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Midnight Angel

It's dark.....It's late....
And you feel so alone.
You're tired but you can't sleep;
You lie there, listening to your pulse
Race through your body
As you wait for your midnight angel to appear.

She's the one you love
Yet won't have.....
The one closest to you
Yet a world apart....
You anxiously await her arrival each night
In the dark sanctuary of your mind.

One look into her dark eyes
And you see her love for you......
One kiss from her sweet lips
And you taste her passion for you.....
One touch of her tiny hand
And you feel a jolt in your very being.....
A connection so strong
Neither time nor space and pierce it.....
A soul connection like you've never felt before--
And never will again.

Think hard enough
And you can smell her.....
Think harder still
And maybe you'll feel your midnight angel next to you
Instead of her.

Alas the sun rises and she must go,
Back to the secret corner of your mind....
You try to pretend she's not there just to get through the day
But the tiniest thing
Brings a flash, a glimpse
A vision of her......
And you wait once more for you midnight angel to appear

How was the funeral?

My mom died October 2; she had been in the hospital for 2 weeks, but it was still a shock because she was actually getting better, then crashed overnight.  It's been really hard for me because (A) she's all I've had since my dad died when I was 2 years old and (B) we lived together.  I know it's hard to find the right words to offer someone when the lose a loved one, but the stupidest question by far has been "How was the funeral?"

How was it?  It RAWKED, dude!  The dancing bears we had imported from a Russian circus really won everybody over!  And since my brother works for a Budweiser distributor, the company loaned us the Budweiser Clydesdales to pull Mom's casket to the opposite fucking side of town!  We were going to have Chippendale dancers at each end of her casket, but thought that might have been a bit over the top....

If you don't know what to say, just say "I'm sorry for your loss" and LEAVE IT AT THAT!!!!!!!

Ugh, another commercial to donate to a charity in need. I can't take much more of those. This was for the World Wildlife Fund, on how the polar bears are losing their habitat due to global warming, and they show this Mama Bear with her cute little cubs. I am COMPELLED to send them money. Fuck my car payment--I can't let Mama and her babies die!!!!! That's just as bad as the ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan. If they got a dollar for every time I cried watching those poor mistreated kitties and puppies, they would be LOADED!!!! Well gee whiz...I guess I can pay my car insurance on my next payday. That kitten needs me!! Seriously, I don't send money to these places all willy-nilly, but why do I want to save the world when I can't even figure out what's going on in my own life right now??? Somebody PLEASE shoot me....

Week from Hell

It's only Wednesday, and this week already sucks. Work has just been a bitch. Nothing works right, including half of the fucking staff. Point #1: we have what's called verification scales. When we are filling a prescription, we first scan the label of the script we're filling, then scan the barcode on the bottle to verify we have the right drug. There are 2 of these handy little devices for speedy filling...but only one of them works. Point #2: No incoming faxes, which makes for really pissy customers and even pissier doctors. Point #3: No air conditioning. It's 90 fucking degrees outside, and the a/c in the pharmacy dies. So we have a box fan to circulate hot air around. Oooh...aaaah. Point #4: My doctors' office has moved, but not to where they claim to be. Now I try to keep my visits to a minimum, mainly just to review my lab work I have to have done 3 to 4 times a year. I wake up yesterday with a sore throat, no biggie. Today it's a MAJOR sore throat with a fever. I spend 2 hours driving around Creation to where they had told me they were moving to. SURPRISE! They haven't moved in yet. I call, get a generic message with their "new" address. I drive out there and all I find is an empty fucking office with a "for lease" sign in the window. I end up driving to the other end of Creation to the only urgent care my insurance accepts--in and out in under a half hour. Point #5: I end up having strep throat. If it's only the middle of the week, what the fuck else could happen?
Much to my delight, our psycho pharmacy tech is being axed. *hmmm, perhaps "axed" is not the term to use for a crazy woman....* Just saying she is a flipping psychopath doesn't even begin to describe what we have been dealing with for the past 7 months. She walks around with the goofy smile and these tiny squinty eyes, and from day 1 I told management that darkness lies behind that smile. It's like she's envisioning disemboweling you, and strangling you with your own entrails. And the inappropriate giggling....NO ONE will have spoken and she'll burst out with laughter. I don't know whether one of her personalities told a joke and she won't share it with us or what. I just hope that the company will pay for kevlar vests for all of us since she will probably come in to pick up her final paycheck with a semi automatic.

Merry freakin' Christmas

It's about noon on Christmas Eve, I still have to go to work, and now I'm sick on top of it....this totally blows. Ho-ho-ho.
I don't know what it is this year, but I have heard some of the WORST Christmas songs, by far. At dinner tonight, for example: we're at a fairly nice local steakhouse, and they piped in the most Goddess-awful holiday music! The first tune that catches my attention is "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"...I swear the guy singing it had his nuts caught in a mouse trap. It was horrible!!! There was a brief reprieve with some normal holiday tunes. Then I hear some American Idol reject caterwalling her way into some Christmas cheer. Nothing can ruin a good steak like this drivel. Then there was the teen queen who was going to email Santa....guess what, honey? HE DOESN'T CARE!!!! At work it's not much better. I think our corporate office bought the Sheryl Crow Christmas album, because I think every other song is hers...and they suck. She has this version of "Blue Christmas"...if you're not depressed when the song begins, you will be when it's over. Her whiny voice mixed with some twang-twang country riffs make you want to grab a gun and shoot yourself since you can't shoot her. I'm not exactly a tradionalist...take a look at my Christmas playlist. But some people should just leave well enough alone.
Is it just me, or is this bar tab thing getting a little ridiculous? I just signed on to find that not only Friend A just uploaded a photo, but Friend B commented on Person X's blog "Blah Blah Blah", and Friend A also left Goddess Knows Who a profile comment. Guess what? I DON'T CARE!! Pretty soon the bar tab will be filled with every action of every damn person on here. STOP THE INSANITY!!
The past week has just sucked in general. My sister has been in the hospital since Wednesday...she's a severe asthmatic (from the time she was two), and she has a nasty strain of pneumonia. (It is streptococcal pneumonia, usually a drug-resistant strain, and it has spread to her bloodstream) Long story shortened, she is doing better, but now that she feels better she is going back to her usual ungreatful self. I've been running like crazy between going to work, being at the hospital, checking on her apartment, and doing her laundry. I try to help out as much as I can but it so irritating when you feel like it's not appreciated. Then my mom and I had the annual argument over the Thanksgiving turkey. She asked what I wanted to cook it in; I responded by questioning if we want to roast it in the oven, or on the rotisserie? Evidently the rotisserie is just blasphemous, because I was informed that I could change things when she dies, cook it in the damn oven. I'm already on the edge of sanity, and TurkeyGate was the last thing I needed. And to top off a perfectly lousy week, someone deliberatly ran over one of the neighborhood stray cats that comes by and dines at my house. I tried to bring him in my house and introduce him slowly to my 3 house cats, but he wanted no part of that indoor stuff. It breaks my heart that people just throw these wonderful little furballs away like yesterday's trash. Unfortunately I can't save them all, much as I try. (For the record, 2 of my cats are 10 years old, and the 3rd turned 20 years old last month...I DO take care of my kids). He got a proper burial with the rest of mine in my backyard, but it was the last straw to send me into my downward spiral of apathy and mild depression. Worry not, my friends...I'll snap out of it. There's nothing anyone can do, and things will get better. I just needed to rant a bit and get it off my chest.
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