A glimpse inside my soul...

Quite often, I am asked one of these questions..."What kind of guy am I interested in?" or "What kind of a person am I?" I don't mind being asked...it's human nature and very flattering and if you truly want to know...read on, my friend...(but be warned...I have a really hard time putting the answers to these questions into words, so you'll have to bear with me...lol) This is just my way of giving you a little insight into who I am, and letting you in.

First off, I would describe myself as an extremely emotional person...that doesn't mean I cry at the drop of a hat or fly off the handle at the slightest indiscretion...just that I feel very deeply about what I believe in and how I feel I deserve to be treated. Each and every emotion (love, hate, fear, happiness, passion, etc...) is magnified with me. If I Love you, you will feel it each and every day. If you are true to me, I will be the best friend/partner you could ever ask for. If I'm happy, I infect the people around me with happiness. If I'm hurt or scared or angry, I will crawl into my shell and hide until I feel it's safe to come out.The first time someone mistreats me, I shut down and find it very difficult to trust that person after that. Sometimes, I'm unable to ever trust them again. I have very little faith in humanity as a whole. I've been to hell and back and flat out refuse to go there again, so I tend to walk away from people who I feel will hurt me. This is why I'm single and you might notice my status being a little downhearted at times.
One of my favorite sayings is: "I've built a wall, not to keep others out but to see who Loves me enough to climb over it". I could not have described myself better than that. If you are someone who wants to be in my life, you will have to prove yourself to me...not because I think I'm better than you, because I don't by any means, but to assure myself that I won't be hurt by you. This is just me protecting me. And don't think for a minute that it's a one-way street...I know I have my fair share of proving to do, as well.
As for what kind of guy I'm looking for...I'm really not. In my opinion, to go looking for someone will only create an unstable relationship...like trying to force the sun to shine. When it happens, I'll know...it's just that easy. In my heart and soul, I will know that I'm secure, Loved, appreciated, and that I can let my guard down without worry. I will know that I am enough for him and he will be my all. It will take someone with the patience of a saint and the Love of the ages to get over my wall but, once he is inside, he will know that it was worth all of his effort. And I will know he is worth it as well, for to expend such energy to get into my heart will surely prove to me that he Loves me enough for me to give him all of me and return that Love tenfold.
I know I'm not very eloquent when I try to explain these things, so I might have just been better off having you listen to two songs that really explain me. Everything by Buckcherry and She Will Be Loved by Maroon5. I feel that music is more than just entertainment, it can be an expression of who you are and those describe how I feel to a tee. When I meet a man who feels that way about me, who can listen to those two songs and feel that they were written for him to sing to me, then I will have found the one. I guess I sound like someone who wants to be saved, and maybe that's true...to a point. Just remember, I will be saving him as well. I have always described the relationship between a man and a woman like this: the man is this big, strong tree with his branches spread out in a protective circle guarding his woman, the little tree nymph who feeds and waters and cares for him. He is the protector and she is the caregiver. He makes sure no wind carries her away and no rain should fall on her to dampen her spirits and she makes sure he'll be healthy and happy enough to grow ever stronger and live longer.
If you have read this entire thing without falling asleep, I applaud you...lol...and I thank you for taking the time to try to really get to know me.