What does it mean when i take the knife and put it to my wrist and watch the blood flow down my hand.Is it that I am depressed or that I dont want to live anymore. Is it that under the pressure of trying to be the perfect daughter or friend or student or just the perfect person that I broke down. Is it that no matter how much I try I know that my father will always hate me. Is it that I cant stand being away from the one I love. Is it that no matter what I do I cry myself to sleep every night or is it that every time that I get close enough to a person that i think i want to spend the rest of my life with something gets fucked up. Or is it that I know that I will never be who i was seven years ago. Is it because I cant change what I have done in the past. Has the memories caught up with me and taken over. Is it that I cant look into his eyes and tell him that I love him. I dont know so I cant say that it is just one thing maybe it is not me but this fucked up world we live in or some of the fucked up people in this world. But I know if this is hell i will be somewhere better when i die because it cant get any worse than this hell. Tiffany Shrewsberry