would follow me,
watching and creating the person that she would be.
This caused me to examine what I am deep inside,
and to wonder how many others I might have changed
as through life I wondered and emotions I had ranged.

To know that someones example in this life is you,
that all you do and say may become part of them too,
reasserts that to honor I must always be true.
I take this simple knowledge and pass it now to you
and now that you have received it, just what will you do?
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They were throwing me a party with cake and ice cream
with all of the trimmings of which any kid could dream,
a lot of people bringing gifts that were just for me.
I was almost as happy as a person could be
I was turning six years old and quite a scrapping lad
and everyone was there that day, well except for Dad.

I signed up for little league and thought it would be fun.
I loved to hear the people cheer when I hit a run,
went all the way to the finals and I got to play.
I hit the winning run for the team upon that day,
they all called me a champion and I was very glad
everyone was there that day, well except for Dad.

When I graduated high school and got my degree,
they were all as proud of me as they could ever be.
All sit in that blazing sun and listened for my name,
knowing that after this my life would not be the same.
Some thought it was such a good thing, others found it sad
and everyone was there that day, well except for Dad.

I can not hold it against him the times he went away.
He told me once it was the price that he just had to pay.
I know he would love to have been there and all those thing seen,
but he had his duties as a United States Marine.
Be very thankful for the liberty that have you had,
for people do pay for it daily, just like my Dad.

I understand the life he chose and I follow it too
I now take his place in ranks and do what he use to do,
along with so many others who miss so many things
to make sure that you are safe and freedom's bell always rings.
I proudly do my duty but admit it makes me sad
to know my boy's at home with everyone but Dad.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, that I were able to slip into your dreams
and found that you had a heart that is so true.
I would settle in and unleash my loving schemes,
make myself part of your world this is what I'd do.

I would watch and learn your every heart's desire,
find out what makes you happy and what you want too
and then with everything I have I'd conspire
to give each and everyone of them to you.

Then perhaps in sweet your dreams you would let me stay
and when your dreams had all come true there is a chance
that then you would want me to never go away
and then in dreams and reality we would dance.

I would be your dream lover caring and true
and you would be my dream Angel sent from above.
We could share this sweet dream, together- me and you
and live our dream as one, eternally in love.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
If I could write a sonnet of your fair form and grace
and let others truly know how I feel when I see your face,
to tell the whole world of your virtues, of your grace and charms
and speaking of my lasting desire to be there in your arms,
sing to the world of you dear lady, how you are so fine,
would it indeed steal your heart away and then make it mine
or would you give it freely for these things you so desire,
would it blow the spark of interest into raging fire?

If I could write a poem that would truly make you melt,
that told of your beauty and the feelings I have felt,
write it all down in a truly sweet mesmerizing rhyme,
one that would be constantly repeated from now throughout time.
Would it make you love me to know that this is how I feel,
would it win your heart for me and then, with a kiss it seal.
Would you then want so to be with me always by my side
would I be the central source of your great joy and pride?

Then I think that there is something you should know from the start,
and I mean no form of disrespect to the poet's art.
If these things do have so much effect, look into your heart,
surely it must be a shifting thing of which I want no part.
If this could indeed be enough to wrest your heart from you,
then surely there are others around that could do it too.
No I am looking for a love that will be forever true
and stand the test of time regardless of what others do.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let me take you in my arms and hold you for a while,
let me gaze into your eyes and marvel at your smile,
to softly stroke your soft hair and your lovely soft face.
Let words of eternal love, me whisper in your ear,
words I ne'er thought I would say,that you so long to hear.

Take from me this gift of love, that I so freely give.
Take my heart and hold it tight, for as long as you live,
and I will for just as long, know I have found my place.
Take from me inspiration and reason to go on,
comfort in the dark of night and strength to greet the dawn.

Let us join together now and seal it with a  kiss,
so that together we'll know, the meaning of true bliss
and face this cruel world as one, ready for each new day.
Let us walk together then, holding each others hand,
as we stroll with each other on the beach of life's warm sand.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I look upon the poet as they make their rhyme
and I wonder if they are anything at all like me.
Loving the whole world but never being loved.
They put their heart in words for us all to see,
are they making a mark or just wasting time?

Do their words fall upon deaf uncaring ears
or do some take the time to stop and think?
In a hurried world where everyone is shoved
and most are obsessed with sex and drink
can people see him trying to dry the tears?

Do they sense the valiant effort that is made
to get them to feel anything but their own pain,
to help them to again open up their hurt heart
and learn from the words what it is to live again;
do think them an annoyance and let them fade?

The poet keeps on trying to get them all to see,
that a closed mind is useless as a  deep hole.
That everybody must be willing to do our part
and each of us is just a small part of the whole,
to realize that a better world is up to you and me.

All may ignore the poet and his message clear
and pay no mind to the words that you do hear,
may forget the path that they have tried to steer
and continue living your life in such pain and fear
but know that the poet always loves you so dear.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Gazing at the sight of newly fallen snow
there is so much beauty there one sees,
but I do wonder if any other passers by,
think about the snow that's in the trees,
it is just a thing I find that I want to know.

Look up at the snow resting in the trees
there just waiting, for the slightest breeze.

Did it tire from the long fall and take rest?
Perhaps it has paused to enjoy the view,
sitting there in that lofty perch up so high,
is it wanting to be with the other snow too
or content to watch, like a bird in a nest?

Look up at the snow resting in the trees
there just waiting, for the slightest breeze.

They seem to wait until the sun appears
and when the breeze picks up a little bit,
they fly into the air again to finish the fall,
to the earth once more they do softly flit,
landing with a cool sensation on our ears.

Look up at the snow resting in the trees
there just waiting, for the slightest breeze.

They sift down gently floating in the breeze
and reflect the sun like little diamonds do,
putting on too brief a show, for one and all.
I hope that I am not alone and that also you
appreciate the beauty of snow in the trees.

Look up at the snow resting in the trees
there just waiting, for the slightest breeze.
------------------------------------------------------------
You had said that you loved me so
and never from my side would go,
professed a love undying and true,
you wanted only what I give to you.

No demands and no ties you said
just your love until you were dead.
I found these words sweet to hear
and so relished them upon my ear.

One day you got so upset with me,
for I did not carve our names in a tree,
it was in a place where you never go,
that you wanted it, how was I to know?

With angry works you struck out at me
revealing it just a grand illusion to be.
Your words like a stiff breeze did blow,
from the stage all the smoke did go.

Leaving only mirrors there upon the stage,
casting aside what seemed real in a rage.
I look now into the mirrors as I turn to leave,
just the reflection of a fool who did believe.

I guess another painful lesson learned,
once more I had faith and again burned.
Why do I fool myself, believe what I see?
There is no such thing as love, not for me.