soldierboymichael's blog: "Pain after the war...."

She left me today....she gave up on us...like my heart meant nothing to her....after all we went through, and all the times we was truely happy....she still says she loves me, yet im not worth even talking too....no more calls, no more games, no more hope....all i ever wanted was to make her happy. i dont want to talk more about it right now, i am crying again, i hate what shes done to me...im a soldier, a really decent guy, i dont diserve someone doing this to me... You said you would never do this to us, and i actually believed you. what a fucking idiot i must be. i fell for it again... go to my myspace if you want to read more, i just cant type anymore right now...

my best friend killed herself today...i was always holding out that one day we would be together, but we lived in 2 different worlds, not to mention 2 different states...shes who i turned to, who i talked to when no one else understood....no one even knows why, but recently she started taking empty syringes and would drain blood from her arms with them....to get a simulated high...last night she went too far...i dont know what to think, i dont know what to do... i even feel like joining her.... ive never been this alone before, yet i cant imagine the pain she must have been in to have done that...i never had a clue...goodbye carmen....goodbye...