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That's all I am. One lone soul out of nearly seven billion currently inhabiting this crazy planet. Whenever I think, speak or write, it is the thought, voice, and opinion of one person, out of seven billion.
In the infinite number of possible lives that could be lived, to form a perception of life and the human condition; to influence a moral code, values, ethics, and an understanding of right from wrong........ Mine is but one.
And the great thing is; that if I write about an element of it, then out of seven billion people, it isn't unreasonable to think that anywhere between 50 to 3,000 people might find their way to this site, and relate with whatever I've written, enough to click a little button that says 'love' or leave an encouraging comment.
Now as encouraging as it might be that there are other people who connect to something I've written. It doesn't intrinsically make my opinion any more or less valuable or valid than anyone else's. And although some may agree, it is almost guaranteed that for every one person that relates to my thoughts, those same thoughts will seem foreign and possibly confronting to a hundred more.
Human are such diverse and abstract creatures, it's inevitable that ideas that will seem to make one person feel validated to their very core, will seem offensive and threatening to the very existence of the world view that others have created for themselves.
The first important thing to remember is, that we as humans have always made the mistake of thinking that people agreeing with us means we are right. So no matter how much we claim to like robust discourse, we tend to surround ourselves with people who agree with us and hold the same opinions and values as us.
But while we are living in our world thinking that the popularity of opinions has any bearing on reality; try and remember Galileo Galilei who spent the last 8 years of his life under house arrest for proposing that the sun did not revolve around the earth, and it was in fact the other way round.
The second and last important thing we need remembers is, that no matter how unique, profound, or important we think our opinions and values are; we are just one voice out of seven billion.
There you are sitting at the bar drinking your scotch on the rocks when all of a sudden, you spot a beautiful woman sitting across from you. Her loveliness is so intense that you cannot peel your eyes away from her hypnotic emerald eyes. You begin to wonder if she's by herself or if another man has accompanied her to the establishment. But you quickly reason that a woman as beautiful as this stunning brunette must be spoken for. So you sit back and wait to see who the lucky man is. gentlemen, start your engines Much to your delight, you quickly realize that this woman has been sitting alone at the bar for quite some time now and might just be single, or at least unaccompanied for the night. Now you begin to plan your approach. How can you walk up to her and ask her out? Should you offer her a drink? What magic words can you say to prove your worthiness? Before you know it, you become discouraged with all these questions and give up on the whole idea of socializing with the beauty. You reason that this woman is much too beautiful and she'd never give you the time of day anyway. i think i can, i think i can You decide to simply sit back and enjoy the view, when out of the blue, a short and stocky fellow approaches her and begins chatting. You lean forward with intrigue as you laugh to yourself: This should be interesting, let's see how the little bald man handles the rejection. Ten minutes pass and the little fellow is still around. Twenty minutes go by, and he managed to make her laugh, and on more than just one occasion, I might add. Thirty minutes have gone by and they've both had several drinks. After forty minutes, they exchange phone numbers. Now there you are, steaming inside, wondering why in the world you weren't in shorty's place. After all, you're a successful businessman, you're taller, much better looking, in better shape, and you have all your hair. Why in God's name would she not prefer you? What does she see in shorty? What does Costanza have that you don't? great balls of fire The little man has cojones! That's right, he has the courage that most men lack when it comes to approaching beautiful women. So the next time you find yourself asking this question, you'll know the answer. The only difference between Mr. Shorty's abilities to land women and your own is that he actually approaches them and you don't. Had you worked up the nerve and the right attitude to approach her, you might have left with the number instead. Why did he get the digits? When it comes to approaching beautiful women, most men tend to freeze up or avoid the situation altogether. The main reason is because most men believe that speaking to a beautiful woman is the equivalent of playing in the World Series, World Cup or Super Bowl. Unfortunately, this adds large amounts of unnecessary stress to the dating game. She's beautiful, yes, but she's not invincible. She leaks from every orifice just like you or me. The dating game is about observation and reaction. It is still the man's obligation to make the first move and do the courting. Sure it would be nice and a lot easier if the woman made the first move, but that rarely happens — especially if she's beautiful. The solution is simple: stop viewing the situation as though you need to score a Grand Slam — you're perceiving it all wrong. These misperceptions either lead your mind to act and react, or will prevent you from doing so. The bottom line is that if you think you can, then you can. But more importantly, if you're positive that you can't , then you'll fail. Everything can be resolved by simply taking things very slowly and as they occur. All you're doing is approaching and conversing with an individual. Essentially, you're not marrying her or even dating her for that matter, you're just saying hello. Simple enough, right? She's a stranger and although she's stunning, that's all you really know about her, and until you take the initiative to see where things can possibly lead, you'll be left nursing your drink, kicking yourself for not having made the move while baldy gets the goods. If you find yourself stuck in this category of men who sabotage their ability to approach beautiful women by sensationalizing the scenario, rest assured because you can finally get over it. The fastest way to ultimately overcome this dilemma is by understanding why it exists in the first place. Once you recognize why you behave in such a manner, you'll be able to adjust your irrational perception accordingly. why men fear beautiful women You don't have a tail / erection: Because a lot of men are afraid of being perceived as pigs or players, they veer away from approaching beautiful women; since this variety of female gets hit on more than others, she is likely to perceive you as just another guy who's hitting on her. And because you have a fear of being tossed into such a negative category, you opt to steer clear of the entire situation. Keep reading, maybe you fit into one of these categories...
