Beardie's blog: "Observations"

• Hollow soul and shattered heart.
• Guide me far from this dark.
• I beg life for a chance to start.
• A new beginning a brand new spark.

 

• Pull me out from this hollow hole.
• Allow me the chance to feel whole.
• A weary heart is the grand toll.
• A heart now turned to blackened coal.

 

• Love lost and soul unbound.
• A heart darkened and unfound.
• Hope taken pound by pound.
• Let me be to seek the sound.

 

• Lost love forever on the winds it blows.
• A heavy heart that knows many woes.
• A once beating heart that is now froze.
• By the many hurts and sorrows.

 

• Lessons taught and lessons learned.
• For love is all the heart ever yearned.
• Only to be met with flames and burned.
• A once good heart forever turned.

 

• They say that real love is pure and true.
• That it can cure any shade of blue.
• For great wings true love had grew.
• To those who taught me better.. I thank you.

 

- This is to thank all those who have shown me that true love is only a myth. I once thought that maybe some day... I may find the one that would be for me. Unfortunately, I have come to the harsh reality that life is only as good as you make it. Not as good as someone else makes it. After living life and having two beautiful baby girls. After being engaged six times and never married. After knowing what love without honesty is like.

I have learned a harsh lesson. Never trust anyone, and never allow yourself to fall for anyone. I guess I should have seen it coming after all. Even after catching the so called loves of my life being the opposite of what they claim. I have learned that there is no reason for me to bother looking for something that isn't realistic in this day in age.

As a friend once told me before he left this hell. Never trust anyone that you can look in eyes. I never understood what he meant. I guess you could say I've grown wiser now. Thinking back on it I realized what he meant. Every girl I have been engaged to.. I could easily look into their eyes and see the lies. I could see just how dark their hearts were. Yet, I chose to be blind to it.

He told me that someone with a truly pure heart, is extremely hard to look into their eyes. As it would overwhelm you. I met someone like this before, of course it was a very close friend that is no longer around. I do miss the people that guided me, and showed me what true compassion for others was actually like.

I remember the one time I looked that person in the eyes, and how truly overwhelming the feeling was. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think, I couldn't even swallow my own saliva. I realized then what he meant. I only felt pure warmth, and it was one of the very few times in my life I wanted to cry.

I've been through things in my life I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I've seen things happen to my closest friends, that no person should have to witness. After getting to this point in my life and watching the people I care about most disappear one by one. Everything feels so much colder in a world with no emotions.

If you have someone you truly love, hold onto them. Show them you love them every day. Don't forget, that time is not guarenteed for anyone. At any moment, your number may be called, and you will cease to be. If you have found a love you wish to never let go. Hold on to it, and pray you will never have to. Be glad you were able to find someone special enough to hold a place in your heart so big, that no doubts, no hate, and no amount of sorrow could possibly push it out.

Remember, that love is something special and should not be taken for granted. Too many people use their version of love now to manipulate others into doing whatever it is that they want them to do. It truly is a cruel world we live in. Governed by even darker forces, and easily trended with technology. Love is not something that should be taken lightly. Neither are the people in your life that care for you. Love like there is no tomorrow.. because one day? There won't be.

Person who reaches 2500 rates first:

1. Gets 500k.

2. Gets put on my bomb list.

3. Linked to my profile

4. A ticker (should be able to get another one by the end of the auction/contest.

5. Added to my family

6. Maybe something else who knows :D

 

Cost: 100k to enter.

(Note: Not sure yet If I am going to do this, need to find out how many people are going to want to be in it before I do it. Make sure you wait for me to ask you for the entry fee.)

What I will need from you:

1. The picture you want to use.

2. What you are offering. (Offer more and get a better bid naturally)

 

If you are interested in being in the auction/conest:

Leave a comment here with a "Yes I want to enter" and put a number. The first person puts one, the second puts two, and so on. So at the top of the comments I know how many people are interested.

People often wonder why so many people have changed. They say that what we have done in our past defines our now, and changes our future. In reality the only thing that changes who you are is you. You have control of your life.

A lot of people out there will fill others heads with lies if it gets them what they want, why people do this is still a mystery. Whether it be something they enjoy doing, or if they do it for the "sport". I find people that will say whatever they have to, to get what they want very sad. It's unfortunate that they don't realize that they are being loved for something they aren't. I'd rather be hated for something that I am, rather then be loved for something I'm not.

I'm a very frank person, and I'll tell someone exactly what is on my mind. Some people can't handle this, and it's unfortunate. I have given a lot of people really good advice and they never take it, ending up paying the price in the end.

