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GUYWHODONTGIVEAFK's blog: "shockwave"

created on 12/26/2008  |  http://fubar.com/shockwave/b267829

dj

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9/11

http://www.9news.com/news/article/218454/188/A-911-story-of-uncommon-courage

kegs and legs

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<p><span style="font-size: 24pt;"><strong><span style="font-family: bradley hand itc; color: red; font-size: x-large;">COME PARTY WITH THE US AT THE HOTTIEST LOUNGE ON FU GREAT TUNES GREAT PEOPLE THE SEXIEST OWNER JUST JENNA</span></strong></span></p>

last alarm

“The Last Alarm”

My father was a fireman; he drove a big red truck

And when he'd go to work each day he'd say "Mother, wish me luck"

Then dad would not come home again until sometime the next day

But the thing that bothered me the most was the things some folks would say

"A fireman's life is easy, he eats and sleeps and plays, and sometimes he won't fight a fire for many, many days"

When I first heard these words I was too young to understand

But I knew when people had trouble Dad was there to lend a hand

Then my father went to work one day and kissed us all goodbye, but little did we realize, that night we all would cry

My father lost his life that night when the floor gave way below

And I wondered why he'd risked his life for someone he did not know

But now I truly realize the greatest gift a man can give is to lay his life upon the line so that someone else might live

So as we go from day to day and pray to God above
Say a prayer for your local firefighter

They may save the ones you love

Author: Unknown

“Brotherhood Strong”

THIS IS BRILLIANT!! LOL

Dear Wife, 
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. 

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! 
Read the wife's reply by clicking the link..

 

 

Dear Ex-Husband 
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. 

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! 

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem

face lift

8:52pm
A middle aged blonde lady goes to her cosmetic surgeon to see what her options are concerning her rapidly sagging face. “We can give you an old-fashioned face-lift”, he says, “or we can use a new high-tech procedure called ‘The Knob’”. “What’s ‘The Knob”, Doctor?”, she asks. He replies, “It’s procedure where we install a knob under your hair on the back of your head We then connect it to the facial muscles which sag, and whenever you start to notice any new wrinkles and sagging, just tighten the knob a few turns and your skin will be nice and tight again.” “Oh, YES, doctor! That is exactly what I would like to have”, she says excitedly. The operation is a complete success and she looks 15 years younger. As time passes, whenever she notices any new sagging, she simply tightens the knob and VOILA! Her face is again beautiful. One day about 8 years later she wakes up one morning and sees two very large bags under her eyes. Alarmed, she calls her doctor and reports the bags. “Come down to my office right away and let me check it out!” the doctor tells her. After examining her, he says, “You’ve been tightening the knob WAY too much!!! Those bags under your eyes are your breasts”. The lady sighs and says, “Well! I guess that explains the goatee!”

SHOCKWAVE 11 23 09

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343 bully


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