Country22882's blog: "Shit happens"

1. Scientific tests find that when women make love, they produce double amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny and skin smooth. 2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. 3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner. 4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscles in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps and you don’t need special sneakers! 5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. 6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy! 7. Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than Valium. 8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up. 9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restrict blood vessels in the brain. 10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. 11. We are animals, so ever watch animals? They're always humping!

Taoism: Shit happens Confucionism: Confucius says: "Shit happens" Buddhism: If shit happens, it isnt really shit Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit has happened before Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us? Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesnt really exist Solipsism: Shit happens because I wish it Mysticism: Just experience shit happening Asceticism: If shit happens, renounce it Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but wont tell you Atheism: Shit just happens and thats all there is to it Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere Stoicism: I dont care if shit happens Epicureanism: Lets party while shit doesnt happen Cynicism: Of course shit happens Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say Pollyanism: Its so nice that shit happens! Puritanism: S*** can happen all day as long as you dont call it that Behaviorism: You are conditioned to having shit happen Freudianism: If shit happens, its your mothers fault Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks Cubism: If shit happens, you wont recognize it Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently Optimism: If shit happens, well find a way to use it Pessimism: If shit happens, there wont be enough for everybody Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit Scientific Reductionism: If shit happens, find out what kind exactly Scientific Obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases Bureaucracy: I dont care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen Ecology: If organic shit happens, its OK Capitalism: Lets profit from shit happening Socialism: If shit happens, lets distribute it equally Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit Conservatism: They dont make even shit happen like they used to Liberalism: Shit shouldnt happen tomorrow Classical Physics: Shit does not happen, it just moves around Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you cant say both where and when Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once Microcomputing: If shit happens, well fix it in the next version Computer Science: All shit can in principle happen on a Turing Machine Applied Mathematics: The probabity of shit happening approaches unity Engineering: When shit happens, paint over Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning Economics: Shit happens because theres a great demand for it Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it Diplomacy: Lets pretend shit doesnt happen