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It's times like tonite that i miss you most mamma... i know we didn't get to spend alot of time together before HE said it was ur time but i do miss the time we did get to spend together. It was the best summer of my life to this day... I think i miss our long talks the most, bout anything n everythinggggg.. I sure could use one of those talks right now. You always knew what i was thinkin b4 i even said it. I miss you tryin to teach me to play the guitar lol..... boy was that a mess n a half but you never once lost your patience with me. Your song "The Rose by Conway" is still one of my favorites to this day n i think of you every time i hear it. I know you're watchin down over me n i can even feel you here with me at times but it's still not the same. You're always in my thoughts n in my heart mamma.... I just reallyyyyyy wish i could be in ur arms right now.... things would seem so much easier.
Ya know it's bad when ya get to that point when ya can't even make sense of the thoughts goin through ur own head. I try soooo hard to be strong for everyone round me but maybe it's time i admit i'm not super woman anymore. I just feel sooooo lost n confused these days n dunno wtf to do bout it. I know i have ppl close to me i could talk to but hell what do i say when i can't even make sense of the shit.
In bout a week from today is my middle son's bday n knowin the fact that i'm not even gonna get to talk to him cause of his fk head father just kills me. I feel like the worst person in the world.
