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Brad's blog: "poems"

created on 10/23/2006  |  http://fubar.com/poems/b17174

A Clean Joke Texas style

A man from Texas , driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls-Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?" The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do." "I got one too... see?" the Texan says. "Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice." "You got a fax machine?" asks the Texan. "Why, actually, yes, I do." "I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan. The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?" The guy in the Rolls replies, "NO! Do you?" "Yep, got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies. The light turns and the man in the Volkswagen takes off. Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it. The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen. (It's ok, the joke is CLEAN) The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out. The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?" "Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's up?" "Check this out...I got a double bed installed in my Rolls." The Texan exclaims, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL ME THAT?"

Seek Not My Heart

Seek Not My Heart by Kit McCallum Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies, Do not you hear my heartfelt cries? Below the branches, here about, Do not you sense my fear and doubt? Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams, Do not you hear my woeful screams? Upon the meadows, touched with dew, Do not you see my hearts a'skew? Beneath the thousand twinkling stars, Do not you feel my jagged scars? Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze, For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees. It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies, Accompanied by heartfelt sighs. It's drifting o're the gentle rain, A symbol of my silent pain. It's buried 'neath the meadow fair, Conjoined with all the sorrow there. It's lost among the stars this night, Too far to ease my quiet fright. No gentle winds, seek not my heart, For simply ... it has torn apart.
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