lookin for new name lol's blog: "Pain"

What if i was gone from this world? Would anyone even care? Its like life never happened I think that would be fair What is i was gone from this world? Would it hurt as much as being alone? Nothing could be worst than the loneliness That i feel when i hear those words from the phone What if i was gone from this world? Would it change anything? I think everyone's heart could go on Holding onto to precious things

It hurts inside, all the pain is sucking up energy within Everyone says just be yourself, but the truth is I dont know who me is I've been someone else for so long that I lost who I am In a world where if you're not a certain way you get judged I dont know if i could ever be whole again, but then again you can't make something whole that never was It's like a missing peice of me Without it I can't live After all I've been through you'd think I could handle this, but the thing is I can't take it anymore and I don't think I could make it I want to reach out to someone, but I'm scarde to let someone in Scarde I might get rejected So many people have betrayed me in my life, so many people have left me, so many people never actually got the chance to know me before they walked away I only let people in so far...don't get me wrong I'm just misunderstood I want to let people in I try to reach out, but they just don't get the clue I used to look in the mirror seeing the person I hate to be and now I look and see nothing in me There's nothing I can't handle in my life at this point, but when you don't fill the pieces along the way you lose yourself and you turn into nothing Which is what I am nothing without knowing

Lost in a world, that scares me to death, Lost in a crowd, I'm losing my breath. Lost as a boy, lost as a man, I need to grow up, don't think I can. Lost as a person, can't find my way. Lost in life, every day. Lost in worry, who am I? All my life, I've lived a lie. Lost to kindness, lost to love, Lost in a sky, like a new-born dove. Lost in thought, which I shouldn't do, It winds me up, I can’t get through. Lost to comfort, all kind words, Lost to advice, it isn't heard. Lost to those who really care, All these people, always there. Lost in me, I need a break, Lost in wonder, which road to take? Lost in a place I don't know well, Where are you now? There's no one to tell. Lost here, all alone, Lost apart from the mobile phone. Lost still, there are no calls. I'm struggling alone, to break these walls. Lost in mind, lost in soul, Lost memories, they're just a hole. Lost family, lost mate, Gone now, yet I'm full of hate. Lost now, for what to say, Lost in boredom, think I'll leave. There's a lot in life I need to achieve.

Hello? ! Can you hear me? Im right in front of you. How can I get you to notice me? What do I need to do? I'm always here, yet you ignore me. So I stay contained with a heart full of sorrow Because I know that even if I get some attention today You'll go back to forgetting about me tommorow. Do you see these tears Flowing down my stress ridden face? Why won't you acknowladge me? Am I a disgrace? I work hard to be a good person But you still only notice 'You know who' You make me feel like he's better than me. I guess in your heart it must be true. Please...Im here... I can't take this anymore. Im just as good as him. What are you doing this for? ? ? Thats it now. Im finished. Im gone. Im done with the pain and the crying. I forgive you because you don't realize that Because of your actions, my spirit is dying

I laugh, I cry, I smile, I sigh. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm gloom, I'm mad. People see me like this. Some people don't, Some people will, Some people won't. But what they don't see, Is behind my eyes. They don't see my pain, And when a part of me dies. My pain kills me, More and more each day. I know that my pain, Will never go away. Now you know me, More than most people will. So pleaze don't hurt others, For they too can feel.