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You know when you meet someone, your natural instinct is to be honest and straight forward. Well for some. Me I have a tendency to trust too easily, as a good friend of mine told me recently. I guess that's part of my character. I've always had this thing to get EVERYONE to like me, in fear of rejection. But what i didn't realize is that me acting that way has caused me to be rejected continuously throughout my life. Stupid me. If anyone showed any kind of emotion to me, I ran to that person like a gulible little puppy. About 95% trusting. Yes I am a gulible person and I dont really like that. A lot of people see that and most have taken advantage of that. I was told to be more reserved. I just dont know how to do that. Im an open person. I let people know how and where I stand and then my gulibility sets in. Though I wish people didnt feel they have to fuck me over in any way, its gonna happen. After all we are all human. Whether its someone who wants to see the good in everyone or that person who sees an open door to get what they want by taking advantage of someone who trusts them. What they dont realize is that when they are taken advantage of, it does something to them that changes them. For me, its not good. My self doubt kicks in and I get into this funk thats really hard for me to get out of. My temper shows way too much and it hurts the people who truely love and care for me. And it makes me a resentful person. Not only am I mad for what bad someone did to me but i am also mad at myself for being so vulnerable. But as again Im human. Im not saying this to a particular person, Im just ranting. One of the ways ive learned to vent my frustration. Sometimes it helps and sometimes its just a waste. But only to those who choose it to be. But just remember.. Do onto others how others undo to you..........
