JerZ's blog: "poem"

My Life is passing by before my eyes And im throwing it all away The love I have for him I hold dear Never letting go of the possibility That he may return to me People come in and out of your life But never one like him He was special We were special He made me feel special I hope he knows I will wait till the end of time End of time Funny That’s what he called himself Should that have been a warning A red flag, if you will I don’t know The best part is, it’s all my fault I did this I pushed him away I made me this way What should I do now What is the point of life without him Do I go on strong Hoping he returns to me Do I run and hide Like I used to do Or do I give up all hope Knowing he will never want me again There are other men, there are other men That’s what they keep telling me But I don’t want those other men I want him I don’t know how to live anymore without him I don’t want to live anymore without him There are three paths ‘lie’ in front of me Which one do I take None of them are labeled And each one looks better than the last But I stand here at this pitch fork in the road Alone and shivering from emptiness and exhaustion Hoping that I choose the right path Hoping he will be at the end…

What am I going to do without him holding me every night? What am I going to do now that I can’t just look up and see his smiling face? How am I going to sleep; cold and all alone; no one to hold me through a nightmare; no one to tell me it’s ok? To never hear your comforting voice; when you sing ‘Blue on Black’ or ‘Lima Bean Riot’. What happens now when we run into each other on the street? Will you say Hello; will we hug; will you act like you don’t know me? Are you going to hate me for doing this or will you agree? I’m not happy anymore and you know this; you see it; I take it out on you and it’s not fair. We’re not on the same path anymore, Jay, and it hurts. I don’t like what you do, I don’t like where you work, I don’t like what you say… I always said I would never take your dreams away from you and I have already tried, but I am not going to! I Love you Jay, and I always will. So stay healthy and be happy… For me?