The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of
celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.
Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the
Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the
eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how
much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business but, his
later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very
smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man
and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about
20 minutes.
Please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on to someone
else who may be having a crumby day and kneads it.
