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Wow...where do I begin.
Today I read a story about a man in New Jersey that used to be a cop...he got busted for having sex with a cow. Not regular sex mind you...but he was getting oral love from a cow. Digest that for a moment. How EXACTLY do you convince a cow to give you a hummer? Do you sprinkle sugar on your wang and hope the cow thinks it's a sugar lick? Last time I checked cows don't have the best oral hygene AND snaggle teeth...reminds me of this girl....nevermind. So anyways...this didn't just happen once...oh no....that cow lovin was SO good he went back FOUR times. I can't even comprehend.
I am now on week 5 of not really eating fast food anymore. Gone are the days of double quarter pounders and french fries. Sometimes people here at work bring it in and I smell it. It's amazing my body's reaction to the smell. I want to punch out whoever is eating it and drag the meat into a corner and eat it like a beast.
I got busted Tuesday for thong watching at the gym. Word of advice...if you don't want people looking at your thong, don't wear low rise sweats to the gym and bend over in front of me. The gym isn't a fashon show...and if you are going to do that don't be surprised if I look cause as a dude you can't make eye contact with other dudes for too long or they will start asking you if you want to sauna together. Also...it's SUCH bad form to hang out in the sauna with your junk free to the wind. I't s public sauna not a gay bar. Cover your junk up.
I am really pissed that The Office season was so short. I support the writers and everything...and I understand the reason behind the strike and all...but still. This was an epic season for Jim and Pam and I feel like I got shorted...the season finale is next week, But god I can't wait for it to come out on DVD. There were some GOOD shows...especially after the strike. I am also pissed that Heroes didn't come back at all. WTF. I can't boycott it cause it's awesome...but I am taking the Hayden screen saver off for 2 days as a boycott. Just 2 days though...she's some hot jailbait. LOL
I need a new car. Suggestions appreciated. I saw a Jaguar today I loved. I also love the Audi A6 (Not Adams cause it's held together with bailing wire and gum) and the Saab. Suggestions?
Remember...life isn't fair when Derek Anderson gets $5 million a year and an NBA Championship ring and a Marine makes barely enough to stay above the poverty line. Hug a Marine....or any service member today....they are the only thing standing between you and the bad guys and they do it for $1300 a month.
