1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the finance committee
> >> > refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because
none
> >> > of the members knows how to play one.
> >> >
> >> > 2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people ask, when they
> > learn
> >> > that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish,
> >> > and
> >> > what bait was used to catch 'em.
> >> >
> >> > 3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... when the pastor says,
> >> > "I'd
> >> > like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two
> > women
> >> > stand up.
> >> >
> >> > 4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... opening day of deer
> >> > season
> >> > is recognized as an official church holiday.
> >> >
> >> > 5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... a member of the church
> >> > requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't
> > never
> >> > been in a hole it couldn't get out of".
> >> >
> >> > 6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the choir is known as
the
> >> > "OK Chorale".
> >> >
> >> > 7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... in a congregation of
500
> >> > members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
> >> >
> >> > 8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... people think "rapture"
is
> >> > what you get when you lift something too heavy.
> >> >
> >> > 9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a
> >> > #2
> >> > galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
> >> >
> >> > 10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the choir robes were
> >> > donated by and embroidered with the logo--"Compliments of Billy
Bob's
> >> > Barbecue".
> >> >
> >> > 11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the collection plates
> >> > are hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
> >> >
> >> > 12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... instead of a bell; you
> > are
> >> > called to service by a duck call.
> >> >
> >> > 13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the minister and his
> >> > wife
> >> > drive matching pickup trucks.
> >> >
> >> > 14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... the communion wine is
> >> > Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
> >> >
> >> > 15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet"
> >> > applies to huntin' dogs, too.
> >> >
> >> > 16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if... the final words of the
> >> > benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah".*
> >> >
> >> > 17. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... You see John McLain
and
> >> > Wayne Brantley sitting beside you saying pass the "Redman".
