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1) 94% of men lie about their dick size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men need to use extra large condoms. 2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect (no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the truth). (incidentally the average vaginal capacity is only 6 inches, for you women who think you can handle king dong) 3) 80% of American men are circumcised. Even though Pediatrics say it is not necessary. 4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can make your penis grow but time (most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20's) 5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size. 6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called "prostatic congestion." 7) Only 16% of men shave their privates. +Some stuff on the ladies+ ------------------------------ 1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do). 43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking", and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of women say they are "sexy". 2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong size bra. 3) 60% of women have had breast implants. 4) 75% of women like giving/getting oral sex. 5) 95% of women shave their privates. +Both+ -------------------------------- 1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and women. 2) 70% of high schoolers have had sex before they have graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage. 3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1 month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way. +5 Reasons Why Sex is Good+ --------------------------------------------- 1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150 calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your cholesterol and improve breathing circulation. 2) You won't get sick. According to research if you have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to get sick. 3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense of well-being. Women who have more sex were clinically proven to be less depressed than women who don’t have sex. 4) Makes you look better - [problem is, ugly people don’t get any]. Sex releases hormones in your which make your skin and hair softer and shinier and tone your physique. 5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate as those who did not indulge themselves at least once a month. It also makes you look younger. If you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to 10 years younger than you really are. Did You Know? ---------------------------------------- 1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up to running 75 miles!!!!
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding nforcement on I-15, North of MCAS Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching near the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and turned off. Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked onto a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. Back came a reply in true USMC style: Thank you for the message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air to ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar was destroyed. Thank you for your concerns. "Life Is Like A Jar Of Jalapenos - What You Do Today, Might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"

Your Social Security

Your Social Security Just in case some of you young whippersnappers (& some older ones) didn't know this. It's easy to check out, if you don't believe it. Be sure and show it to your kids. They need a little history lesson on what's what .and it doesn't matter whether you are Democrat of Republican. Facts are Facts!!! Our Social Security Franklin Roosevelt , a Democrat, introduced the Social Security (FICA) Program. He promised: 1.) That participation in the Program would be Completely voluntary, 2.) That the participants would only have to pay 1% of the first $1,400 of their annual Incomes into the Program, 3.) That the money the participants elected to put Into the Program would be deductible from Their income for tax purposes each year, 4.) That the money the participants put into the Independent 'Trust Fund' rather than into the General operating fund, and therefore, would Only be used to fund the Social Security Retirement Program, and no other Government program, and, 5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees Would never be taxed as income. Since many of us have paid into FICA for years and are Now receiving a Social Security check every month -- And then finding that we are getting taxed on 85% of The money we paid to the Federal government to 'put Away' -- you may be interested in the following: ------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Which Political Party took Social Security from the Independent 'Trust Fund' and put it into the General fund so that Congress could spend it? A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically Controlled House and Senate. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax Deduction for Social Security (FICA) withholding? A: The Democratic Party. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social Security annuities? A: The Democratic Party, with Al Gore casting the 'tie-breaking' deciding vote as President of the Senate, while he was Vice President of the US . ------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving Annuity payments to immigrants? AND MY FAVORITE: A: That's right! Jimmy Carter and the Democratic Party. Immigrants moved into this country, and at age 65, Began to receive Social Security payments! The Democratic Party gave these payments to them, Even though they never paid a dime into it! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Then, after violating the original contract (FICA), the Democrats turn around and tell you that the Republicans want to take your Social Security away! And the worst part about it is uninformed citizens believe it! If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of Awareness will be planted and maybe changes will Evolve. Maybe not, some Democrats are awfully Sure of what isn't so. But it's worth a try. How many people can YOU send this to? Actions speak louder than bumper stickers. AND CONGRESS GIVES THEMSELVES 100% RETIREMENT FOR ONLY SERVING ONE TERM!!!
For all of us that love and trust the Government! A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to anothe r NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.
I just tried this out and was pretty surprised at the result. Copy and paste this link and check it out. You will be amazed. http://www.crush007.com/v2/predict/1196630232cdb Let me know what you think. Rick

See if you can read this.

