Yes I know stuff is mis-speld but thats how the song/track on my CD has it an says it
Dear Thanta,
I would like 2 giant candy caneth, a bag of gumdropth, 2 dothen hershey kisseth, thom thugar babies, poprockth and a case of pepthi
thankth
thara
Dear Sara,
How about a toothbrish and some fruit with your no talking self. Sounds like you could eat corn though a picket fence. You better see a dentist. And you need a case of "pepthi" like i need a case of HIV!
Santa
Dear Santa,
I told my mommy if I dont get a puppy this year, I'll hold my breathe till I turn Purple. I MEAN IT DAMMIT.
Bobby
Dear Bobby
PLEASE.........
After you wake up with a migraine, you might look good in purple.
Forget the Puppy, you done even deserve a SKUNK.
You know you got some serious discpline issues. What you need is a black mommy like I had with a big bar of LYE Soap to wash out your filthy little mouth. Then you can try on your new socks and underwear that you'll be getting again this year.
Love,
Santa
Dare Senta,
We ain't got a chimley on our house. We live in a trailer. how'd you get in our house?
Love,
Bubbaleen
Dear Bubbaleen,
What kind of name is that? I get in the same way your Uncle daddy gets in when your mamma thinks everybody's asleep. The real issue here is last year, those insane dogs of yours tore up my $3000 Fur-lined Gucci Santa pants..... So if they ain't tied up this year they'll go down in history!
Santa
Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year, I really want a baby brother. Please?
How can I get one?
Love,
Mikey
Dear Mikey,
Pour some vodka in Mommy's orange juice and hide the T.V. remote from Daddy. Then you might get some results.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I was wondering if you could tell me what's it like flying high over the worldat night in your sleigh.
Your friend,
Maria
Dear Maria,
When you look down over the side of the sleigh - It's one of the most spectacilar sights you'll ever see. But the straight ahead view never changes. It's butt, butt, gas, and more butt.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I always get crummy gifts for Christmas. Could you just send me some cash this year?
Larry
Dear Larry,
Do I look like a ATM? What you need is a job. I'll bring you a snow shovel and some want ads.
Santa
Dear Santa,
It seems every year that my sister gets more then I do. She's older and much prettier than me. I'm 12 and she's 19. She wants to be a supermodel. And I feel ugly and invisible when she's around. No one will notice me.
Love Cindy
Dear Cindy,
Stop whining with your little ugly self and what you need to do is FED-EX me a picture of your sister.
Santa
Dear Santa,
Either you're not getting my letters or you're deliberately ignoring my letters. I keep asking you for a fire truck and i really frigging want my fire truck this year.
Ned
Dear Ned,
I got your fire truck. I'm gonna give you......The bonus plan. While you're asleep i'm gonna tourch your house. Then you'll have more fire trucks than J-LO has boyfriends.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I'm small and under nourished, and I have a sister named Becky who eats everything in sight. I'm tired of left overs and doing without. All I want for Christmas is for her to have a treadmill with a HEMI. Mom and dad say it's all in my head and i say it's all in her butt. when she sits down she looks like 2 saddle bags on a Harley. Please bring that treadmill, because i'm bedining to hate fat people.
Jessie
Dear Jessie,
Don't you know that all fat people are Jolly and fun to be around just like OL SANTA here? If she so desires, she'll lose enough weight kicking your whining sorry butt around the house eith the louisville slugger and unlimited free lessons of Billy Blanks Tae-Bo that i'm going to put under the tree.
Santa
P.S.
You Better hope she gets to you before i do cause you're gonna wish your little butt was fatter after i get through whippin it with the radio antenna off my sleigh. You better start eatin Christman cookies, pie, and chugging eggnog like it's going out of stylecause i'm gonna wear you out like discount carpet.
FAT PEOPLE?? Some of the greatest people on earth are fat.
Fats Domino! Minnesota Fats! Chubby Checker! ( He was kinda Fat)
FAT PEOPLE?? You little ...I got your Fat people- right here! I'm coming over to your house right now and whip your buttwith a jumbo candy cane. What you talking bout Fat People??!!
I got your treadmill, too... SWINGING!!! HERE IT IS!!! You little...Yeah- Yeah- I'm talking to you, Presents?!! YEAH RIGHT! All you're Gonna get wake up to is bad memories
Little nasty...Nothing.....I doubt if you ever have a Christmas....I'm Sick of kidslike.... Kids be getting on my nerves... I think i'm having a nervous breakdown or somethin......I don't know what's...... y'know...I gotta get another line of work, This, WOO, This is Killing me...Somebody got a ZOLOFT...I...GOD ALMIGHTY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO............................................SHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
