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Wow, last time I logged in it was CT, what happened..lol... My life has been so f'ing crazy, I finally moved out on my own and filed for that divorce from asshole I had been talking about for so damn long :-) YAY me!!! So I just thought I'd check in with all my old buddies on here and see what was up! Like I said it's been about 3 months too long since I have been here... Missed ya'll!! ~Gina
I had to answer a question to a teary eyed 8 year old Timothy this morning. He caught a glimpse of the news and asked if that was going to happen to Skylar when he left for college. OK. How can you answer this question honestly? We obviously do not know what's going to happen to any of us or our loved ones at any moment in time. All he knows is that in 2 years his beloved brother will be going off to this scary place called the real world. All the horrible shit you see on the news or they talk about in school. You have to ask the question are we making them more aware....Or are we desensitizing them??I as a parent am caught in this horrible spot. I want them to grow up safe, self-assured, feeling secure, NOT scared and anxious. Not hearing/seeing all the bad things and none of the good that is left in humanity. I don't know where I'm going with this, he just got me thinking I guess. OUR WORLD TODAY.... August. 1, 1966: Charles Whitman points a rifle from the observation deck of the University of Texas at Austin's Tower and begins shooting in a homicidal rampage that goes on for 96 minutes. Sixteen people are killed, 31 wounded Killeen, Texas, in 1991, when George Hennard plowed his pickup truck into a Luby's Cafeteria and shot 23 people to death, then himself May 21, 1998: 15-year-old boy shot six classmates at Heritage High School in Conyers, Georgia a suburban of Atlanta. He used weapons he stole from a locked gun cabinet in his home. . Littleton, Colo. On April 20, 1999, two teenagers killed 12 fellow students and a teacher before taking their own lives. The Amish school shooting occurred on the morning of Monday, October 2, 2006, when a gunman took hostages and eventually killed five girls (aged 7–13) and then killed himself at West Nickel Mines School, a one-room Amish schoolhouse in Nickel Mines, a village in Bart Township of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, United States April 16, 2007 Thirty-three people were killed, and 22 injured on the campus of Virginia Tech in what appears to be the deadliest shooting rampage in American history, according to federal law-enforcement officials. Many of the victims were students shot in a dorm and a classroom building. September 11, 2001, when nineteen terrorists affiliated with al-Qaeda hijacked four commercial passenger jet airliners. Each team of hijackers included a trained pilot. The hijackers intentionally crashed two of the airliners (United Airlines Flight 175 and American Airlines Flight 11) into the World Trade Center in New York City, one plane into each tower (1 WTC and 2 WTC), resulting in the collapse of both buildings soon afterward and irreparable damage to nearby buildings. The hijackers crashed a third airliner (American Airlines Flight 77) into the Pentagon in Arlington County, Virginia, near Washington, D.C. Passengers and members of the flight crew on the fourth aircraft (United Airlines Flight 93) attempted to retake control of their plane from the hijackers; that plane crashed into a field near the town of Shanksville in rural Somerset County, Pennsylvania. In addition to the 19 hijackers, 2,973 people died; another 24 are missing and presumed dead. The victims were predominantly civilians. WAR TOLL: Date Total In Combat American Deaths Since war began (3/19/03): 3308 Total Wounded: 24645 A reported total of almost 62,000 Iraqi deaths since the war started.... ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.... Sorry so random (and depressing), I guess I've just had an interesting, thought provoking morning.

Gonna try this again...

The kids have been good at least for the past couple of days, they know when something is wrong with me, I guess. I took a muscle relaxer earlier, am about to take a nice hot bath, then take a few (no more than 4, I'm ok) sleeping pills and pop my favorite man in the DVD player, Mr. Izzard, hmmm maybe some Robot Chicken, thanks for that Nate. If I still can't sleep I may jump off the roof...Just KIDDING...I'll just call up my good friend at 2AM(as has been done to me) for a laugh or 2. I am sure he will just LOVE that... I did call someone today I haven't spoke with in a long time and it was so nice to hear his voice, I miss you so much Bubba. We do need to get the kids together, SOON!!We talked for an hour, and he's going to go to Dark Sol's show with us on the 11th (at least he better!). Since he too was one of us sitting on the grass by the fence every lunch smoking and acting a fool at Meadowbrook (Matt Simpson a*k*a Wheels). Another east~sider as I so lovingly call us, don't we Eh~ver go away???LMAO..I'm glad we don't I miss the clan. The care free days & nights of just hanging out on George's corner(who remember's that..lol..Come on! ERWINS~~I know ya'll do..hehe) or Eddy's garage or just wandering aimlessly down the streets at all hours like we did, we thought we were invincible...Times change...I don't wanna grow up anymore.... Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

My dreams vs. reality

It's been so long since I've had the nightmares, I was actually beginning to think I was getting over them. I have been sleeping better & happier than I have been in so many years lately. Reality always kicks me in the ass, it comes back to haunt me in my deepest quietest moments when it knows it can effect me the most without me fighting back. Two nights in a row now of reliving horrid scenes, screaming inside, tormenting dreams. I don't want them back, I want the damn future, I'm sick of my fucked up past. I had to take xanax as soon as I woke up this morning my whole body was trembling, I haven't had to do that in awhile. I am still, hours later with hands shaking as I write this. I thought it was all gone, why is it back? Why can't they just leave me the fuck alone?? I refuse to go back into my fucking shell and shy away from people again. I have my friends back, some new, some old and I'm not going anywhere this time. It would be so nice to have someone to reach out and hold onto when it strikes instead of the empty sheets, just to have that little grasp of my present reality not my past. ~This too shall pass, right??~

NO SURGERY!!

Ok, to my friends and family that have all known what's been going on with Sky, he does NOT have to have surgery! I am so fucking relieved! As is he =)! He does have alot of rehabilating excersizes he has to do daily and he will be back on the field in about 3 weeks. First base isn't the same without him, lol, but I think it may strain his left shoulder going back into that position right away. Anyways I wanted to thank everyone who has sent me mesages about this and just wanted to let all of you know! HUGS TO EVERYONE =*)
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