Just had some random thoughts in my head and thought that I would get them out. I can't really talk to anyone about the thoughts that I have, because they are merely thoughts as I am merely a female. lol. It's funny how I can be going down the road and have all kinds of random thoughts, but I get here to post in a blog and can't think of anything that I had going on. I know a lot of it's got something to do with what's going on. Which as usual, there's a lot going on. I don't like the way I look. I don't like the way I feel. I'm not liking a whole lot lately. There are things that I use to like, but not liking a whole lot anymore now. I'm not sure why. I don't feel happy. I know that I should. I have 2 loving children and a boyfriend. Not sure what's missing? I guess I'm just sick of this life, not that you care. I'm not the only with whom these feelings I share. I question what's wrong with me? Why am I not happy? Is it because I'm still bitter about some things? Is it because I think that the things that have happened before will happen again? I don't know. I don't like feeling like this. I cry a lot. I feel sad and alone. I should feel happy and loved. Not really sure why I don't. I have lost me. I use to be a loving person. Use to like going out and having fun and dancing. Not to much anymore. I guess part of it has to do with growing up and getting older and having kids and a boyfriend. I think some of my problems come from the fact that I'm about to turn 30 this summer. God, that really sucks ass!!! But no matter what, I wouldn't give anything for my kids, I love them bunches and bunches. I know that it's nothing, wait till you hit 40 and so on. But you know that you thought about the same thing at that time. It's cool. Just wish I had better support and understanding. Oh well. I'm use to it. It's alright. It'll get better one day. Um ok... That's enough bullshit for the day, I'm beginning to want to cry and not know why. I guess because what I really want to write I can't. I have to keep it bottled up. No one will understand. I'm use to that to. Ramble ramble is all I can do... good bye