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it. ONLY FORWARD IF YOU CAN READ THIS

My 50 odd things

1. Do you like blue cheese? Hate it 2. Have you ever smoked heroin? I would never even think of doing that 3. Do you own a gun? not for a few years now 4. Your favorite song of all time? Kashmir - Led Zeppelin 5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? not much 6. What do you think of hot dogs? they suck 7. Favorite Christmas song? White Christmas 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee 9. Can you do push ups? sure 11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My watch... only thing I wear for bling 12. Favorite hobby? Play pool 13. Secret weapon to get the opposite sex? Not sure 14. Do you have A.D.D.? uuuhhh What was the question 15. What one trait do you hate about yourself? My weight 16. Middle Name? Russell 17. Name 3 thoughts at this moment? 1.Sex 2.Sex 3.and Sex 18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. 1. Orange Juice 2. Eggs 3. Bread 19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? 1. Coffee 2. Orange Juice 3. Pepsi 20. Current worry right now? Money 21. Current hate right now? No money 22. Favorite place to be? rafting on the river 23. How did you bring in the New Years? Sleeping 24. Where would you like to go? New Zealand 25. Name three people who will complete this? I wouldn't have the foggiest 26. Do you own slippers? Yep wearing them now 27. What shirt are you wearing? Monster (Local radio station) 28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No... 29. Can you whistle? No... 30. Favorite color? Dark blue 31. Would you be a pirate? I could do that 32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Even I don't want to hear me sing 33. Favorite girl's name? Monica 34. Favorite boy's name? Sean 35. What's in your pocket right now? Lint 36. Last thing that made you laugh? Messing with sasquatch commercial 37. best bed sheets as a child? Flannel 38. Worst injury you've ever had? Broken arm 39. Do you love where you live? Yes... No place better than the mountains of Montana 40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3 41. Who is your loudest friend? Depends on how drunk they are 42. How many dogs do you have? 0 43. Does someone have a crush on you? Not that I am aware of 45. What is your favorite book? Bible 46. What is your favorite candy? Snickers 47. Favorite Sports Team? Seattle Seahawks 48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Who is gonna die? 49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Playing on computer 50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I wish I could go back to sleep

My Fubar

Well here I sit at my keyboard wondering why I am bothering. I find I am getting bored with FUBAR and not sure if I want to stay. I posted a bulletin to see if I get any comments. Probably not. I am not sure why I am bored, maybe I am depressed and not just bored. I feel an emptiness inside and don't know where it comes from. What is it about fubar that draws everyone back? What draws me back? Maybe I just need to take a break and not log in for a week or so. Then when I do log in it may seem new and exciting again. Then again maybe my up coming birthday is getting me down and I don't realize it. Maybe I should start drinking again or at least for my birthday...LOL.. Maybe I just need to sleep for a day or two...LOL
I would like to apologize to all of those that I sent a comment to. The comment I am referring to is the “You’ve been F****d”. I have gotten some negative responses to that and I only passed it on in the spirit of having fun. I did not think that anyone would be offended by it, because it is like an adult tag game. You know “tag your it, catch me if you can”. Well I have learned my lesson on that one and please be assured that I will not pass on any of the crude and possible offensive comments that I receive. If you send it to me I will send it back in the same spirit of fun as it was given to me. I personally enjoy talking with most of the people that I have met on this site and feel that I have the start of some very good friendships. I want to nurture those friendships to strengthen them. To those of you that were not offended by the comment in question, please feel free to keep sending me more comments and I will return the favor. Again I am sorry if you were offended and I will not make that mistake again.

Soldiers

Lest WE Forget The average age of the military man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's; but he has never collected unemployment either. He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155 mm howitzer. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop or stop until he is told to march. He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts. If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low. He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job. He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death then he should have in his short lifetime. He has stood atop mountains of dead bodies, and helped to create them. He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed. He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom . Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is Our own Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood. And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so. As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot.. A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets.
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