hot mama's blog: "Ramblings of a hot mama"

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you find the answer in the journey and sometimes you find the answer at the end of the road. Sometimes you're too busy looking for the answer that you can't see that it's right in front of you. It's in that moment when you realize why things have happened, that you find peace within your journey. It's that moment when you realize how thankful you are for the answered or unanswered prayers.

I was surfing through my profiles all over the net when I came across a particular profile. I've looked at that profile hundreds of times, but today was different. For the 1st time I looked at that profile and I was at peace and thankful for those unanswered prayers. I was no longer angry by what had transpired previously. I finally realized that those things happened because better things await in the road ahead of me.

There's potential for greatness in every area of my life. I'm excited and nervous about the possibilities that may come my way. I have to quit limiting myself to the status quot. The sky's the limit and it's time for me to take a leap of faith and take a chance at a new adventure. If I don't try, then I've already failed. I'm ready to take a risk because I believe the risk will be well worth the reward.

I've been thinking alot lately, which can be quite dangerous for me. I'm coming up on the 2yr mark of when the kids and I left my ex. We've been staying with my parents because of my crazy early morning work schedule. I've noticed lately my mom making comments here and there about us having our own place someday. Which I completely and totally agree, we NEED our own place. My problem is I can't afford a place on my own, plus how would I balance work and getting the kids off to school? So, logical thinking is I need to find a roommate and move out. Only problem with that is there's nobody around here that I can trust with my kids. Plus I've been at my job for 12yrs and I don't wanna go looking for something else to fit the kids school schedule. Even though I have sole custody and physical custody of the kids, my ex has already told me that he'll fight me tooth and nail if I try to move out of state. I'm not sure if he would have a leg to stand on in court and I don't like confrontation so I honestly don't want to deal with him. I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place cuz I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I want to move and get out on my own, but I just don't know what to do anymore.