SaraMariexWYKDxP3x's blog: "Sara"

It's past midnight and i cannot sleep... I'm awake in my own thoughts about recent events.

 

3 weeks ago I found out my ex was cheating..sexting multiple women. It hurts!! I know and understand couples go through stresses BUT it does NOT give one another the right to go out of the relationship talking to other people inappropriately!

 

The day i found out he was cheating he lost his job..guess Karma got him before he even knew as i didnt confront him about it til middle of the week. I broke things off with him as a result as we fought/argues off and on throughout the weeks coming til i finally up n left then moved bk home to IL from KS leaving him without nothing. Mind you, he just lost his job so no $ or way to get to and from as he can't drive nor way to get food. I work full time..i come home and cook, do some cleaning if needed, do ALL our laundru including my kid's clothes, bring him his plate for dinner, fold his clothes and help him with whatever he needs. Why? Why the fuckknowing you're depending on someone do you risk going out of your relationship talking to others? Are they gonne be there to help you like i was including getting you food and stuff..? No! Instead you're contacting me DAILY!! Why did you have to chance your well being for the sake of our relationship knowing those women aren't going to be there to help and take care of you when you need it!? Did all those things for you and not once did i complain doing so! Thinking i got myself a good man al th e while im doing this stuff you're talking to other women, some of them which i know from this site but dont know that i know...YET! Making me feel and look stupid.

 

You wanting me to put your thoughts and feelings in consideration on how it would impact YOU if i left BUT yet you couldnt put MY thoughts and feelings in consideration on how i'd feel if i found out. Selfish ass shit!! 

 

I DONT feel bad for leaving you "high and dry" as i know you're telling people...after all I am letting you stay in MY apartment which doesnt have your name tied to it legally in no way at all. Most women in my situation wouldn't have cared if you had no where to go or not and would've kicked your ass out on the streets but for some reason I am too nice and have too big of a fkn heart to do to you. IDKy im being nice... you DONT deserve my heart, you dont deserve my generosity..nor my mercy.

So I been seeing the father of my oldest off and on since 2005. A lot of fucked up shit has happened with us. Well this past year he been playing mind games with a bitch and it has gone so far that she thinks they're together.. her and i used to be friends n went to school together.

I am to a point where i am tired of hearing n seeing them together. He afraid to leave cause sh got him wrapped up in a dcfs case that started before he started talking to her and dont wanna risk dcfs invstigating us n our kids for any reason. Hes a good dad just sux at reelationships. IDK

 

Am i just stupid for putting up with it or do i just love hm that much that I want MY family back? I dont know anymore...

I been questioning things soo much lately. Kieran will be a month old tomorrow and NOT once has his dad asked how he's doing or tried wanting to see him. A close friend of mine is going through a divorce and her soon to be ex husband hasnt been around to see their daughter because hes avoiding all the stress.Seeing my friend go through this, its making me wonder if thats the reason my ex wont come around to see the baby which i dont get because while i was pregnant he sounded determined to be in the baby's life.  I try at ALL costs to keep the stress down between me and my ex and everytime he gets stressed from other situations he seems to take it out on me.  I dont know what to think anymore bout the situation.

This will be Kieran's first Christmas and its going to break my heart more than its already broken if his father doesnt even come around to see him.  How can anyone be so fucking cruel like this? Yes! My ex and i have probs but those probs are between me and him, it is NOT the baby's fault that we, the parents have these problems. To stay away from your own child because of that is NO excuse at all.  Wel ill add more to this one later!!

A lot has gone on this past year and i mean a LOT. The best thing other than still being alive and bring life into this world 11-20-09 @ 12:59PM.  It'll be Kieran's 1st Christmas, he'll be 1 month and 5 days old on Christmas.  I'm happy to be celebrating his 1st Christmas with him along with my 3 yr old son, Elijah as well. They are both the best things that have ever happened to me in MY life at this point. 

 

With everything that has gone on this past year though I don't even care to celebrate the holidays.  Other than my boys and my own family(mom, bro, uncles) I don't have that special someone to share it with.  A year ago it was great as I was spending Christmas and the New Year with someone i loved at some point and someone who i thought loved me.  Well now? Now i am signle 23 with 2 kids.  All i can hope for is 2010 to be better than 2009.

December 17th, 2004 a baby was found on the side of the road dead, naked and frozen in a garbage bag. December 20th the autopsy declared that this innocent infant was born alive and full term and 7lbs , 3 oz. and only 191/2 inches long. Death to be said caused by exposure of weather, no trauma was found involved to Baby Crystal. Police and investigator did a lot of searching and looking for clues, interviewing people whom lived in the area but nothing came up. Also, the baby has cocaine in her system as well as positive for Hepatitis B.

Apparently investigators were still hard at work quietly for almost 5 years when the mother was finally found and arrested a August 5th, 2009 in Kansas then was extradited back here to Rockford, IL. Timeline for her arrest is as follows;
October 2008: Stockton fails to submit a blood, tissue or saliva specimen for DNA testing within 45 days of her plea as ordered by the court.

December 2008: Stockton refuses to submit to a DNA test as directed by the Winnebago County probation office.

June 2009: Stockton refuses to submit to a DNA test as directed by the Winnebago County probation office.

June 26: The Winnebago County State’s Attorney’s office files a petition to vacate Stockton’s probation based on her failure to submit to DNA testing, a requirement of her guilty plea.

July 13: Stockton appears in Winnebago County court on the petition to vacate. She denies the allegations. The case is set for Aug. 3.

Aug. 3: Stockton fails to appear in court and a warrant is issued for her arrest.

Aug. 4: Winnebago County State’s Attorney’s office charges Stockton with the December 2004 murder of her newborn.

Aug. 5: Police locate Stockton in Kansas City and arrest her.

Aug. 6: Stockton appears before a judge in Kansas City and waives extradition to Winnebago County.

August 12th 2009 the story gets even more gruesome when police search her car which was previously impounded 1 year later. Police discovered the skeletons of two babies in the trunk of a car belonging to this woman who was charged last week with killing her newborn daughter in December 2004.
Autopsy is scheduled August 18th for the babies hoping to find out their age and gender.

I don't know why I am really posting this except for possible reason its hitting me real hard. I was still in high school when Baby Crystal was found and laid to rest. Now I am expected to have a baby in November . I don't see how any human can do to this to a child so innocent.

 

 

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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.. The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the professor shared it with his colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

I left the devil, no more t-mobile!!! now im going back to being a personal assistant and work on getting my license to CNA! Happy New Year

It will suck you in, you'll like it at first then find out you absolutely hate it. You will love your ph. til you cant stand looking at one. You'll talk on your ph. til the battery dies then just throw it. This is what the lovely, fun and fantastic land of t-mobile does for you. Benefits? sore throat by end of the week bc they wont let you take a break, needing eyeglasses bc you're staring at c omputer 8 hrs/day and begging for a personal trainer since all you basically have there to eat is junk and barely any room to walk around being chained to a ph. T-MOBILE ROCKS!!!

I been back in IL for about a month, the first night back i wanted to leave again..and i still do! same ol' shit between me and mom but now Shawn and i been fighting:( and were on the brinks of calling it quits. I just hate being here and i want to so desparately leave!:(

Were going back to IL, not able to stay here sue to financial problems like the cost to live in a place down here, plus our room mate got laid off from his job til lext june, Shawn cant do it on his own with paying rent plus utilities and bring food in house and im looking for a job but no telling when id find one. But beware FL! we'll probably be back in june