RYAN Club United Member Princess Leias ...'s blog: "Recover Your Happines"

God said, "Adam, I Want you to do Something for Me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?" God said, "Go down Into that valley." Adam said, "What's a Valley?" God explained it to Him. Then God said, "Cross the river." Adam said, "What's a River?" God explained that To him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...." Adam said, "What is a Hill?" So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On The other side of the Hill you will find a Cave." Adam said, "What's a Cave?" After God explained, He said, "In the cave You will find a woman." Adam said, "What's a Woman?" So God explained That to him, too. Then, God said, "I Want you to Reproduce." Adam said, "How do I do that?" God first said (under His breath), "Geez....." And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to Adam, as well. So, Adam goes down Into the valley, Across the river, and Over the hill, into the Cave, and finds the Woman. Then, in about five Minutes, he was back. God, His patience Wearing thin, said Angrily, "What is it Now?" And Adam said.... * * (YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!) * * * * * "What's a headache?"

If I could catch a rainbow I would do it just for you; and share with you its beauty, On the days you're feeling blue. If I could build a mountain you could call your very own; A place to find serenity, A place to be alone. If I could take your troubles I would toss them in the sea, But all these things I'm finding are impossible for me. I cannot build a mountain or catch a rainbow fair, But let me be what I know best, A friend who's always there. A friend is like a flower, a rose to be exact, Or maybe like a brand new gate that never comes unlatched. A friend is like an owl, both beautiful and wise. Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, whose spirit never dies. A friend is like a heart that goes strong until the end. Where would we be in this world if we didn't have a friend. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. There are at least 2 people in this world that would die for you. You mean the world to someone. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look again. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks

#1...Can you cry under water? #2...How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? #3...Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? #4...Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to? #5...Why does a round pizza come in a square box? #6...How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? #7...Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? #8...Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? #9...Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? #10...Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. #11...If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? #12...Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? #13...Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" #14...Or watch a white thing come out of a chicken's behind and think, "that ought to taste good." #15...Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? #16...If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? #17...Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? #18...Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? #19...Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? #20...Why did you just try singing the two songs above? #21...Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? #22...Where does the other sock go to? #23...Is the glass half empty or half full? #24...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? #25...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? #26...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? #27...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? #28...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? #29...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? #30...Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? #31...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? #32...If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? #33...Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white? #34...Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? #35...Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? #36...Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? #37...Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you try first? #38...How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? #39...When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" #40...Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? #41...In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? #42...The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. #43...Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? #44...If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? #45...Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? #46...Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it is called cargo? #47...Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? #48...Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one? #49...Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? #50...Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? #51...How can someone "draw a blank"? #52...If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away? #53...Why do 'tug' boats push their barges? #54...Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting? #55...Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving? #56...Does a fish get cramps after eating? #57...Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? #58... Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"? #59...When they ship polystyrene, what do they pack it in? #60...How do you KNOW it's new and improved dog food? #61...Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slowly?

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his > >> money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. > >> > >> Just before he died, he said to his wife, 'When I die, I want you to > >> take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my > >> money to the afterlife with me.' > >> > >> And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when > >> he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. > >> > >> Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting > >> there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. > >> > >> When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready > >> to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait just a minute!' She had a box > >> with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the > >> undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. > >> > >> Her friend said, 'I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money > >> in there with your husband.' > >> > >> The loyal wife replied 'Listen, I'm a Christian; I can't go back on my > >> word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket > >> with him.' > >> > >> 'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?' > >> > >> 'I sure did' said the wife'. 'I got it all together, put it into my > >> account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.'

© Sandra Lewis Pringle, sent by Wendy Hinson From Sandra's book Sing Loudly as Lions Roar. If I could catch a rainbow, I would do it, just for you, And, share with you, its beauty, on the days you're feeling blue. If I could, I would build a mountain, you could call your very own. A place to find serenity, a place just to be alone. If I could, I would take your troubles, and toss them into the sea. But, all these things, I'm finding, are impossible for me. I cannot build a mountain, or catch a rainbow fair; but, let me be, what I know best, A Friend, who's always there. I promise to defend you, should the occasion ever rise, And, I promise to wipe away the tears, which might stream from your weeping eyes. Let me be the trusted Friend, the one that you know best. I will never leave you, on that, you can surely rest.

I may not be popular I may not be loved but deep down i know someone cares from up above people can be nice if they want friends can break your heart parents can take away which brings the love apart many things maybe said about you things that are not true but the more you pray and think about it it wont happen to you before you say anything to get someone mad think about it and talk to them to get them glad

Love is like an illness that we can't hide it for. Love is like a flame, We never know when it comes and heat us or burn us down. Love can make us happy but can make our life misserably.. Love is an emotion that is hard to show, Love also helps make a relationship grow, Love can be hard to cope with, isn't it true? Especially when the person you love doesn't love you. Love is a coma and go thing that sometimes may last long, It can also be a comforting word when all hope is gone. Love is kinds like it should be, Love is not an object that someone wants, Love is a great emotion this we all know, SO find someone to love and let your love flow

IRISH DRINKING TOAST ! When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven! GOTTA LOVE MY IRISH ROOTS :) CHEERS TO ALL MY FRIENDS !

Sometimes, in the night, a journey through time yesterdays smiles awaken in the morning due but never was I lost in the pale darkness just hours before the rising of the sun Falling in and out of love I could never do for once I loved, I always loved, never stopped never for even a moment would my memory cease of the beauty I would find within a heart Words are always misused when making a statement so profound are those words used so carelessly I love you, without meaning, they softly drift away when spoken from the heart, they linger forever I've said those words to so very few and my heart feels so empty and cold until my children awake and smile at me another day can continue for me to dream.....

A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed, "Stop! Please! You aren't going to cut it off, are you?" Placing the saw in her husband's hand and with a gleam of revenge in her eye, the wife replied, "Of course not! I'm going to set fire to the shed. You do whatever you have to do!"