Eire's blog: "Poetry"

How Dare You ... How dare you look at me the way you do, with wide, gleaming eyes filled with wantoness and shadowed dark with subtle beckoning. How dare you move the way you do, all smooth muscle and taut sinew. How dare you lure my senses, smelling of sweet earth, rain and cloves. How dare you make me hunger, with bitten, bruised lips, placing the taste of your need into my mouth. How dare you bind and gird yourself with metal and leather, making soft unyeilding flesh swell and strain within it's confines. How dare you offer yourself to me, like a jewel laid upon a velvet cloth, the radiant essence of your loins, spilling forth like treasure from it's coffers. How dare you think that I control you, take you, possess you. When it is you who overpowers me, wielding your body like a weapon, weakening me and in your final stroke bringing me to my knees.

How the fucking mighty have fallen, Utterly surreal this dismal abysmality, Once fierce warriors, sunken so low, Scrapping the bottom again and again, How your knuckles must be raw and bleeding. A back once straight and tall, Now bent and crooked, A voice once filled with righteous vengeance, Now an annoying, droning whine. How disgusted I am, How disappointed I've become, How disillusioned this reality. Heartbreaking, soul rendering, tear jerking ... Pain too great to be endured Pride too much to swallowed, Anger too much to not be justified. I have sunken, into this deep, dank hole, I feel dead and buried, yet I breath, I reach for a hand to pull me out, There is none ... Leave me, left me, all have gone .... Where my heart once was, there is nothing.

This bough bends, but never breaks, It strains, but never quits, It groans, but never cries out, It carries the weight and holds on, It waits for the winds to cease, For the cold to lose it's grip, For spring to come once more, For the breeze's warm caress, For the rapture of bursting buds, To take in the sweetness of the first blossom, To bear fruit and be laden , Again aware and filled with purpose once more.

Any one could have predicted this day would come, Misunderstood words grew wings and took flight, Slanderous and hurtful, they rained down on us, We are left wet on the outside, A bitter taste on the inside, No safe habor to be found, No friendly eyes to look upon us, Dishonor has been heavily placed on our honor, The betrayals have made us appear betrayers, But we know ourselves, Loyalty is heavy in us and amongst us, Tongues will be ripped from liar's mouths, Burned on the fires of truth, All hearts shall be weighed, Upon the scales of justice, Dishonor will be repaid with full measure, No virtue will remain sullied, All will be washed clean with the blood of our enemies, Vengeance is ours, We shall repay a hundredfold, They will recognize their treachery, We will show mercy upon those worthy, And all else will be trampled underfoot.

Yes indeed, snakes possess forked-tongues, But none but the truth are uttered from, Those who claim speak straight and narrow, Not a forked-tongue they possess, But are their minds split hence within, One mind in two bodies, Hence with a double tongue does it speak, Two tongues does one mouth seem to possess, Confusion does appear apparent, Lie told in reverse, is it truth, Truth turned inside out would be a lie, One need not be a snake to slither in the dark, Attributes does not one make, Eye that would see truth, Is but blind in vengeance, A mind captured in a teacup, Believes it sees all the world, All things it sees are familar, But has never ventured from within, Look beyond the shiny eyes and dripping fangs, Look within where truth resides, Do not capture it on the wind, For it it will take flight and disappear.

The mere thought of you, brings the feel of it to me. To my heart, to my mind and to my body. A thought without any forethought, without trigger, but constant flow, as if a faucet always on, sometimes a trickle and some times a torrent, but always there. Physical want, desire for the warm and tingling flesh underneath my fingertips. To touch and feel the object so far and out of reach, you. To acquire the taste of you in my mouth, to take in the look of you and record it all forever in my brain. You step so easily in and of my mind and the moments spent there with you leave me awash with emotion and want so much greater than my physical body can contain. I am overwhelmed by it, left by it in a warm, wet gasping heap. Groping, poking, probing into giving, warm, wet flesh to find only a meager bit of sarisfaction. Desperation in the very attempt, relief for only a moment. Ah, that short moment, the production heaven sent, the result hellish in the knowledge and feeling of that incessant fever that creeps back into me. Never goes, never gone, a thirst never quenched, an appetite never sated. No matter how much we drink, how much we eat, more will we want. The taste of it and for it, will make our minds crave it even and ever more. Copyright ©2006 Delmina DeSousa

