Stupid kidd's blog: "random emo shit"

Tomorrow is Alex's funeral. I've been okay most of this week... I think I will freak out tomorrow. I wrote a song for Alex... It's not dune but I hope to have it done by next thursday to record and have available to the public and most importantly, Alex's friends. It's sort of my own way to work throught things instead of letting it sit in my head and eat away at me. I'm rediculously stressed... but I do it to myself I guess....

Early this morning my friend Alex died of a seizure. He was 19 years old. Just got his liscence, looking to buy a car, and take on his grandpa's business. He was amazingly sarcastic and very quick to have a smart ass comment at any given moment. He was always one of the first to laugh, pretty crazy sense of humor. He could be so crude... but he was a really sensitive guy. ALWAYS bitched about girls, lol. Loved the nerd games... D and D... Magic. Loved anime. He loved to talk about D and D to mess with me because I never had any idea what was going on. Jen is right though, he was fortunate he didn't die alone and that he had great friends with him. Mike and Phil were talking with him on Instant Messenger... until he stopped responding. Mike got worried and tried calling... he didn't answer. An hour or so later, a police officer called to question Mike and phil and tell them that Alex had died. Mike called me at 3:30 this morning. When I talked to him earlier he had told me how worried he was. There just seemed to be a vibe or something. It was there, but then it just got confirmed... it still doesn't make it all seem real. Fuck.... it's all so hard to comprehend.

I love this new song by Evanescence called "good enough". It's just an amazingly romantic emo song. I love it with everything I'm worth. My ex boyfriend kissed me the other day... that totally messed with me. *sigh*... the world of being single is really weird to me. I haven't been single in a very long time. I am pissed that I haven't been able to live it up. I haven't slept with ANYONE since I've been single, lol. No I'm not a ho.... or a slut. lol, I just like some action every now and again. I'd also like to play with my band. Damn it.

Oh sweetness, listening to the new evanescence album!!! This is kcking so much ass, you people have no idea. You want to hear it? Go to evanescence.com and go to news and scroll on down until you can stream it on your preffered thingy mabopper!!!

There has been another school shooting here in Co. It's tragic anywhere really. It's just a huge tragedy when terrible things like this happen. It's not fair when young people die because of the evil in others. Sick fucking bastards.

woo... single life is kind of nice. Don't know though, lots of nice guys asking me out. That's kind of cool. I didn't think guys would actually do that. Thanks guys out there!!! lol. hmmm... school is frustrating.... Too much theory I don't know aobut. I really need to learn about figured bass. work sucks, my manager is getting married and I'm setting up both days of her wedding. Not... cool. I get stuck doing the most anal wedding known to man kind... fuck I hate weddings.

I really dig writing blogs. It's one of my new favorite things. This has been the absolute high light of my day... okay... not really. I'm just really super bored. What is of importance???? hmmm... Paul and I have found a couple of really great drummers we're considering for the band. Paul really wanted to play drums, and he's a good drummer. I think it's a great idea, but he has tracks that he wants to sing on and that he wants us to duet on. It wouldn't be too bad if we found a drummer who could also kick ass at guitar so that they could just switch out during a set, but paul has a left handed set which makes it even more difficult. The old line up is pretty much out the door and we're just scratching everything and writing new songs. We are keeping "Ghost in the Machine" and maybe "Emerge". If you want to hear those check out his myspace www.myspace.com/tarsus. Sweet shit. If you want to hear my crappy indie music it's www.myspace.com/stupidkidd. just do it.