Though I don't have the courage to overcome my sense of vulnerability about
opening the door to someone new, it doesn't mean that I don't know about love!
I know that true love compliments and completes a persons whole being. When
we choose to love someone, the whole world is seen in a different way! Our
very soul is changed, and we pray that those changes are in good ways. Our
very human nature needs companionship, a shoulder, a understanding and
compassionate voice. We need to know that at the worst of times in our life,
that we are not alone.
We need to not only believe, but see, feel and hear from that special someone
every day that we are needed and appreciated. Not so much through words,
because words come easy to a person, especially the unfaithful ones! What is
more valued to a heart, and mind, is that come and get me look. A look that
whispers spoil my body, send those shivers up and down my spine that I
adore. Share with me a caress that makes me melt! Share with me unselfishly
the kisses so magical, I want our lips to cling to each other forever! Love is
meant to say I value you as a person with all your talents and imperfections
above all other's, and I am willing to show you always!
Love makes a person go "that extra mile" in surprising a partner that they have
been on our mind and missed! A hidden love note, the planting of a rose
garden, a night gown in her favorite color, a bottle of her favorite perfume, a
massage anytime she desires, and most of all, not waiting until you are asked,
to give her the "quality time" that makes you, even with your faults..."a keeper"!
But all too often people stray and I believe it is because one partner is selfish!
Selfish about the things their mate needs and craves!
Perhaps it was a mistake from day one when not realizing the difference in
expectations, or the misconception that they could change that person.
Wearing rose colored glasses is the worst mistake made in giving the wrong
person your love. Trust and honesty between two people forms the strongest
foundation between two hearts. But often times people have egos, and are
not honest! They are "Players and Slayers" and to thos who realize they
were betrayed and played a fool, it hurts deeper then anything I could post!
Only when someone has been used and hurt can someone truly "walk a mile in
their shoes"!
For women, they find it hard to let go of pain, they do not forget. They
remember how foolish and trusting they were. They remember what they would
have given that guy, simply to feel loved! They judge men in their future often
times by the actions of men in their past! Though this is very unfair to someone
nice they may meet, they become doubter's, skeptics, for "Survival"! They
must survive, they must! Love is worth all the hell one must go through! But
what men and women find so frustrating is "Why must I go through so much
hell to give my love and accept someone's love!
The answer, though hard to see...is and has always been known to you. You
just had to push away the tears. If finding love was so easy, without risk, stress,
or heartache few people would appreciate the love they have found. They
would simply try again. The problem though in todays world of the web, is that
in the midst of nice gals and guys are users and abusers who see peoples feelings
as a toy to play with. But for the shy people the web is a magnet... a light in the
night, a moth is drawn to. I like to look at friendship, romance and love...on line
as baby steps! Small cautious baby steps.
Yet for all the baby steps two people can take, it is almost impossible to know
with certainty that a) that person is single, b) that they are who they say they
are, c) that they don't have other guys or gals on-the-line! Yes there are web
cams, letters and phone numbers, but the nervousness is still there isn't it?
Add DISTANCE into the picture and in truth, someone can be anyone they
wish to be. There are women player and men players and I think there are
fewer women players in comparison to men. Thats where msn sites like this
can help two people try to be more comfortable and get to know each other
better.
There is the advantage of getting to know someone through what they post as
well as chatting in a chatroom. Plus, there are others at sites like this where if you
feel you can trust their opinion you can ask what they think of that person.
Women though have a RIGHT to be hesitent about giving out their address and
phone number. A woman doesn't know sometimes what she thought was
someone nice is a JERK until down the road. Then, she must do all she can to
protect herself and/or her children. A good man to a certain extent will
appreciate her cautiousness and hesitation. But he must weigh the
secrecy she maintains with that of being played!
Yes, it is a obstacle course of "What if's" that hold many of us back! Feeling
vulnerable is a very uneasy feeling! Yet I have seen people on the web who
had the courage and strength to jump right in! They were self-confident enough
and prepared enough to brace themselves and dodge the "Players"! Yet it is
unfair for them to believe that other's should feel just as brave! We are all human
and we act and interact in relation to lifes experiences! For some, they have
been abused pysically, emotionally and in other ways so terribly that other's
wonder who in the world they have held on?
All to often, in the recovery stage of being hurt, we build walls around us,
not because we want to, but simply in order to survive, we must! The walls
are high, thick, and we rarely look outside or answer someone's knock.
We focus on ourselves, and what little we possess is cherished. We take
nothing for granted and we trust no one! We become suspicious of the most
innocent of converstaions! Yet as skeptical as a person can be, we lower our
walls in our dreams. Because in our dreams, we find the right person,
possessing the qualities we have missed! Dreams show us love is real, at
least until we awaken. But love can be seen in our waking hours too!
We can't help but notice a couple as they walk, talk, hold hands, and kiss!
We can't help but hear the tone of voice between lovers in love! We can't help
but see love in their eyes! They made it through the storm of doubt! We envy
them and yet we are also angry too. Angry because they seem to have found
what we have also sought but could not find! Love surely is a complicated and
elusive treasure to find. Something that bothers me tho, is the attitude many
women have. They feel that because they are nolonger a blond in tight fitting
jeans that men automatically reject them!
While one man may seek a slender gal, the next may seek a BBW! One may
prefer a gal with long hair while the next man wants someone with short hair.
One wants a younger gal, while the next is happy to consider an older woman.
Every man has qualities he desires or hopes to find in someone compatible.
If we allow our heart to harden, to convince ourselves that no one wants us,
we have indeed make a huge mistake. If we can't seem to find someone
compatible with us, it simply means we have to try something different! With
courage and a bit of caution I believe anyone in time, can find that someone
special! Some of us just aren't ready to take that leap of faith!
I know there are those who will disagree with my personal opinion and I
am sure you have a right to disagree.
I'm just glad I took a moment to share my thoughts.
