Drake's blog: "RL"

For a while now I've been waiting for someone to see me. I'm talking about all the bullshit and mess of my past and to actaually see who I am. To accept me for me and not judge me on my past or what others say about me who have no clue who the hell I really am. I know I'm not perfect and I've never claimed to be but a lot of people out there sure act as if they are and I keep hoping to find someone who realizes that being perfect is something to strive for but something we will never really reach. I thought I'd actually found someone a few years ago but I was so mistaken. She didn't care to know who I was nor did she try to get to know me. She wanted what she wanted and it wasn't me. It was some idea of me that she had set in her head and when I didn't live up to that ideal she tried to change who I was by ignoring what I said, thought, felt and who I really am. You ever want to piss a guy off all you have to do is dismiss him when you're in a "relationship" with him and sooner or later it'll get to him. Of course, my biggest pevees are being ignored, lied to (or about) and cheated on. So when she did two of those I should have just let it go. Stupid me I tried to work things out anyways and she did it again. Not only that she took everything I had, including my dog (which she killed) and screwed me over so royally I should really hate her. Stupid me times two, I don't. Don't ask me why, but I don't. The only thing I can say is that she burned that bridge with me and while I don't hate her I wouldn't help her again if she asked. I really do feel sorry for her though, again I don't know exactly why, although I think it has to do with the fact she can't accept responsiblity for her actions and has to make up bullshit excuses and phony medical problems to get attention. Anyways, the point I was trying to make before I got all side tracked is that I've noticed most people aren't nearly as honest as they pretend to be. I've been honest and upfront to everyone that bothers to ask and it's like it's a surprise to them when what I've told them is the truth. Why is that? Well I've found it's because what they say is 90% lies to being with most of the time and they expect me to lie as well. I really don't know why I bother looking anymore. I guess truthfully it's because I don't want to give up hope that there is a woman out there that sees me for the man I am and would fight for me as I'd fight for her. That would give up everything for me as I'd give up everything for her. That...ah well if I tell all then how would I know her for true when she comes and not some lying bitch trying to take me for what I've worked so hard for recently and knock me down again?