DragonMaster Fears None's blog: "Reflections"

Familiarity……. No matter who you are, we as humans feel the need to be loved and wanted and as such we look for the one thing that can make us truly happy….our soul mate, and when you find the one person you feel is you kindred spirit you devote you time and energy in building the relationship that you so badly desire and in effect you gift them your heart in the hope they will nurture it, keep it safe as you do theirs. Then for whatever reason, the love, faith and trust you have in that one person is destroyed, time and time again, yet you endeavour to keep loving that person in the hope they will change, they will once again be the same person you fell for, all that time ago. What do you do, maybe you reach a point where enough is enough, you can physically and mentally can take no more…one hurt to many, one lie to many..on and o, would it not be the best thing for you to just walk away, even though it may hurt, even though you may feel you have lost everything you had spent your time and energy on because you feel that at that time you cannot go on any more, so you move on, start a fresh, start to live again, rebuild, but no matter how far you get the very one you are trying to forget, keeps coming back, haunting you like a ghost, never letting go of you, dragging you back, stopping you from moving forwards, what do you do then…………….. Familiarity breeds contempt, yet it is the one thing we feel we are most comfortable with, no matter how much it has betrayed us in the past, we ache for it, we yearn for it and worst of all..we think we cannot live without it……..we go back, again and again…just like heroin it is like the drug that we have take for so long we feel we cannot live without it, it is our very life’s blood but at the time we cannot see the real damage it is doing to us slowly killing us from the inside until one day there is nothing left but an empty shell..Completely destroyed So……which is better to choose, a brand new start with all that life has to offer, or the thing we feel most comfortable with yet may end up destroying us completely!!!

Every minute of every day in our lives we all make choices, what to wear, what to eat, drink, where to go next, what to do next and every choice we make effects what sort of day we have, what sort of life we are going to have and some we have to make because we can see no other way in any given situation that is right for everyone…these we call sacrifices and theses, for whatever reason are the hardest choices we have to make as they can and invariably do effect our life’s greatly. One of the greatest sacrifices we may have to make is those of the heart and no matter how hard it may seem sometimes that choice has to be made, for instance, you care very deeply for someone but you see that that someone is it utter turmoil for what every reason, then the choice is, do you carry on with that someone as you were and hope they manage to overcome and come to terms with whatever the problem may be, knowing that maybe you are part of or caught up in that turmoil or do you allow that someone the time and space they require to deal with and overcome in the hope that when all is said and done they will still need you as much as they did before the turmoil began… The heart say’s no..stay and try to help them even though you may be a part of the problem, even be it an innocent part but the head say’s no, it is best to take that step back, give them the time and space then see what happens after it is sorted……… Well…..the head wins over the heart

Ok......I feel its only fair to say that today IS NOT a good day.....I will not go it to details but I think that today has got to be one of my worst emotionally, so all I ask is that you bare with me, don't avoid but accept that I will try my best......is all I can do......no sympathy needed just understanding.... Thank you and hey...I do love you all

Sits, Waits, Contemplates, For why I know not, the door ajar, head pops in, Looks, smiles, a word, a gesture, stoney silence, turns heals, Off again, good bye, 'til the next time...........

Ok, random rubbish time I guess.....what on earth make a fubar woman tick!!!!!....one minute they are all over you like a rash then the next...as distant as anyone can get and it just seems that anytime you show any sort of feelings towards them........OMG......RUN for the hills.........yeah I guess I am just a little peeved right now and a little confused as well...but hey I am just a man...what do I know...maybe all I want is just one to show me a lil stability, understanding and genuine good old fashioned caring when I show me feelings...ok thats todays joke over yes I know...this is fu-land a land where guys can be jerks towards women to see just how many they can either get off with sexually or play them into the ground and where women can be well....just what they want......hey yeah, I am over here..a long ways away from most if not all of you..... but I am real...I am genuine but most af all I AM ME.......BLAH