redda's blog: "redda"

In the past week, some fucked up shit has happened, My brother and his wife lost their baby, Today a friend of mine found out she is having twins. so here i was last week completely devistaed about the loss of my brother and his wifes baby, then my friend tells me today she is having twins. I am a bundle of mixed fucked up emotions, one because i lost a set of twins last yr, and 2 because this has all brought back a lot of sad memories. they say talking or writing about something is excellent therapme ( therapy ) Fuck that ill just be sad and fall asleep i guess its strange to feel sad and happy all at the same time, i can't help but envy the people who are having babies, yes i just had a baby so i should get my head out of my ass, because she is awsome, still i think about the twins i delivred stillborn last yr. man oh man i have a lot to think about to night

Thanks to me being a snooze junkie, my day went nothing like i had planned at all. I planned on waking up around 11 this morning, because well i stayed up all damn night long enough to get the kids off to school at 7 am then i laid back down expecting my check today and i had some errands to run and so forth and so on. Well when the phone rang at 1 this afternoon, I was pissed at myself because i knew i had hit the snooze button a few times eventually just turning the alarm clock off all togehter. These are the times i thank God Kenedi stays up at night but sleeps till noon during the day. I think.... anyhow here was my sleeping daughter in the bed beside me and she was warm and snuggly, I didnt want to wake up, i wanted to sleep all day long and not get up till the boys came home from school but alas i had errands to run and toilet paper to get. We hopped in the car and went and cashed my check making our 1st stop the smoke shop because we had been out of smokes since about 5 this morning, so then we headed on over to walmart where i porceeded to pick up toilet paper, shampoo and conditioner, david a t shirt and i found these adorable lil bell bottom pants for Kenedi, they were jean and i figure as fast as she grows out of clothes what is it going to hurt to buy her a pair of 7 dollar jean's, which by the way she is not used to wearing, everything she owns either comes from the gap, old navy, dillards, penny's or the Carters store. I gave in and bought the jean's a few new binkys and a bottle brush and i think thats about it, hell if i can remember all that shit we bought, well we headed back home after stoping at the one stop Diarreah shop, yes i am referring to McDonalds. The phone rings shortly after we walk in the door and it is the school telling me Dallas one of my 8 yr twins hurt his foot this morning, and although they thought he was faking they thought they would call and let me know what happened, Well the 1st one in the door is my 12 yr old telling me Dallas can't walk, of course since we were told by the school that he was faking we just thought the same thing, David went out and carried him in the house, for the next hour we listened to Dallas Bawl about it hurting, I said fuck this i am tired of hearing about it and put him in the car and took him to the local Monkey circus better known as the Drumright Hospital. Upon arriving they of course sent him over to x ray and the dr came in, my gawd his feet stunk to high heaven too, poor lady. She said it looked like a fracture but most fractures dont become clear until the 7th or 8th day. put him in a partial cast and sent him home on a set of crutches, well i guess the lil ass wasn't faking, but anyhow he is on one leg, being babied, on fall break, so this should be interesting to say the least. On a good note when the phone rang at 1 this afternoon it was my mother, they have released my dad and he is coming home, my mother says it is prayer, who knows, all i know is i am thankful we arent burying my dad this week. That doesn't mean he is out of the woods, all it means is that he is well enough not to be in the hospital. So anyhow like i said my day went nothing like i planned, now i have a full plate again tomorrow, with a lot to do, it is 2 am and the lil one isn't asleep, i am tired, i sat on a cold hospital floor for almost 3 hours and i just want to fall into my bed and go to sleep.

Shock and amazment went through the house last night when i was feeding Kenedi some bread and to my shock and suprise found not one but two teeth in the bottom of her mouth. We all clapped, she thought she had won something lol She is such a good baby and i am so proud of her for not making too big of a fuss over cutting these 2 teeth. So Yay for Kenedi you go gurl

Monday morning i get a phone call from the school principle ( Again ) I answer the phone and groggily say hello the conversation went something like this Principle- Loretta Me- Yes Principle- this is the principle up at @@@@@ middle school, I am sending Austin home for a couple of days. Me- Uhm ok what did he do? Principle- Well Austin got in a fight and he slugged a kid in the jaw me- who did he get into a fight with? Principle- ( insert name here ) Me- Ok well ill have david come get him, how many days is he suspended? Principle- 3 and dont be too hard on him the kid deserved it but when they lay hands on oneanother i have to send them home. Me- Ok i understand Hang up phone Me- David you have to wake up David- Why Me - Austin got in a fight and got suspended for 3 days youhave to go pick him up David - Gawdfuckindammit This was Austin's last fuckin freebee if it happens again he goes to live with his dad

Oh my lord If its not one thing its another That damn kid of mine, UGH I just dont know what to say about his lil ass well he isn't little at all he is 5 ft 7 and 140 lb 12 yr old. I hear a knock at the door today and i think thats strange austin never comes home this early, I answer the door and sure enough its him. He has this pitiful look on his face like someone just shit in his mouth. I ask him whats wrong, he hesitates, and then after a few minutes of me grilling him he gives in. Mom i got caught cheating today WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me: You fucking cheated? Austin: Yeah well i didnt know there was a test Me: Oh my Fucking God, Austin have you lost your gawd damned mind? Austin: Mom i didnt know there was a test Me: Well i think i would have rather gotten a fuckin 30 then a 0. Austin: Well i wasn't gonna use it Me: Well when what the fuck were you gonna do with it? Austin: I dont know Me: Austin if you wrote it on your hand you were going to use it Austin: No i wasn't Me: Ok lie to me on top of it all thats reallly cool Austin How could you do this, Do you like the 7th grade so much you want to stay there again next yr? Austin: Well I didnt get a chance to use it i got caught before i even looked at it Me: Oh so you were going to cheat ? Austin: Yeah but i didnt Me: David are you hearing this shit ( David is snickering in the livingroom ) Me: Ugh what did the principle say ? Austin: I dont know he wasn't there i will know tomorrow Me: Well isnt that just fuckin peachy I guess i am going to have to come bail your ass out of this one ...No on second thought dont call home, I laready know about it just dont even call me dammit Ugh i dont know what to do anymore, it seems like everyday it something new with him, Please someone tell me it is Hormones taking over his body that is making him Satan's child, because i dont know this boy anymore.

