Osiris's blog: "path to the padded cell"

im a daddy... i dont know if theyll make it... im worried... i hope theyll be ok... pray for them please

I am gonna be a daddy! twins! i hope she comes up here!! ask for details.... yup TRIPS... cant wait

there she is oh so hot imege after imege they just dont stop parts of her streaming across the screen parts that not even i have seen something tells me something changed she more un-inhibited im more deranged time has passed here we are life is stail i hear the call its a scream directed at me go leave get away from me so i go letting time pass me by watching others actions as inside i die love and hate go hand and hand infection seeps in with each imege i die again and again

the lonelyness is starting to take its tole on me thoughts and feeling rush in in waves each one worse then its predisessor pounding me against the rocks broken and bleeding i stand tall walk back to you on the beach once more but with one breath you cause my head to fall i flee in shame loosing too much blood, unable to walk on i fall to my knees and pray why has your breath foresaken me it starts to rain as i begin to weep drops so cold, as cold as the emotions youve shown im freazing in the pain, your hearts cold rain i see walking twords me as the clouds part passing by the clouds rush in with high tide unable to move parilized by you i die

the pain inside corsing through my intire body renching me backand forth spasiming abs, i consume myself uncontrolable contractions and a shaky grip not much to do to get rid of it once a day it goes away but consumption only causes more pain what else is there to say with life this way ill wither and deacay

oh the beuity of her face as the tears stream down i know she needs me ill always be here i hope but can she speak the confusion sets in oh i feel it coming back again and the devil looks up with a grin the pain is flowing into her heart again and i feel it im here to be here i told her forever shell see forever is forever to me my heart sobs in loss arms ach for her to hold and yet i know she is gone as the confusion sets in oh i feel it coming back again and the devil looks up with a grin the pain is flowing into her heart again and i feel it her pain and cry

closing my eyes there u are a spector from my past as i sit here craving for my razor an afflicted state of desire my soul contorts in pain Desire is not in itself wrong Contort Distort and merge i continue on pleading in silence the bliss of abuse a longing over comes the unholy longing love in lust the forclosure of designed propaganda leaves no lies void be the zone of comfort giving birth to true intimacy be love for who you really are show me who you are i pleed

about 3 years ago i had a bass player named jesse, key word had. he came over to say hi when he saw our drummer there aswell, well now ex-drummer named jazz. jaz is a virgen. jesse and i prompty deside hes loosing it that night. i call around but no1 is home. as if by mirical my ex gf who i never fucked stops by, her name is emily. jesse and i look at each other and nod as if to say its game... i get her comfertable, you know make her feel safe and welcome. after a bit of wispers into her ear i get my hand down her pants and start fingering her. jesse wantinf to play starts fingering her as well... at first were trading off but before long we both have fingers in her. in moments were puting in another... freaking out because there is still room... finger after finger we slip ing more and more freaked till in our awaze ment we both have full fists in her we were there in my room dubble fisting her. i fliped out and went to scrub her off my hand. there was no use this girl was rank. growing up as a poor white boy in socal i went fishing alot for sport and food with the fam. we would always bring in chips and cheese for nochos... it was a terdition we hade at least once a month. on this day we brought too much cheese like way too much cheese so we through it in the ice chest but forgot to buy ice... being a poor family we were too broke to get ice so said fuck it. we fished all day and well into the night cought sooo menny fish the ice chest was over filled. when we got home we were all too tired to cary in the shit so we left the cooler there. next day we forgot about it as well. about 3 weeks later we were gonna go fishing again and opened the ice chest forgetting what was in it to clean it and the fish had rotten into the cheese and the cheese was moldy.. it smelt of death. i tell you its story for one reason.... emily smelt worst about 4 months later i got dared to fuck her and i never backout of a dare.

with streams of eyeligner racing down my face i face the world and wallow in its waist i see the mess and analize how it was made all this pain over words i hate this is what happens when you react and dont waite i would apoligise but its not my place i could try but its a bit too late she is gone for good i think i gues im just writing this for me working things out to work on me so adu once more the last time ill miss my friend forever more

i wondered here in this empty place walk on at a leisure mind pacing through outerspace thoughts puicken my heart begins to race though of her life me and suicide the path becomes rocky rain starts to fall as if for fear of death i begin to run faster and faster thats about when the falling had began i see her face i hear her name all i can think is of my loss and our pain so now u see why i cant move thats why they have me tied up in this room