JBones MoonDawg's blog: "Randoms"

So we all have rules as to what we will and will not do on Fubar. What is acceptable, when/who to block or report etc. and I have been wanting to write this for some time now just for my own personal reasons.

Helping: If you need my help just ask me. If I can I will. If you come at me sideways and/or spastic because I didn't put you in my Family while running a Famplifier just because we live in the same town or some other stupid reason when I don't even know you, then chances are I will never help you. I don't hold grudges, but I also don't tolerate immaturity or disrespect.

I will not get engaged or married on Fubar or any other social media site. To me this is a waste of time, money, resourses, and creates a false illusion of "love" for many here. With the exception of people who are already a couple in their personal lives. Ladies and Gentlemen: Online relationships DO NOT WORK!!!!!

If your Default Picture shows you with your middle finger up, I will not like, rate, comment, bling, or interact with you in any way. I don't care if you are running every peice of Special Ability Bling there is and a Gazillion points/Fubucks. 

Ladies: If you are posting pics of yourself (and I think you are hot), I am going to look at them. Please do not assume that just because I like and rate you that I am automatically interested in you: I am here to play the game of Fu, If I am interested in you I will say so. And again, online relationships DO NOT WORK!!!!!  Flirtation is fine, it is fun, and on occastion can lead to an interesting and fun time, but I will not get "involved" with any one here ever.  I have met some really cool people here and would not mind meeting them and hanging out for some fun and good times if they were in the same place geographically. 

Bling: Most of us love the bling here and I am no exception. I do waste money on the blings, especially the SA Bling. If you do send me a bling, please do it because you either want to, or if we have made some sort of agreement to trade, buy, sell each other bling. If you are EXPECTING me to buy you bling just because you bought me bling you may be disapointed.

Respect: This is important to us all, yet I see disrespect every day here. If you ask me to join your lounge or mafia or ask me to do something that I do not want to do, I will not accept and I will decline in a respectful and curtious manner, and I will also thank you for the opportunity. If after I have declined and you still persist I will block you. If you are/were a friend of mine and this occures, then you were not really a friend and I will disolve that relationship with no explanation. 

MUMM's: An endless form of entertainment. I occasionally post mumm's for points. I do not really have any trouble making up my mind about anything, usually. I do read the replies and while some of them are meant to incite a reaction or just trying to be mean spirited, and others are actually trying to be helpful, I rarely respond to any of them. I do believe in the freedom of speach, and we all have the right to say what we wish, I will never try to squash the American way of life or anyones rights. However, if I do choose to respond to a comment you have left on my mumm's, don't come at me sideways because I hurt your little feeler, you chose to engage, so deal with it. 

Lounges: I belong to 3 lounges. One of these is the Fubar Help Lounge, while i'm unsure if this is a mandatory lounge to belong to, it is a default, and I do sometimes have need of their services so I stay joined with that lounge. I have a private lounge for a specific Self-Help Social Model Group that I belong to, and Rag Dolls, where I have met the most down to earth, honest, fun loving and free spirirted people I could ever hope to meet in RL. I am loyal to this lounge and the people in it. I have visited many lounges in Fubar, and find them sadly lacking in manners, personality, ambience, and full of hateful drama. Your Parent's would be damn proud. 

Blockage: I rarely block, I'm an adult, and if there is a problem I can handle dealing with it, and if it is my fault I will own it and I hope everyone else would do the same, but I do not expect it, so I am rarely disapointed. I do not care one way or the other if you block me. That is your right and there are no hard feelings on my part for it. I have no emotional attachment to most of you and there are a few new members everyday to take your place. 

Likes 2: I go through the home page defaults and hit those like buttons in order. I have discovered that there is a 10% return on those likes from the women, and 1% from the guys. So yes, I like the women more than the men. Not to mention that with most of the mens statuses I almost feel gay if i like them. I also put those in my Family on top priority. This doesn't mean that I like them first before anyone else; gotta get those RS's before they expire :p , but it does mean that they will be liked and rated every day and I will use my ability points on them first. 