falling into the swirling abyss that is desire overtaken and overcome, all reality falling away fingers stretching out grabbing at, attempting to snatch hold of something solid, there is nothing but air, sooo warm, stifling warm eyes shut tight, so tight it hurts, and still falling, no landing spot, nothing solid to settle into, no hand to catch your careening body the tears push out the corner of your eyes, the force, the pull up is down, is down up ... still searching for something solid exhale hard, your breath stolen right from your very lips, like not breathing at all gasping as you tumble over and over, head over heels ... will the bottom of this pit never be found will this desire never cease if a hand only grabbed your falling body now, there you would be dangling over this bottomless pit .... is that hand your savior or your devil in disquise should you welcome this saving grace, or struggle with all your might, to be left to continue falling into this pit of overwhelming desire wish it away as you might, you know you yearn for it to be overcome and overtaken by it ... to give in would be so easy now, the struggle so tiresome to fall away, to be enveloped in the delicious warmth ... softness, then pressure, exertion and release why struggle, why fight it give into it all, your senses tell you .... give in ... feel the hold on you drop away, your body falling free once more no struggle, there is ease in the falling ... but how will it feel when the bottom comes, as much as you want feel it ... you know there is pain waiting for you ... even in the midst of this endless pleasure, there is pain ... there is pain in the giving, even in the sweet release, there is a tingling of it how can it be so such sweetness, borne of pain, how can this be? Copyright ©2006 Delmina DeSousa

These words from me to you, They come before your eyes, Seen and read by you, Allowing you to see me, As I am, standing before you, Warm, solid flesh and blood, Your eyes on mine, sinking deep, Reading from the very pages of my soul. Each letter bold upon this ethereal parchment, Vivid as the gilt heart upon my sleeve, Each lettered key, stroked tentatively, The letters forming these words, Emblazoned on this page, Each sentence I press and enter. They are the work of this chaotic mind, They are the expression of this impassioned heart, They are the finger's touch of this yearning soul, Words penned not with ink and quill, But with hand, heart and mind, Untouchable and floating in this static air. I would have them touch you, As I would have my hands touch your flesh, I would wish them falling from your lips, As I would have you spilling into my mouth , I would have them sink deep into you, Move you to your very depths, As I would have you move within me. These words, their meanings, Filled with my emotion and intention, They are more than scribbles upon this page, They are promises and vows made in mind and heart, They are a future in hope of being made the present. Copyright ©2006 Delmina DeSousa

The heart knows not the longing that awaits it. Control is not to be found anywhere. This thing made between us, not a thing made by us, but merely because of us. This heart that beats for you in wanting, knows not you, but only the rythm of it's own desire. There is no control here. This thought of you in my head, placed here by whom and why? The thought knows not the rationale in it's own process, but merely continues on it's task unknowningly. All these things that have directed me, direct me now and continue to direct me to you, where have they come from? I have no control over them, they are as if they are not my own, but belonging to someone other. They carry me, they propel me, they launch me, they send me to the place you are and I know not how I got there. I know not how I got here. This place this moment. I have no control, I can not stop it. I pulled and pushed and tried to draw away from all of this. Yet I can not. I do not refuse it now, it is too late for me. I am filled up with you, from my head to my toes. I do not want to be away from you. You will not let me go, even if I wanted to. Too late for us both. There is no control. There is no control, for I do not want it, I want to let it go, let myself go, let us go, whenever to wherever and however. Explaining leads to confusion. Explaining is merely a way of finding control. There is none, for I do not want it. Let it all come, wash over, spill over, create mayhem, for I will let it. Let it come, let it go, just let it be. It will be as it should and what it was meant to be and I will let it. For there is no control, I do not want it.

Never thought it would come to this, But knew it would nonetheless, The inevitable and the undeniable, My own death, fully realized, Large and looming it has finally come, Smothering my every paintstaking breath, I have struggled for each and everyone, My mind tells my body, no more, I am hollow now, though my heart beats still, I am cold and nothing can ever warm me now, Tears come and flow, drowning all memories, Soaking through, all bittersweet and yet, I linger here, my ghost forever haunting, Futilely attempting to grasp, But seeing it all slip away .... Copyright ©2006 Delmina DeSousa