How did this shit happen
How'd I become someone so loved but hated
Oh that's right...
I speak my mind without a care to who it offends
I never followed the rules I just make them bend
I'm not perfect and I'll never act like I am
But on the other hand
I'm so damn complicated you'd never understand
I care for everyone but care about no one at the same time
All I know is i deserve everything I've got because it's mine
This fame of Violent Tease wasn't an overnight sensation it took time
I found my niche and I work it harder then your weak ass lines
So don't play stupid when my name passes your lips
I'm your favorite desire and best kind of mind fucking trip
You want my attention then take notes while I drop some tips
I demand only your loyalty and friendship without fault
It's simple really just act like an adult
I don't play childish games or cater to mindless jealousy
Because honestly I lack the capacity for the woe is me mentality
I can only guarantee my authenticity
Whether you choose to embrace it or not is your own simplicity
This life of playing two sides of a card
Is mentally exhausting and fucking hard
I've been the shoulder to always lean on
I've been someone's personal demon
I live vicariously through manipulation
From suffering from an enormous amount of indignation
My mental scars empower my white night complex
But it can reflect my cruel nature in reflex
I often feel as if my soul is torn in two
One that will tear you down or one that will fight for you
Sarcasm is said to be an intelligent defense
Yet my natural instinct is to play it to my advantage often at your expense
I allow my facade of innocence lure you into false sense of masculinity
While you're simply men reduced to a goddesses aura of divinity
Although those deserving will achieve nothing but my full support in aces
And I'll never demolish the hearts of those who have their hearts in the purest place
I suppose it all depends on the person and their mindful expectations
To which part of me that they'll receive with their own evaluations
I will never bow down to what anyone desires or pleases
I will forever be the enigma known as Violent Tease
In the words of G-Easy
"This is my world and I does what I wish to.
If you have a problem with it sounds like a personal issue."
With love that many desire but so few deserve,
K <3
I'm not sure how hip hop became my place to escape
I thought it mostly just preached violence and hate
But I've learned to read between the lines
They're simply trying to express that life isn't always fine
That we all sacrifice things to just stay on the tip of the chain
And being able to connect those life lessons through lyrical gain
Is the only way their able to stay a little bit sane
Hoping that intelligent and worthwhile people can convey it through their words
Trying to portray that success is only achieved by being heard
It's not about big titties, fame, drugs, and the streets
Not about the bass or the beats
But following a better path without surrendering to the head
They only brag to make you focus on what's on the other end of the fence
Fueling your fire with taunting so you won't relent
Their support and determination the underlying verse that's not blatantly said
With the sole intention that their perservation wraps around your head
To lead you do do amazing things instead
I've enraptured your soul with my allure
Turned heart breaking into couture
Condemned remorse unto folk lore
I'm the best an worst you've ever seen before
I'll ensnare your darkest addiction
I'll fold you into loyal submission
I'm your best kept secret you won't mention
Sweet as pie outside but deadly on the in
I'll simply consume you in sin
And I'll do it again and again
An unfortunate game you cannot win
I fear not of being exploited
Your concern will be duly noted
I'll forgo the insult of apologetic distaste
Never will sincere regret cross my face
For you will never be the one to put me in my place
I deserve the highest of praise
I've manipulated lust for misplaced love
And I will ever get enough
Now let me lay this in a way you understand
I appreciate all my fans
But damn
Don't mistake this lioness for a lamb
My smart mouth will strike you down
So fast you'll still be spinning around
Before a decent comeback is found
I'm more than just a pretty face
And if you choose to reciprocate
It'll be the bitter taste of embarrassment you taste
I'll never allow myself to be belittled by a waste of space
So save my time and your worthless two cents
I could care less of your miserable existance
But I'll still share thanks for the attention
Or is that something I shouldn't mention
Since your ass whooping wasn't what you had intentioned
I suppose you should have kept your intent to yourself
I'll take joy having publicly added you to my sore loser shelf
I want you to remember me while you're still on you're knees
For I'll always be the unstoppable Violent Tease
I've always wrote about the bad in my life
Always emphasized on my lows and my strife
But there's a story left untold
And I feel as if it's time to let it unfold
Such as I didn't fight to get ahead
I used my intelligence instead
And I deserve this place in life I've built
I will never allow myself to get swallowed by guilt
Because there was no pretty face to get me by
No rich parents to act as my ally
I relied on deception and manipulation
Until I miraculously bloomed and learned to use temptation
Such a sad world when tits and ass control a man
Something I could never comprehend
But it was my ticket to rise
While the need for admiration led to an unseen surprise
I had fallend in love
And I saw it as a sign from above
As the one thing that became my decline in power and demise
I could no longer embrace this horrible facade
No longer deny the destrustion I brought
For it was the answer I had so longingly sought
They refer to me as the Mighty Tease
Bitch please
I'm the best damn thing by an extreme degree
And I'll bring any man to his knees
If he doesn't end up on the short end of a leash
Eesh
I'll admit I'm rather eccentric at times
Although I believe my oddities make me rather sublime
Fine
Maybe I'm just a little above your intellectual reach
But better to practice what you preach
Than to follow a bunch of shepardless sheep
Oh hell I probably lost you now in my senseless babble
Or is it more sensable thank you're willing to dabble
As it's not often that I'm able to express
Just how much I cherish the ability to impress
Those that simply fall under the illogical assumption
Of my damn kitty being the only thing on me that functions
So I hope they'll find themselves otherwise advised
That it wasn't my body that allowed me to survive
Surprise
I've got an arsenal of abilities to counter those beliefs
Any attempt to even manage a decent retort is wek
So remember who owns this title as the master of tease
And keep your ass in line like a good chess piece
Imperfections stare at me through the mirror
Their cruel words echoing in my ears
The time spent on attempting perfection all but lost
No matter the effort I put into it never worth the cost
Unable to achieve the standards I've set so high
And feeling less than desirable always asking why
Taking one picture after the next to just get it right
A losing battle no matter how hard I fight
A different hair color every couple months
The craving to be the natural me not considered even once
I've lost myself after all these years of trying to appease everyone else
And feeling that I'm only able to fail
the simplicity of wanting to be praised and adored taking first place
Something I've come to think I don't deserve
But regardless of how absurd
It'll only grow worse
Its eating me alive on the inside
Yet I can't escape it, can't hide
The need to be loved will consume me until the day I die.
*****I wrote this poem in realization that some of us suffer from things that are often beyond our control. I wrote this in honesty.****
Though I drove aimlessly, unsure of my destination, I was blindly being lead exactly where I needed to be.
The incompleteness of my life, the emptiness inside, the walls I had hidden behind collapsed around me
Life can change in an instant, for better or worse: Life can end in a moment, one careless act can change it all
The strength to progress is minimal, the desire to get up is minute sometimes, even the best of us fall
I have seen moments where I wanted to lay down and die, give in and succumb to the grim reapers desire
Through blinded eyes I see a light, as bright as the sun, feel the intense heat from an immense ball of fire
Am I dead? Have I finally tempted fate one time too many? Am I doomed to spend an eternity in this hell?
I close my eyes and imagine what could have been one last time. I feel peace coming over me, all is well.
I awake to an image of my truck engulfed in flames, upside down. Someone is trapped inside
I try to scream out, but the words won't come. It's my fault, for turning my life into such a wild ride
I feel a tugging at my arm, my body is being violently shaken. I can't make the trembling cease
I had no idea that this could happen, why me? I promised her forever. May she rest in peace!