We are all here for different reasons and have different views, beliefs and such. I am here for the same reasons as many of you. I am here to play the game of Fubar, make a friend here and there, interact with people and have fun in a general way and kill some time. I really like being here at Fubar and as long as I keep the reasons why I am here clear in my head and heart it's all good. I also hope that you have a blast while you here as well.

What is it really? Coming out on top of a seemingly unsurmountable and deadly circumstance? Going through life changes without killing someone or yourself? Pushing your limits past expectations and finding a reserve you never knew you had? living through and beating the odds of some disease? Sure, these are good examples of survival. 

What most of you know about survival is what you are fed through the media: heartfelt glimpses of a homeless Vet who finally comes out on top on some Life Time Movie of the week: A street urchin who gets adopted into the family of the year. And granted, that really does happen, sometimes. Right now there are thousands of homeless Vets who are surviving who will never see that happy ending, and even more Children who are learning how to rob, steal, burglarize and even murder just to get by another day. Most of these will become addicted to drugs and/or alcohol to help take away their pain, which in turn perpetuates the cycle. 

I lived that latter life. I was homeless for 15 years, doing drugs and alcohol and committing crimes to feed my habits, and myself when the drugs ran out. I used to hang out behind Pizza Hut's for the end of shift through-outs, dive in McDonalds dumpsters, beg for change, and things you would/could not believe a human being capable of, just to survive. And that's when you get to know who you are: who you REALLY are inside. What you are capable of and what you will and will not do when the shit hits the fan. My survival mode is strong, and it is in direct proportion to my will to stay alive. 

Which brings me to point of this little blog post: Every year at this time, we give thanks for all we have, all we have accomplished, and the gifts we have recieved. Thanks for friends and family and the Starbucks Barrista who always gets our order right from memory. We thank our Vets for our freedom, our Parents for protection as kids and support in our lives. And this is all good. Then some of you will get generous and donate some old things not needed to a shelter or program, serve meals at a soup kitchen, put an extra 5 in the donation bucket, and then repeat this process around Christmas time. Thank You all for that.  And then we resume our lives as normal once again on the Second of January, while that homeless person is still behind McDonalds waiting for the trash to come out so he can feed his kids. While that junkie pulls a knife for someones cash for his next fix, just to keep from getting sick while he waits to get into a rehab that he just can't afford. And the children left alone to fend for themselves because Mom and Dad were killed and there was no one to care for them. The list goes on and on. 

What I know is that more and more of us are begining to see the ugly side of what life can be like and are actually starting to live that life because of our econonomic times. And more will follow. I truly hope your survival insticts are strong. I also know that you do not have to resort to some of the levels that I have gone to in order to do that. 

I'm not asking for anything from anyone of you who may read this, save this: when you lay your head on your pillow, and are reflecting on your day, give thanks for all you are blessed with, and maybe wish for some of that to be gifted on those who are less fortunate than you. 

I had my first motorcycle at 13. It was a Honda 75 Enduro, and was hooked on riding since then. Tearing up the desert in northern Nevada was heaven. I have had a few bikes since then and know that riding is in my blood. I had happened on a few old outdated magazines called "In the Wind", and "Easyriders", and while I knew they existed, had never owned a Harley. I read the articles, and the stories about how it was to be free in the wind, the joy of the open road and no real destination in mind, but in those same stories were countless accounts of these machines breaking down and I thought "why the hell would anyone pay for something that costs more to fix than own, and spend more time in the shop than on the road ??? Fucking insanity !!! Right? I decided that a Harley was not for me. Then one day, I was in my local harley shop (they do have really nice gear), and as usual, a salesman would come up and start a convo about which bike I rode, and once they learned that I did not have a Harley, they would try to sell me one, and I would always decline. No offense, I never really liked many styles of Harley's. I don't know why, but I gave in to this particular salesman, we ran my credit and I was approved for financing, so I looked around at all the bikes in the shop, and was captivated by a 1999 FXDWG. Black with a Phoenix head on the tank, chromed everything and a Screaming Eagle Stage 2 kit, straight pipes and lowered. It felt good when I sat on it, and I fell in love with it from 1st gear. (See Pics). The lowering of the frame actually made this heavy bike easy to handle, and gives it a lower center of gravity, which, while sitting still at an intersection makes it practically stand up by itself. The 88 cubic inch engine (1450 cc) is a beast of a motor, and the stage 2 kit just makes it meaner: runs out of gears before it runs out of power. I have always wondered why speedometers on bikes rarely reflect how fast that bike will go. *shrug*  I have since lost that bike due to separation and practicality, but will have another. It will be a '99 Dynawide Glide, and it will be mine. 

