Ben Komodo Moose's blog: "santa"

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money? And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM! Flying through the air...dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment. There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

Santa wore a bright red suit He had a job till he got the boot Now he stands there unemployed His bank account says null and void He was the boss at the north pole Then the elves united in whole Upped and formed a union did they Demanded that them he start to pay With rising feed for the deer And a new sleigh seat for his rear Money became very tight Then the seven dwarfs added to his plight Seems that grumpy aided by the rest Had some liquid cash which to invest With no money left which to pour Santa lost in a hostile take over Now grumpy dwarf called the shots And changes he was making lots No room for a fat man dressed in red Twas dopey driving the sleigh instead Now he’s left out there in the cold No chance of work cause he’s old And a pension cheque he cannot get Cause he aint paid into it yet So next time when to the corner you go And see a man in red yelling Ho Ho Ho Take a very close look and see For the real Santa that just may be