Men are in love with their penises. They place their hand outside their pants and grab it. They stuff their hand inside their pants and scratch it. And we all know they put their hands inside their pants, stroke it, and make sweet love to it. Their fondness for their penises is not surprising. After all, a penis is comprised of almost 4,000 nerve endings that give men the ultimate pleasure they seek. Plus, many others pay homage to the penis. Women talk about penis size regularly. Gay men adore penises to the maximum (you really have to love it to get it up the butt). And the media loves penises so much they’ve given it a variety of names. It’s no wonder men love their Johnson’s.
Because men worship there Pecker’s so much, they demand their Pecker’s be treated with adulation. If a man lies on a woman’s bed, she better unzip his pants, pull down his boxer/briefs, and go to town on his Wang. But don’t expect him to travel past your belly button to get closer to your Va-Jay Jay. Though your Kitty Cat is glorious enough for rough and rapid sex, it isn’t glorious enough for him to lick it. And you better not complain about the BAM, BAM, BAM, missy! You should thank God All Mighty that he inserted his Sausage into your Bun.
I’ve felt the BAM, BAM, BAM plenty of times, and have spent countless hours soothing my sore vagina. I’ve also had plenty of men just lay there. Their Willies poking out, seducing me with their one eye. But one man in particular has laid it out for me more than once, hoping I will one day fall in love with his Missile. Kurt. His mission began one evening while we slept in my twin-sized bed. He pulled my hand around his body and my body awakened. How sweet! He wants to cuddle! I thought. But that wasn’t what Kurt had in mind. He led my hand past his upper chest, his abdomen, his hips. My hand suddenly found itself over his Private and I immediately yanked my hand away. I then jumped out of bed and locked myself in the bathroom, enraged. That was no way to seduce a virgin!
A few years later, Kurt tried again. After a night of drinking and dancing, we passed out on my full-sized bed. I soon felt Kurt grab my hand and pull it over to him. I immediately knew what was coming and snatched my hand back before getting in contact with his Johnson.
Kurt’s game of “Love My Penis” didn’t stop there. And after having my epiphany I realized I wanted to love his Pecker just as much as he did. So I took initiative and called Kurt.
“When are you going to be around?” I asked as soon as he answered.
“You’re finally coming to visit?” he asked, surprised.
“Yeah…I can in two weeks,” I replied. I felt bolder by the minute.
“I wont be here,” he replied. “But what about next?”
“The long weekend? I’m going to Miami,” I said.
“I’m going to Miami the long weekend too. We’ll chill in Miami…you can visit me another weekend.”
A few weeks later, I was in sunny Miami, getting picked up by Kurt at my friend Celeste’s condo. We went to Target to pick out a curtain for his new bathroom. We drove through Little Haiti, trying to find his friend who was dancing his heart away at Salsa school. We stood outside admiring the view of the inter-coastal and the city. It was all very un-Kurt like. But when we returned from the lounge, he reverted back to Kurt.
“Are you going to drive me back?” I asked while stepping into the apartment.
“Right after I take a nap,” he said before lying on the couch.
“What am I supposed to do while you nap?” I asked.
“Just lay down.”
I lay on his chest and contemplated my next move. But soon enough, Kurt grabbed my hand and put it over his crotch.
“What are you doing?” I asked, emboldened.
“That’s a way to keep me up,” he replied, half-asleep.
“Well then I guess your staying asleep."
Kurt said nothing. I lay there, wishing I could tell him why I couldn’t give his Wang any love. I wouldn't have a problem working his Willie into a sweat, but I needed him to love my mouth, my neck, my breast, first. I needed him to put his hands down my pants for a change. After all, I’m in love with my clitoris even more than he’s in love with his penis. Because my clitoris is comprised of almost 5,000 nerve endings that give me the ultimate pleasure I seek.
