CHD's blog: "Revelations..."

I had a revelation, take all this frustration I have, take it all in and laugh map it all out and strap it all down and relax all the slack taken in and tightened again never frightened again of the fights I can't win a new beginning I need from the greed and the hate in this state I cant leave I can't believe my poor fate Too late to relieve the need to create a family and life but the strife is unended and the pain is to great and wounds stay un meanded extended my heart on my sleave till Im renderd bended and broken a stroke of bad luck. sending a token to you with my open mind stuck Fuck the fall that Ive had I can pick myself up But its all up to you Im erupted destructed, disgusted with this , busted and broken with only one wish, Im listening please tell me the answer I missed. Blistered my mind the end I insist Shake my fist in the air and open my wrist... If your listening to this and missing the jist ITs the devil Ive seen and it's her that I kissed. Criss cross my heart that I've given my all, a tall order livin' and not to live in the past To fast was our ending, but an ending at last.......

Impossible to write any more sorrows borrowing from feelings that dont remain wallowing and sinking and circling the drain Taking up space that could be better used confused as to why these things happen tapping in to unchanged meanings Dreaming of a time that all will feel right out of sight these things I dream Gleaming with beams of light streaming freeing us all heart and soul mind and body under control tales told of times when we were happy tap water and scraps of food no times of hunger and solemn mood no grim blank stares and attitudes slow slim blinks ... more of a flutter a simple kiss cause for shuttering butterfiles studder and stammer the feelings you hold deep sleep while dreaming now dreaming of sleep deep in depression and looking for the leap steep shear cliffs and drifting winds long cold nights beneath blankets of sin winning this fight only I can win tinted light shines pale and thin clinging to what lies beyond this dark stinging still from what lies you bark parting such sweet sorrow I've heard starting to see the burden in this wishing I never knew wishes wishing I never knew kisses Insisting this twisted exsistence cease to exsist. criss cross my heart and beg to die... I live no more for the love inside. try and fail and try again ... try and try and never win these things I see are my future... this open wound just seeking the suture...