face2u's blog: "Relationships"

Relationships are interesting from a psychological stand point. It’s interesting in the sense of how each gender handles a break up. Females for example, go through, what I call, “The Cleansing Period.” After a break-up a woman will usually go through her items that her X had given her, such as jewelry cards, clothes or perfumes either pack them or throw them away. From there women will have her friends around her so that she may confide in them not to mention ridicule and make fun of her X. Women will than go out and get their manicure and pedicures and get their hair done along with some clothes shopping as if to cleanse the X out of her life and system. Men on the other hand do things completely different. They will go to bars, parties or clubs with friends as they drink the night away. They confide in each other and boost each others ego and try hard to make him forget about his X and that he was too good for her. In this situation, men can be their own worst enemy. Men will also go out on dates with other women as if to replace her. This is the biggest mistake a man can make, if they have any aspirations of getting back together with their her. Once this action is done any hope of getting back together with the X girlfriend is gone. “Words Float”, meaning the word of him seeing another woman will travel. In this sense, women are like mental telegraphs. A comedian once said “Women do not get hysterical, they get historical.” This is so true. Once a man makes a mistake a woman never forgets and the man will be constantly reminded when ever he makes a similar mistake. Relationships are important part of a persons life. Every one is looking for that infamous “CLICK”. The "Click" starts off with the first "Line of sight", I disagree with people when they say they do not go after physical attraction. They say they go after personality. Well, you had to find him/her attractive before you made the approach. Physical attraction consist of 98% of the reason as to why a relatioship started in the first place. After physical attributes comes the kiss. I feel this gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Kiss and tell". I myself have been in situations where the kiss did not feel right and ended the connection right there. After the kiss test obviously comes sex. I feel sex is kind of similiar to a lock and key, I know this sounds weird, Very similar to the kiss also. The key has to fit in order to turn the unlock her heart. To me this is not just sex, this is earning her love, trust and showing her how much you love her. This is for her, not for the man. Make her feel that she is important and that she is all that matters. Always stay with her after, do not get up and leave. Cuddle with her, kiss her and tell her how much she means to you. Trust me, later on you will wish that you did. People need to start showing their true self. When a woman meets a man or vice versa, they should be their true self. If you should try to be something you are not, the real you has to come out sooner or later. This is a definite cause for a break up. No on likes misrepresentation. People need to find someone in their life to grow old with. To share what life has to offer. To be able to awake next to each other. The need to feel wanted and loved by another person is overwhelming. We are very verbal creatures and the need to be able to talk about today’s events and share it with your loved one is a great experience. To get feedback from either him or her and to see their views on the subject. Communication is key in a relationship. If one another does not know how the other feels nothing can be achieved as far the relationship itself is concerned. I feel that there are three main factors in a relationship. (1) Love (2) Trust (3) Honesty Love is important, it fills the heart and makes you feel like nothing else can. To come home to your significant other and see him/her waiting for you is a great feeling. The things he/she does for you, no matter how big or how small is phenomenal. The extents that they will go through to please you. It’s funny, how you feel after a break and how true the saying is ‘You don’t know what you got till it’s gone”. After a break up, you begin to think of the things your X did for you and feel badly when you did not show the appreciation you should have. It truly is the small things that can make another person happy. It is that way, because they are just that, small things. If you can’t do the small things for your significant other how can you possibly be counted on when needed for serious situations. Treat each day with him/her as if it were your last. Remember every breath, smell, kiss and hug. We always find our selfs reflecting back on what we should have done. Make it right the first time around so you know you did your best so that you dont have to look back and wish you did things differently. Marriage rolls in. Some people after a few months get a feeling of clausterphobia. A feeling of being tied down. You can not look at a marriage as work. You have to remember why you were there in the first place. There was once a time the two people could not be without each other. Where every song, bump in the road or a certain smell brought back memories. A marriage should not just be that, A marriage should be fun. Your mate should be your friend, confidant, a shoulder to cry on and some one just to listen to you or talk about your day. I feel before divorce, given the situation, people should seriously sit back and think about why they were married in the first place. I am far from a expert. Just stating my thoughts. Live, Love, Learn.

I met a lady and I helped her in every way. I bought her kids a bed, I bought her a car, computers, washers, dryers, took her grocery shopping and was always there for her no matter what. We do have a child together, the car was to be used for my child to go to preschool. The car was used for everything but taking our child to school. It was used for her other kids whom she has 4 other fathers from who in turn barely do anything for her. I have also purchased digital cameras for her since she is into photography. The first one she broke in about 4 years. The second one, I paid $1000 for. She tells all of her friends that "I helped her buy it." She broke that camera in a year. I purchased these camera's in hopes that she would get off the system and start working. I have always been there fro her, whether she paid me back or not. She speaks badly of her friends and her own family behind their backs and does the same thing to me. I feel I have to help her because we have a child together. She does use our child against me in many ways. She plays herself off as a nice, christian woman with morals. But yet takes from me and never gives back. She acts as if I never do anything for her. I think because she lives off the system and child support she has no respect for what it takes to pay for these items. She brings in Close to $3,000 a month and pays $600 rent. She has 6 kids from five different men. Why am I writing this, I am writing this just to vent. Just to put down some digital dialogue. To me, no matter how obvious, its hard for me to believe that people like this exist. I cant fathom the thought that I had a child with such a person. I spoke to her X one time and asked me if she was overly sweet for the first two weeks and than changed. I agreed. For me, I would not be able to live with myself knowing how I have to use people in order to get ahead. Knowing that I use my kids as a tool and dollar signs rather than just my kids. But I guess, that would be considered having morals and ethics. To her, I say this. You know who you are, you know how badly you talk of your friends and your own family behind their back. You know what I have done for you and what you really owe me. Its not really about the owing part...it's more of the TRYING to pay it back rather than getting glamor shots done. As a father I have done more than my share to help you achieve what you needed to. Here we are, 8 years later and you are pretty much still in the same exact place as you were when I met you. Just a different location. For me, I moved on. Moved on yes, feeling used and abused yes. But when my day comes.. I will know that I helped you. I know that taught you many things and given all I possibly could. For you, what have you given society, you haven't given society anything, you only take. What have you done to help your kids out..nothing.. if the fathers took off you would be screwed. So when you buy your boyfriend something, let him know that it was the kids Child support and that he can thank the fathers for the money. Or, if you say it came from SS, you can tell him he can thank himself and the millions of other Americans that go to work each and every day so that people like yourself can thrive. TO me, you are no more than a parasite on the ass of society. You are sucking the blood out of us in order of yourself to live. You, if you had any morals and ethics should be ashamed, embarrassed and just down right walking with your head down. Realize what was given to you,,who you should truly thank and where the money comes from every time you spend a penny. Realize how you have to lie in shame in order to get away with things. We were put on this earth to help one another to make this world a better place to live in. Not cheat, lie, steal and take. But than again, Some of us can go on like.. I am not one of them. Live with yourself, who you are and what you become. Can you parents say they are proud of you? Am I jealous of your new found love. No, Far from it. I am just feeling used and abused and I would like better for our child. Our child should have a nice padded bank account for her college but with you pissing the money off on ebay...that makes it kind of hard. Jealous I am not. I lived and I learned.