Society has trained people to follow "clicks". I rather lead nothing then follow everyone. I am my own person and that is how it will always be. It's sad to see that so many people shun others just because they aren't exactly like them. Which is funny, considering they are trying to be something they aren't. In the end, they end up turning hypocrit.

Why is it, that we as human beings go through so much pain through out life? Society cares nothing of others only themselves. Money is the object of power in this reality of ours. The harsh reality that, without money you are no one. There's so many people now a days that get off on making other's live purely miserable. The horrible truth that we as human beings are selfish materialistic and ignorant. We destroy our own planet, and the creatures on it, for entertainment and for "our own good" when in reality the only thing we are doing is destroying everything we've worked so hard to obtain. Pollutants are destroying our ozone, and we do nothing to stop it. We destroy thousands of our own race, just to fight for something that is completely unnecessary. Why fight over oil, food, and other OBJECTS? Why?... Money.... it's all about money. Power, there are too many power hungry people in this world, that hate others just because of the tint of their skin, just because they don't have thousands of dollars like they do. It's really sad that everyone can't get along and just work things out.. the entire world would be at peace if everyone would just see that the only thing we are doing and accomplishing, is marking a place in time to innevitably destroy ourselves.

I've been pondering on the whole cheating action produced by both the male and female populations. Believe it or not (sorry ladies) But, females are statistically more likely to cheat. Unfortunatly, men are to blame as well. I've been trying to figure out why a person would have a relationship with someone, just to go behind thier back and sleep with someone else. If you're not happy with the person your with, then why are you with them? Apparently they aren't doing it for you, either emotionally, physically, or mentally. If that's the case..... FIND SOMEONE ELSE, Don't play with someones emotions and feelings. It can be hurtful, not only to the victim. I guess that some people get off on the excitement of knowing they are doing someone wrong? Who knows.... I've come to realize that most of the women that are faithful, sweet, kind, gentle, etc..... are taken by these deceitful, coniving, cheating, and lying people. Leaving the rest of us high and dry. What a world we live in, no?

Chaos or Humanity? People call death a part of chaos. Some consider it to be nothing else then an idea, problem, or fear. I consider it just the beginning.... The beginning to another end. People killing other people.... Some call it Chaos. I call it survival of the fittest. Why survival of the fittest? Simple, look amongst the other creatures that this planet supports. Lions, kill their own prey to feast. Chaos? No nature. Same thing applies to the human race. Do we not kill and eat our own prey? We eat chicken, turkey, cow, and pig for example. People call eating another person cannabalism. Is it not cannabalism when we eat other creatures such as cow and pig? We are eating meat. Some people consider the world to be a cruel place and an unforgiving one at that. I see these things as just natures way of keeping its skin clean. It's got to dispose of some things some how, am I right or wrong?

I'll tell you, if there isn't one thing I can't stand more then lying, cheating, using, and abusing..... it's got to fucking be avoidance. I mean christ, if you don't want to talk to the person. TELL THEM! It's alot easier just telling the person you don't want to talk to them, then having them trying to talk to you or see you, and you avoid them. It's alot easier, not only for you but, for them too. I mean, is it so hard to tell someone "Hey, I'm not interested in talking with you." ???? NO IT'S FUCKING NOT!!! I mean, is it that they just aren't good enough to talk to you? I find it pathetic, that some people actually get off on avoiding people, cause they know that they will keep trying to get in touch with you. Avoidance is some stupid ass childish game, that I guess some people must play to make themselves feel better about who they are inside. GROW UP PEOPLE!!!

Why is it that women judge a guy before they even know him? Why is it women think, omg he's got this and this flaw.... EWWWW. I mean shesh, I understand that you have to be attracted to the person yes, But, judging the guy compared to others isn't right. NOT ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME! What they don't realize is the guys they judge before knowing them, nine times out of ten are the ones that are keepers. No one is perfect in this world and we all have our own flaws. I love how a chick thinks, ok im too good for him.... (click delete). how would you know if your too good for someone. how do you know they aren't too good for you? BEFORE YOU JUDGE SOMEONE, GET TO KNOW THEM! It's not hard to judge someone. It's hard to get to know someone. What women fail to realize, is that most of the guys that are keepers shield themselves and lock themselves away so that no one will get to know them. They do it because of the girls that judge them and do things that are just wrong. It really is sad. I bet a million dollars that atleast half the women that read this.... are going to judge me by what this says. AND AGAIN.... POINT PROVEN!