juggalosex's blog: "Sex with strangers"

“Things a Perfect Woman Would Say” I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste. Are you sure you've had enough to drink? I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy! Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome! God… if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust! I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again? You're so sexy when you're hung over. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping. Let's subscribe to Hustler. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend? Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses. I'll be out painting the house. I love it when you play golf on Sunday’s; I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too. Honey. Our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see! I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed. Your mother did a great job raising you. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself new clubs. I understand fully...our anniversary comes every year for Christ's sake. You go hunting with the guys; it's a wonderful stress reliever. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies? Christ, not the fucking mall again, come on let's go to that new strip joint! Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings. That was a great fart! Do another one! I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for ya...

“Friendship A-Z” I wake up in the morning, and can hardly wait to see if I've received a mailing, addressed from you to me. I get my puter running, and much to my delight, your poems, jokes and other things come quickly into sight. Please keep those emails coming, they are so enjoyable you see Funny things, friendly things those things you mail to me. But most of all, the fun of it, Is knowing that they came From you my friend, The one I need not name. This is a test of the Emergency Friendship System forward it (and back to me, too, I hope).... a Friend does most or all of these... (A)ccepts you as you are (B)elieves in "you" (C)alls you just to say "HI" (D)oesn't give up on you (E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts) (F)orgives your mistakes (G)ives unconditionally (H)elps you (I)nvites you over (J)ust to "be" with you (K)eeps you close at heart (L)oves you for who you are (M)akes a difference in your life (N)ever Judges (O)ffer support (P)icks you up (Q)uiets your fears (R)aises your spirits (S)ays nice things about you (T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it (U)nderstands you (V)alues you (W)alks beside you (X)-plains thing you don't understand (Y)ells when you won't listen and (Z)aps you back to reality

“A Hug Certificate for You!” If I could catch a rainbow, I would do it just for you, And share with you its beauty, On the days you're feeling blue. If I could build a mountain, You could call your very own, A place to find serenity, A place to be alone. If I could take your troubles, I would toss them in the sea, But all these things I'm finding are impossible for me. I cannot build a mountain, Or catch a rainbow fair, But let me be what I know best, A friend who's always there.

We couldn't live without sex,We all need sex, It is the olny thing that gets us out of bed every day