So once again, find myself trying to help someone who doesn't really want to help herself. She came to us asking for help, and clearly she needs help, but she also clearly (hindsight) doesn't want help. She wanted me (us) to do things her way. NOT gonna happen. The ugly side is that she just might end up DOA of an overdose on the streets real soon, and as calous as it sounds, that's sometimes the price we pay for stubborn pride and egocentricity. This is something Iwe go through on a daily basis, and it does get frustrating sometimes, especially when it is some one so young, who has their whole life ahead of them, and yet we still try, because we understand from experience what it is like for them. May God bless and keep them safe until they are ready. We understand, and we will keep trying to help, because that is the essence of what helps us.

So here's my hair-pulling non-understanding take on this event: WHEN IT'S OVER IT'S OVER!!! For the life of me I cannot comprehend the "let's stay friends" concept. I do understand the need for being civilized towards each other IF there are children involved, but that's it. How and why people choose to stay in a less involved relationship is beyond me. Usually they end badly; name calling, blaming, violence, and general animosity towards each other. And it serves to stunt a persons personal growth and ability to move on. Like they are holding onto a hope that maybe someday if they change that all will be well and they get back together again. For what? To just repeat the same old mistakes and behaviors? I tried this exercise once, and I still beat myself up for it... what the hell was I thinking??? It's nothing more than a constant reminder of how the relationship failed and causes me more anger and frustration and prevented me from learning from that mistake, prevented me from actual healing, and damaged any potential for a more in depth and healthier relationship in the future with someone different. So if you find yourself in this in this situation, you owe it to yourself to honestly and openly assess your reasoning behind a continued yet lessened relationship. 

If any should read this be aware that I am irreverent and nonsensical at times, I'm thinking that a previous life in the seedy dark underground of drugs might have something to do with that. I was a hardcore dopefiend living on the streets of America for a very long time. I won't go into detail about that kind of life unless asked and even then, I'll shed light on it as a very negative experience, save to say that through that, I have found a different way of life that to me, is nothing short of incredible. As of today I have over 18 years clean & sober and try to help others like me get and stay clean & sober. I am currently employed at a Detox Center and work with our Men and Women in the Armed Services who are having severe problems with alcohol and drugs. And while the hours are bad, at least the pay sucks... but the pay-off is priceless. In the very near future, I will have finished my current educational goals and be Certified with 48 States to practice counciling. And then on to an MA in Psychology.

I'm a Navy brat myself, and having caught my first felony before I was 18 they would not accept me in any branch of service, so I continued with my lifestyle of drugs, sex, and yes, rock and roll. 

I don't judge anyone with any kind of drug history... in fact, I sometimes envy those who are predispositioned to be able to use socially, and/or drink like a normal person, my hats off to you. These are things I have never been able to do, and will never be able to do. 

I am highly intelligent with an IQ of over 165, and still do some of the stupidest things. I am also an artist by nature, and highly creative. I love to read, write, and can't stand math, or to be totally honest, numbers baffle me. They make my head hurt. I have recently gotten into photography as well... so if there are any Fu's out there in my area who are wanting to get some profile pics done from a different perspective rather than the self-shots in the mirror, gimme a holla. No worries, I do know how to remain professional.

As to Fubar: I am still new at this, so I still have a lot to learn. I am undecided as to whether or not I will go full bore with all the blings and leveling ups and so on, that is not why I joined. As you will undoubtedly notice, all my friends here are female at this time. This will change over time as I get more comfortable with people here. I am not looking for anything in particular, just exploring, I'm a curious sort of person. 

On that note, I'll stop there as I have a client coming in for an intake. 

If you have any questions don't hesitate, my life and self are pretty open and I can be brutally honest at times, so be prepared for that.