Hiding from the scars of my own reality's blog: "Santa"

The Naughty Night Before Christmas 'Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house The whole damn family was drunk as a louse Grandma and Grandpa were singing a song And the kid was in bed flogging his dong Ma, home from the cat house, and me out of jail Had just crawled into bed for a nice piece of tail When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter Away to the window I flew like a flash Threw open the shutters and fell on my ass The moon on the crest of the new fallen snow Gave a whore-house-like luster to the objects below When what to my blood shot eyes should appear But a rusty old sleigh and two mangy reindeer With a little old driver a pounding his dick I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Nick Slower than snails his reindeer they came He bitched and he swore as he called them by name Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls Quick now, damn it, or I'll cut out your balls. Then up to the roof he stumbled and fell And came down the chimney like a bat out of hell He staggered and stomped and went to the door Tripped on his peter, and fell on the floor I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight: Piss on you all, this is a hell of a night.

Dear Santa, You must be surprised that I'm writing you today, the 26th of December. Well I would very much like to clear up some things that have occurred since the beginning of the month! While filled with illusion I wrote you a letter, I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you Santa, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me. With my parents, my brothers, my friends and with my neighbors, I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing I wouldn't do for humanity! WHAT BALLS YOU HAVE LEAVING ME A FUCKING YO-YO, A STUPID ASS WHISTLE, AND A PAIR OF SOCKS!!! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU FAT SON OF A BITCH, THAT YOU'VE TAKEN ME FOR A SUCKER THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR, TO COME OUT WITH SOME SHIT LIKE THIS UNDER THE DAMN TREE. AS IF YOU HADN'T FUCK ME ENOUGH, YOU GAVE THAT LITTLE FUCKTARD ACROSS THE STREET SO MANY FUCKING TOYS, THAT HE CAN'T EVEN WALK INTO HIS DAMN HOUSE!!! DON'T LET ME SEE YOU TRYING TO FIT YOUR BIG FAT STANK ASS DOWN MY CHIMNEY NEXT YEAR!!! I'LL FUCK YOU UP!!! I'LL THROW ROCKS AT THOSE STUPID ASS REINDEERS OF YOURS, AND SCARE THEM THE FUCK AWAY SO YOU'LL HAVE TO WALK YOUR BIG FAT ASS EVERYWHERE, JUST LIKE I HAVE TO DO SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET ME THAT FUCKING BIKE, YOU PUNK BITCH!!! YOU KNOW WHAT SANTA . . . FUCK YOU!!! NEXT YEAR YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW BAD I CAN REALLY BE . YOU'VE BEEN STEPPING ON THIS MOTHERFUCKER FAR TOO LONG!!! SO WATCH YOUR BACK NEXT YEAR, YOU FAT ASS PUNK BASTARD!!! Sincerely Fucking Yours, Little Johnny!