NightWolf's blog: "Poetry"

The evil has arisen, deathly smile Dusty tears, Siphoning all religion Draining all your years. An unearthly pull to do it- To run away from life, To waste it all, lay in filth, To hide that bloody knife. With irredescant looming Completely I'll surround The life that is my precious gift To bludgeon it, watch it drown. My dad can hardly breath now, He is dying fast Whats the point in saving life To try to make it last?

When I'm hungry I eat. When I'm thirsty I drink. When I'm tired I sleep. But there's an Empty Void In my soul that Only you can fill. I eat, I drink, I sleep. I exist. But I live only because You allow it.

I used to pray, but dont know why. All I ever ended up doing was cry Life became painful, to hard to live I had given to God all I could give Things only got worse never ever good How God failed me I didnt think he could I turned from him went the other way Life got better each and every day Dont know why, had faith in nothin But it was short didnt last very long With tears in my eyes and a broken heart I knew I was going to end my life from the start Nothing in life will ever last Pulled the trigger, just one blast Cursing the name of God above I now walk forever in eternal damnation Here in earth he says I am to find salvation Well I havent yet, so here I am still Damn never choose the way out I did That is to say Self-Kill

I hide to cry because I have no where to call my own and "happily ever after" is a land too far away, just after once- upon- a- time; just this side of the rainbow and no one really cares anyway I hide to cry because I know I will never leave this place and dreams don't really come true its just all make- believe and it really doesn't matter I hide to cry because my weakness brings my tears and I have no one to hold me close no one here who loves me and no one really cares anyway I hide to cry because I embarrass the moon and she is my only friend but she's too far away to hold my hand and it really doesn't matter anyway I hide to cry because no one really cares anyway and is this pain even real it really doesn't matter and no one really cares anyway I hide to cry because no one validates my pain and no one really cares so why should I and it really doesn't matter anyway

Forget what they say Forget what I lived Remember my nightmares Remember my fears Forget my cries in the night Forget my pain of life I wish to know the truth Of darkness,truth of death Waiting that sunrise dies When night is born I stood on pale moonlight I wait for the shadow That comes for me I do not resist And follow this death shadow There is ruins of teh secret castle Cold wind on my back The hot desires for teh truth of death Is rising in me In the middle of the ruins There is a black cross From the cross Blood is dripping in the silver chalice Shadow looks at me And tells me to drink I drank from the silver chalice I fall beofre the blood cross My mind is full of images of the past I se before me all the creatures of the night I see the time before light When the demons flied And the people cried The ruins of the secret castle Are dissappearing And the castle is appearing I am in ancient kingdoms of immortals And I see black portals I am a mortal that has Flashbacks of immortals I am back on my feet Just silence around I am back in the middle of the ruins Before the cross, that is now burning Now in sleep I am turning And i dream nightmares again Cant sleep no more I think I dream awake But this is not a dream The immortals are returning

I see thy darkened heavens Closed away from reality I see thy hollowed hatred Opened to all conspiracy I see thy love For thy self My dear My Love My puppet My toy I love to see you scream Of the horrors of pain I love to see your body Enter the same Pain and suffering I love to see thy body become A cursed corpse A carcuss for the ravens Feast on its flesh my dears Let its final screams Eacho in death For all eternity May it remain humiliated May it remain ugly May it remain wet Of its own tears What am I my dearest The very devil From your worst fears My love Let me kiss you for the last time To suck your blood out From thy lips And spill it on your face You were nothing You are nothing And you will remain nothing May your final screams Eacho within my bloody realms of hell May they be hunted down by my laughter Thou shall never ecape from our wrath Look at us, one last time Embrace the truth and feel free To SUFFER

Come to me, little mortal I can bring you to heaven's portal There'll be no sorrow, there'll be no pain Feelings of joy will fill your brain Come to me, sweet human thing Give me your heart and I'll make it sing Forget your fears, leave them behind Forget the troubles of your kind Come to me... yes, that's right Now hold still, it's no good to fight I'll take your blood, and leave you dying Didn't you realise I could be lying?

Harsh words & violent blows Hidden secrets nobody knows Eyes are open, hands are fisted Deep inside I'm warped & twisted So many tricks & so many lies Too many whens & too many whys Nobody's special, nobody's gifted I'm just me, warped & twisted Sleeping awake & choking on a dream Listening loudly to a silent scream Call my mind, the number's unlisted Lost in someone so warped & twisted On my knees, alive but dead Look at the invisible blood I've bled I'm not gone, my mind has drifted Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow Today's just yesterday's tomorrow The sun died out, the ashes sifted I'm still here, warped & twisted

I look in my heart and i see Nohting but black where love should be I know i love her, and always will But how can i love when my brain says kill Rage is all i feel within Like the black of night, it has always been It is only myself i truely hate Maybe to die now is my fate Suicide is something i consider I wish I knew Why i was so bitter I hate this world, and i hate my life My only saviours are my kids and my wife Without them I would already be dead Because i would put a bullet in my fucking head Because of them I am still alive For them I will continue to strive

Anger driven emotions, hidden by my insanity. Deep thoughts and insights, blocked by the confusion. Timid, shy, careless masked by boisterous claims and paranoia. Love for a woman, repressed by the hate of myself. Young, innocent, naive, forced to grow up too quickly. Kept in chains until my mind is released by drugs. Wrapped in guilt and sorrow, but forced to act happy for my brother. My mouth spews forth insults, all really meant for me. Weakness, vulnerability, and intimacy, killed by pain. Self-esteem lowered by manic-depression and trapped by my very being, my words here written, my dreams, my thoughts, my feelings, my insanity, my pain, SET ME FREE!