The answer to the question is ..... yes there was a time when i was mean to other people, i think we are all guilty of it, at one time or another. But here is something i have been wrestling with for the past couple of days. Friday was Homecoming, so there was a parade, My mom came to pick up the kids, Austin walked out to the truck and seen this girl Brittney was in the back of my mom's truck and he turned around and came back in the house. He was fuming when he came in. I asked him why he wasn't going and he began to tell me half pissed half crying about something that had been going on in shchool he has beeen keeping to himself. Apparently a group of kids at school is giving austin a hard time, making fun of him because he wears glasses, and then tellin him his mother is a fat bitch, his step dad is a slob, and if they had a mother as fat as me they would slit their wrists. well of course this pissed me off, hurt me, made me sad, guiltly... all the emotions a mother could feel at that moment. When my mother came over on sunday he told her why he didnt go My mom confronted brittney and told her dont fuck with my family and never ever talk about my daughter again. Big deal she is fat, but she is a good mom and a awsome person. if you can't see past that, it is your own stupidity, and likeing someone on the basis of what their parent looks like is the most immature thing she has ever heard of. Well tonight I played Bunko with my mom 3 of my aunt, my great aunt and another woman. Well Malika was there and i asked her about her lil friend Brittney, and why she said that about me, Malika went off on me, and got all irate and said well austin started it, I said my gawd malika is that the best you can come up with, i mean my god we are talking about teenagers here not 4 yr olds. well malika is pissed, and she should be because if i had friends like that who made me look guilty by association i would be pissed too. anyhow i am very upset by all of this and austin swears to me he didnt do anything to Brittney. But they swear austin came up to them and out of the blue called this lil girl a whore. WHATEVER anyhow thats my bitch for the night

As a mother of 4 one would think i know a lot about being a parent, but the fact of the matter is i am still learning, and will continue to learn every day as my children grow older. In the past week i have learned no matter how sick you are, your children come 1st and formost in your life, I may have been on my last leg this week finally giving in and going to the ER and getting a shot for pain and some meds to deal with my own illness i have gotten from the rude fuckers who came to my house sick. Tonight i learned a valuable lesson when it comes to Kenedi our 6 month old daughter When she hurts, when she is sick, when she is clogged up. I feel her pain. Although i cannot relive the sickness itself, i can Aleviate the symtpoms she is going through. I sat in the livingroom with her on the couch in front of me, with 3 different kinds of medicine, as i cursed my aunt while my daughter lay in front of me crying to the point of almost losing her small fragile voice. Dropper after dropper of bad tasting medicine i forced it down her, feeling so guilt ridden in the process but knowing it was for her own good, 3 more days i keep telling her 3 more days and we will be done with this nasty stuff. as i cleaned her up, stuck a bulb syringe up her nose, and cleaned her up again, changing her diaper, her cries soon faded, I picked up my small child and i kissed her gently as the cries were gone and here was my happy girl, Able to breath, and suck a paciier at the same time. I was relieved and pissed all in the same moment, seeing how we wouldnt be going through any of this if the aunt and her snot nosed brats had not come over here in the 1st place. Like i said i learn something new everyday when it comes to all 4 of my kids, even through the week having to take one of my 8 yr old twins to the ER to get staples in his head. I learned that kids are resilant most of the time, and will most always bounce back, he was out on the field cheering his team on saturday nite at their football game because he cant play with a hole in his head. But he still suited up and was out on that sideline being the exceptional kid he always is. Sometimes i think we as adult could take a lesson in life from kids, Just keep bouncing back, if you fall down ... dust off your ass and do it again till you get it right.

Today i was blindsided by a little piece of my past i never wanted to relive. 6 yrs ago i left my ex husband because he beat the shit out of me one night in a fit of rage. He fractured several bones in my fave including the bone under my left eye. I wore that black eye for 3 months along with my eye being filled with blood, a concusion and some memory loss, Like the birth of My children. Time has healed most of my wounds mentally and Physically but today this cold brought back something i would not wish on my worst enemy. Being that the bone under my eye is chipped, If i get a sinus infection or a cold of any kind and the drainage that comes with it, My eye swells up and the pain is almost unbearable. well today i blew my nose and felt this pop, and loe and behold my left eye is all swollen, my head is killing me and i have been crying all night because the pain is so bad. It feels like 6 yrs ago all over again this really fuckin sucks ass

Well this will be my 1st LC blog, I was going to make it short and sweet but then thought ... Fuck that. Then i changed my mind again Ok so i have this monster cold right now, Thanks to my Evil aunt and her SNOT NOSED grandkids. David and Kenedi have had this cold for a couple more days then i have though. So here i am sick as hell, feeling no relief, I finally give in and take a dose of Nyquil only to find out about 5 minutes later Face on fire, Hives breaking out all over my skin that I AM ALLERGIC TO THE SHIT! So not only do i feel like shit, But my skin is now on fire. So i am a lil pissed at the ole Auntie for bringing this fucking shit in my home in the 1st place, I have decided I am going to send her ass a lil care package of cat shit in the mail tomorrow. with a note attached that says " You brought your Shit to my house, I am sending some shit to yours." See how she likes that "Shit"