Maiden Guenivere's blog: "Poems"

Let me sleep the sleep of a thousand dreams ,

Let me dream the dreams of the dead ,

For this world has grown sullen and cold ,

And I just wish to rest my head.

I taste salt from the sea spray upon my lips The waves bounce around like they are doing a crazy twist The white foam swirls around my feet As I walk in solitude along the beach Thinking of things that one may have been Of dreams not done, of a life not well spent The sand running between my toes Reminds me of places I've wanted to go Things I have seen ,places I shouldn't have been Of things that will come and things not as they seem Of motherhood that was lost Life and of death and of all in between The wind whispers a sweet melody in my ears Other times I hear laughter upon the air I have met bikers ,and monks in their brown cassocks Nuns ,and Fathers ( who I'm sure drank too much red wine) Race car drivers ,politicians , corporate ceo's Wanna be sugar daddies and some who just wanted ...well,you know!! For a while my life was a roller coaster road But of late I am more settled and sedate And I find that incredibly boring Yet still my life is fuller than most But I feel like I am but a ghost of myself I suppose age and sensibility is getting to me Have done some things of which I am not proud People who scared me and people who did not And other times when I could have died But all this stuff I have hidden inside Shortly there's the mayors yearly charity ball Hob knob it with black ties and their glamorous dates Attending for the second time in a row Pleasantries and networking ,when all I want is to go . Sometimes I don't think that I fit anywhere But I am just me !!

I dream of horror Of demons in the night And when they are bad I wake in shivery fright The sweat soaks me And chills upon my skin I try to sleep again But the nightmares re begin Why does this happen What need I to do Are my memories that bad Or of things I am yet to do .

In my head there are boxes many most are not worth even a penny brimming with pain ,humiliation white eyed terror ,derogation way too many tears all my wants ,desires and needs Also many things in between most locked with keys long rusted boxes very well dusted settled in the recesses of my mind But in my heart there's a special place , a tiny little box all made of lace in it resides all my love I give you the key ..................

I miss being in love Of bigs arms wrapped around me for no reason other than because His musky scent when he's been laboring hard The comfort of falling asleep in his arms and feeling safe Laughing at jokes more because he told me than that they are funny Catching him looking at me with a look indescribable And a little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth The warmth of his breath as he whispers sweet words in my ear Silliness done just to make me laugh . The tingles when he brushes past me and only just touches Wanting to please him just to make him happy . Loving him because I want to , not need to . The mutual respect and care for one another Of seeing him asleep and smiling even tho I know he wont see . The sweetness and softness of his lips as they caress mine The feeling of drowning as I give myself up to him And oh the sex !! Hard ,heavy , fast , soft ,tender and light Rough handling and feathery touches .... yearning for more. I miss it all . Will I find it ? Who knows ! Will it truly make me happy ? Maybe But it must be stumbled upon not looked for . There is a difference between being in love and lust .Of being loved or lusted after . These are things I know but they are all I know .......... the rest is learning ! All these things I have experienced but never enough of them combined together to hold me . To keep me forever .Twice I thought maybe but .............. There again maybe I'm just a bitch !!