Rae's blog: "Papercut."

I've been attending some slam poetry contests lately, and everytime I go and watch, I wanna compete more and more. See, every single person at these competitions is the progressive liberal communist of my nightmares. Don't get me wrong, I love these people, I feel at-home around them, but at the same time, I'm like Samuel L. Jackson at a Klan meeting. I sit there and listen to them bash bush, bash Wal-Mart, bash this nation, bash everything about everything, and then call for indiviualism, standing up for what you believe in, freedom of speech, etc. I wonder how they would respond if I got up on stage and praised Bush, praised Wal-Mart, praised this nation, etc. I'm just being an individual letting my voice be heard, like they've called me to do over and over again. Ha, yeah, I think it'd be interesting to give these pansies a dose of their own green-weenie medicine. they say 90% of communication is non-verbal. why did i not know this before?? think how much time i could've saved! i should have been doing this a long time ago... the rest of my post will be non-verbal. This is Rae, listening to her own soundtrack in a thunderstorm. God, life is good.

Copulate Main Entry: copulate Part of Speech: verb Definition: have sex Synonyms: bang, bed, boff, breed, cohabit, conjugate, couple, dork, fool around, fornicate, have coition, have relations, have sex, hump, lay, lie with, make it, make love, make out, mate, screw, sleep together, sleep with, unite. I was reading a book today--hey shut up I was--when I heard the most annoying voice I've ever heard in my life. The voice surrounded me quickly, crippling my thoughts and stopping me mid-sentence. It was from a person, I think. Ya know, I'd heard myths of sailors getting so sex-hungry out on the seas that at night, when everybody was asleep, they'd copulate with fog horns. I didn't believe these outrageous stories until this afternoon when I encountered a half man/half fog horn offspring. He looked to be around 16 years old and much to my surprise, he seemed to be generally liked and socially accepted. Long story short, right before I threw a rock at him, I recalled the horny sailor stories from my childhood and suddenly felt bad for the poor guy. Shoot, he didn't know any better; how could I be mad at him? I can't. Instead, I'll accept the loud-mouthed freak as he is.

I'm sick and tired of this cold weather. Where's global warming when you need it?! Now, every time I drive past a big SUV I shout, "AMEN BROTHER! WAY TO BE!" Finally somebody's putting out an effort to make it warmer! Then, when I see little hybrid cars I flip them off. They're the reason it's so damn cold, those inconsiderate pricks. Thank you, Taylor.