Past experience / fear of rejection: Some men have been rejected by beautiful women many times in the past. After a while, they begin to take it personally and give up on the whole thing. This is further perpetuated if the women doing the rejecting are not so hot.
The common belief is: "If ugly women have rejected me, then there is no way a beautiful woman will accept me." The important thing is to keep trying — don't give up and don't take it personally. Remember, rejection is better than regret, and it's also part of the dating game.
Little man syndrome / lack of confidence: Unfortunately, there is a small number of men that suffer from the little man syndrome. Small men erroneously believe that because there is so much good competition, they have nothing better to offer the women they desire. The common belief in this situation is, "What makes me stand out, when she has so many options available to her? Surely she must have found better."
The goddess / celebrity complex: Too many men use physical beauty alone to judge a woman. Most men give too much praise to a woman they hardly know simply because she is beautiful. These same men become so intimidated by women that they freeze in their tracks. Some men become all tongue-tied and somewhat erratic around women. Remember, no matter how good-looking, women are not goddesses; they're normal people like you. There is no reason in the world to get nervous around the female gender.
Assumptions: I've said this before and I'll say it again: assumptions are the mother of all screw-ups. If every single man in the world assumes that a beautiful woman is already taken, then no man will ever approach her and she will be forced to remain single until a player approaches her. So don't assume that just because she is beautiful, she is automatically dating someone. Believe it or not, there are a lot of single, gorgeous women
You've likely never been taught how to socialize with the fairer sex, so what you ultimately need to do is start from scratch and walk through it with baby steps. Here's how:
Nod your head: For a period of one week, you have to get into the habit of making a friendly hello-like nod with your head towards the women around you. So the next time you get into an elevator, on a bus, or while you wait in line, nod your head.
More of your step-by-step guide to approaching the babes...
Smile: Step two requires a time frame of two weeks. Now you need to take it up a notch by including a smile along with your nod. Don't be afraid to show your teeth, it will make you look friendlier. Be prepared to accept that not all women smile back. Don't let it discourage you; I guarantee that most women will.
Say hello: By this stage, you should be a little more relaxed and less intimidated by women. It's time to show your confidence by saying hello. This stage requires a practice period of one week.
Initiate a conversation: The final stage requires that you break the ice by actually initiating a conversation. This might sound difficult, but trust me, after the first three steps, you will feel a lot more confident.
Once you do this enough times with all women, it will become second nature to you. And once that happens, your intimidation will be minimized. Before you know it, it'll be as though you've been playing in the World Series year after Grand Slam year. After all, practice makes perfect.
Now that you realize that it's not such a big deal, you have to know how to approach her in a unique way that will stand out from the ordinary — after all, she is a beautiful woman and they do get hit on a whole lot.
Here's what you should keep in mind if you want to get — and retain — her attention:
1- Beauty is the main focus for most men so don't mention anything about her appearance. Instead introduce yourself in a friendly manner and then say something different than what she's accustomed to hearing like, "You have way too much perfume on... good thing it smells great." Negative hit followed by positive one will keep her intrigued.
2- Don't look mesmerized or stumble on your words. Don't sell yourself short. Remember, you're the man and she's the woman — not the goddess.
3- Treat her like you would any other woman until she proves her worth to you. Don't let her make you nervous; after all, she's the equivalent of any of your buddies (minus the farting and burping).
4- Don't be afraid to dismiss her before she attempts to dismiss you — especially if she looks down on you for simply trying to initiate a friendly conversation. See ya!
5- Give her the interview. Make her feel as if she has to impress you. Most beautiful women are so used to men proving their worth that they will actually be delighted for a change when you ask, "So what did you study?" or "What do you do in life? Do you have any aspirations?"
There you have it men. Now you'll never find yourself asking, "What does she see in him? What does he have that I don't?" because you'll have the courage to stop crying and complaining, and will instead take action to approach the woman. And that's all she is — she's no superbeing. Get it on!
Good words to read and do, but i cant do it.
