gabbyb508's blog: "on the serious side"

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.. 2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry. 3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. 5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them. 6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste t heir time on you. 9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened 11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around. 12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you. 13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

Baby, I get so scared inside and I don't really understand Is it love that's on my mind or is it fantasy? Heaven is in the palm of my hand and it's waiting here for you What am I supposed to do with a childhood tragedy? If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain the same? Sometimes it's hard to hold on, so hard to hold on to my dreams It isn't always what it seems when you're face to face with me You're like a dagger, and stick me in the heart And taste the blood from my blade And when we sleep, would you shelter me in your warm and darkend grave? If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain the same? Will you ever take me? No I just can't take the pain Would you ever trust me? No I'll never feel the same I know I've been so hard on you; I know I've told you lies If I could have just one more wish, I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain unchanged? If I close my eyes forever, will it all remain the same?

if i close my eyes forever... i first heard this song in 1989....i was 24...newly divorced after a 5 year marriage...we had 2 girls (both beautiful succesfull young women now)...i had started suffering from depression....after i was divorced i came home to mass...ended up in a state psych hospital for 5 weeks...from there i was placed in a halfway house...thats when i heard ozzy and lita...at the time i was still very depressed and saw the song as feeling as if i didnt matter...that it wouldnt make a difference if i was no longer here...but if you look at it from another angle...in different light ...it can mean the opposite...i see it as how the people in my life would miss me...and losing my potential to make a difference in this little piece of life i occupy...i'm still very lost right now...i dont know where i'm going....i have no clue what i want to do...first of all i need to feel ok in my own skin...to get over needing others to validate my existance...learn to live life for the sake of living ...and purpose will follow...i still suffer from depression...i still have very down days...but i have found hope in my life...i have 3 reasons to live...andrea, kristy and shannon...my 3 wonderful, beautiful girls...my love for them keeps me alive

a thank you to some special people in my life its amazing the impact people can have in your life...there are two people right now that has helped me see a different side of myself...someone i had forgotten was there...one is a very dear friend who has been here for me almost 2 years...he nver gave up on me even when i was making terrible self-destructive choices...we even met here on myspace...our friendship has grown and developed amazingly....i went through some pretty hair shit this past year...especially at christmas and in this spring...and he was there through it all...working so hard to hold me up..trying to give me guidance...some of which i didnt understend or simply ignored...there are times when we dont want to hear the truth...but he didnt give up...he was still there when things were the worst...i can now see and appreciate the patince and understanding he had through it all...and when i was ready to see...he shone the light for me...helped guide me out of dispair...we all know things dont get better right away...but his patience and persistance paid off...i feel like i have awakened from a nightmare...i wasnt able to sleep last night....i need to talk to him so badly...i waited hours for him to come online...and when he did...he spent over 3 hours talking to me...helping me through the dawn...helping me see the light of a new day...and facing it...not hiding from it filled with fear...some things still scare me...one thing is going back to school...but i know he will be there to help and support me..to give me the encourgament i need to keep going ...to keep from giving up...maybe even help with my homework...lol...you know who you are...and i know you will read this...i want you to know how much you mean to me..and i'm saying it here so everyone else will know how special a man you are....i have come to love you with all my heart with a love that can only be found in very rare curcumstances...thank you for being in my life and sticking with me when i was a mess the other person i met just recently...from the moment he saw me he could see the sadness in my heart...he asked me if i was sad...i told him no and started crying...he was so patient and gentle for the next 2 hours...listening to me ...he drew me out...i talked about things over my whole life i never talked to anyone about...not even in therapy...( and i've been therapy for 18 years ! )...he could see in me the confident secure woman that was there...i'm not totally convinced yet...lol...these life changing events take time to fully form and develope...he also has been an encouraging force in getting my life in order...to look at stopping some of my self-destructive behaviour...cant do it all at once.....i can see better the things i've been doing...the bad choices i've been making...and i'm ready to stop...enough is enough...time to start a real life...i'm starting with getting out of this one roon hole i've hid myself in...new place starts a new life...and from there...learning the damn bus system...lol...so i can get to the scool...i feel a great weight lifted off me...as another good friend has said...''bring it on !!!!''

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.